Give Me The Rock

[Part 1 of a 3 part series]

Not that it really has any fantasy relevance… but I’ve always wanted to have a team consisting of players that I like. It would be hard to draft such a team, and even more difficult to win with such a team, so I’ve never really done it. But this is how it would look.

PG - Dwyane Wade: You can’t deny the kid’s got Yarisma. And I just love watching the pro-hop.
SG - Tracy McGrady: I’ve always loved Sleepy Eyes. Even before he scored 13 points in 35 seconds. My wife likes him too. She’s had him on her team for 3 years running.
G - Kirk Hinrich: He’s already a top pick anyway, and he’s white. And he’s on My Bulls. Yeah, I’m biased.
SF - Luol Deng: He’s going to be a breakout pick this year anyway, and he’s a Bull. I’m totally biased.
PF - Dirk Nowitzki: I’m kind of hot and cold with Dirk. I just like that’s he’s a big guy who and drop the 3. Kind of like Sam “Big Smooth” Perkins. I believe Garnett could flip the entire script if he started taking more 3’s. I know he’s got it in him, but as a coach you obviously want him down low, or shooting turnarounds all the time.
F - Andres Nocioni: Yeah, I’ve picked 3 Bulls so far, but you can’t mess with The Instigator. He’s insane and I love every minute of it. Even when he tosses up threes like he expects to make them.
C - Tim Duncan (if he still qualifies at C): Mr. Soft-Spoken has a place in my soft heart. His fantasy production is tailing off, but he’s giving back to the Virgin Islands.
C - Emeka Okafor: Graduated in 3 years, and outplayed Pau Gasol on my video game fantasy team. Guys who ball like that on my video game team earn a place in my heart. At least for a year.
Util - Chauncey Billups: He won my support by taking 3 after 3 against the Lakers 2 years ago (in the Finals, obviously). Not to mention he’s a PG who can post people up. That’s dope.
Util - Andre Iguodala: Has done nothing but make me wish I’d drafted him last year. Seems like a good fit with AI, who would have made the team a couple years back… so I guess that counts for something. Dunks like crazy. That’s cool.

Possible bench players (aka Honorable Mention):
Michael Redd: possibly the strangest form in the NBA, and left-handed to boot.
Theo Ratliff: Would never actually make it, but he was one of my faves a couple years ago.
Darius Miles: Probably a good fantasy pick this year. I like him, but not that much. He was on my fantasy video game team, though, which doesn’t hurt.
Jannero Pargo: He’s like the poor man’s Ben Gordon, which makes him more endearing.

Turns out this is going to be part 1 of a 3 part series on “teams.” Stay tuned for the Never-On-My-Team team, and the lineup from my video game team from last season (I don’t play it anymore since I gave it to a friend who bought a used Xbox and didn’t have any games besides Halo 2).

The NBA Source has a nice long article on the top 10 best things about Fantasy Basketball. In fact, Fantasy Hoops checks in at #12 on his Top 30 reasons to get Fired Up about the 2005-06 season. Of course, you can get Fired Up about Fantasy every year.

There’s actually some knowledge up in there too:

9. Sleepers

Every year there are a handful of guys ready to burst on the scene who are worthy of a 4th-6th round pick. The problem is figuring out who these players are and exactly when to select them.

Here’s what to do:

–Do your freakin’ RESEARCH. Don’t listen to James Quintong, look shit up yourself

–Base your selections on how players fared last season (or this preseason), especially during the final month or so

–If you’re going to take rookies, it’s best that you don’t reach no matter how tempting it may be

–Stick to rookies who played well in college or high schoolers on the LeBron/Howard level

–Only label a guy a sleeper if you know for sure that he’s starting or getting 30+ minutes

Here’s what NOT to do:

–If there’s a proven center ready to nab in the 5th, then don’t take a chance on guys like Fabricio Oberto. Players like this will more than likely be available at the conclusion of your draft

–Don’t take 2nd year players too early. But if there’s say an Al Jefferson sitting around and the PF crop is dwindling down, of course take that chance. But on the contrary, don’t take a Dwight Howard in the first round of a 10-team league. It’s just foolish. There are plenty of better players out there, guys that have actually proven something.

–NEVER, EVER tell one of your buddies about a sleeper you discovered. Not only will he take this guy 1 or 2 picks before you’re ready to, but he’ll rub it in your face all season especially after that guy goes for 37 and 11 in the first week of the season. Trust me, you’ll want to kill yourself.

and also:

8. Drafting

There is nothing on Earth I’d rather do than take part in a fantasy basketball draft. Sifting through dozens of sheets with player projections, stats, rankings, etc. not only will put a smile on your face but it will also infuriate anyone in your house not involved in the draft. I recommend a beer or six during the process to ease the pain of those nitwits taking the full 2-minute allotment for every pick. Another good idea is to queue up a few players to prepare for your next pick. There are always some sleepers sitting deep in the rankings that other managers will foolishly forget about. Don’t be that guy. Remember that players you end up selecting from the 5th round on could prove just as valuable as your initial picks. I beat a kid in the Playoffs last year without Duncan or Maggette. You know who my unsung hero was? Yup, none other than Nick Collison. Never underestimate your late round picks.

Checking Bloglines this morning, I found many interesting feature articles on the NBA completely written by their respective bloggers without being derivative, nor “reaming” anybody at all. Just some interesting season previews and other perspectives on the upcoming year. And some of the blogs also had a bunch of links to other blogs that you might not have known about, but which also provide unique insight and analysis of this sport that we call Basketball.

Raise your hand if you quit your day job to write about basketball.

Raise your hand if you’re here trying to find out if Josh Smith has a girlfriend.

I was going to write some 2,000 word diatribe about this “sportsblogger firestorm” that’s been going around these internets. But fuck that. I’m not a legitimate journalist, so I will do whatever the fuck I want. The one rule I will live by is to always link to my sources.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050928

I always have links to my sources, and I think it’s bogus that Big Bill Simmons acknowledges that he doesn’t. How can he accuse bloggers of cannibalism and then admit that he cannibalizes blogs? Hey Bill, you’re white. Anything else you want to say to the kettle that’s boiling on the upper-middle-class white male blogosphere?

http://www.themightymjd.com/2005/09/simmonsklosterman-conversation.html

I was reading this post and getting all riled up… But by the time I got to the end, I kind of got tired of the whole thing. I mean, I am subscribed to Simmons RSS feed, but I haven’t actually read any of his articles since like, back in June. Not that that means a damn thing. Moving on…

http://freedarko.blogspot.com/2005/09/we-go-to-war-and-i-aint-making-dime.html

This is the kind of post that makes me feel like I gotta step it up. This blog is called Give Me The Rock for a reason. I think this is actually the first non-tech weblog post that I’ve ever bookmarked to my del.icio.us account. I’ll come back and read it whenever I need inspiration.

I’ve written columns and features (Shawn Marion for MVP anyone?)… so I guess Simmons wasn’t really talking about me anyway. I think the only person I’ve ever “reamed” on here was Chad Ford, but that’s cause it really did seem like he was just making shit up sometimes.

Did I mention this site has a PageRank of 0? Just thought I’d mention that.

http://sackingsblog.blogspot.com/2005/09/sports-guy-vs-sportsbloggers.html

Just some comments from another member of the New Media. He also has a PageRank of 0. But he’s in my fantasy league. Is Bill Simmons in my fantasy league? I don’t think so.

So here’s what I’m wondering…

1. Do I need to be more entertaining on here (ala Bill Simmons)? Or do people just come here for fantasy news and get annoyed when I editorialize? (Actually, I think people come here to find out which NBA players have boyfriends more than anything, so they probably do get annoyed - or else bored - by any editorialization that doesn’t concern the marital status of the players we all hold so dear)

2. Do I need to write more features and columns on here so it doesn’t just look like I’m scrapping off of everyone else out there? Or, once again, does my reader even really care? She probably just comes here to laugh at me for continuing to write stuff that no one ever factors into their fantasy strategy anyway.

Cut it. Print it. Cause that’s how we do it in the Blogodome.

CelticsBlog checks out all the basketblogs that got redesign/upgrades over the summer… but conspiciously leaves GMTR off the list. Oh, maybe cause I pimped this shit out back in April. What up tho?

Trendsetter.

I’ve got this league all set up at Sportsline. I’ve even got 8 teams in it. I’ve got a bunch of emails out to other people who haven’t responded. I’ve like to have at least 2 more teams to make it a “real” league. You can leave your email in the comment form where it has a space for it and it won’t be published on any website that gets crawled by harvester robots. I promise.

If you aren’t comfortable leaving a comment, you can also email me.

It only costs $10 for the whole season. That’s 7 months of entertainment for only $1.4285714285714285714285714285714 a month. If you spend even an hour a week setting your lineup and browsing for free agents (or even customizing your logo), that comes out to 35 cents an hour. Where else can you get this caliber of entertainment for three dimes and a nickle per hour? You can’t even go to a free movie preview that cheap! And that’s free!

If you’re reading this (and Feedburner tells me there are 40 of you), you should be joining this league.

Via True Hoop, a speech given by Etan Thomas on Sept. 24th (2005):

I want to get big yellow buses with no air conditioner and no seatbelts and round up Bill O’Reilly, Pat Buchanan, Trent Lott, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Jeb Bush, Bush Jr. and Bush Sr., John Ashcroft, Giuliani, Ed Gillespie, Katherine Harris, that little bow-tied Tucker Carlson and any other right-wing conservative Republicans I can think of, and take them all on a trip to the hood.

Not to do no 30-minute documentary. I mean, I want to drop them off and leave them there, let them become one with the other side of the tracks, get them four mouths to feed and no welfare, have scare tactics run through them like a laxative, criticizing them for needing assistance.

Mr. Abbot quotes about 4 more paragraphs of the speech and that’s not all… AlterNet has the entire thing. Not only that, but Etan has a book of poetry.

William Life comments on True Hoop’s post:

The “victim mentality” doesn’t, hasn’t, and cannot work. The more he spreads this kind of helpless message, the less self-sufficient the people become.

Its just like spoiling children; the more you do for them, the less they are able to do for themselves.

A more productive message might be “Stop blaming others and starting blaming yourself.”

This may sound cold and in some ways it is but this is the only way a large community will improve. The old way (the “I’m a victim; you ow me way”) has not worked and it won’t.

Its my hope for messages like these become more results oriented so we can start seeing changes.

I post that because I kind of want to agree with it. But at the same time, I’m just happy that an athlete has put together so many damn words in a fashion that makes me as a writer jealous. I think Bill Cosby was giving speeches more along the lines of what Mr. Life wants Etan to say. I don’t really want to get into it, since there’s not a lot you can do to convince people to change their political beliefs. I think the point of Etan’s speech was probably more to draw the attention of minorities in the US to politics. Unfortunately, it’s probably just a bunch of upper-middle-class bloggers who’ve noticed.