Give Me The Rock

Said it. I’m all in for Miami. Chips are down.

Here’s the Truth:

No, sorry… I meant, here’s the truth:

I’m not a Dirkolator. I am not denying he’s a great basketball player, and I certainly don’t put him on a level approaching anywhere near that of the great Kobe “The Ass Clown” Bryantbardo. But would it be some form of suicide were His Dirkness to smile every once in a while? I’ll admit, as I frequently do, that I lack the capability to intake The League via a visual method for the majority of the regular season and during the playoffs. Thus, it is perfectly likely that Dirk smiles constantly when I’m not watching. They do say that a watched pot never boils. Perhaps when Dirk smokes that pot, he smiles regularly. I am not a Nowitzness to such events. (The previous argument, if it can be called such, applies almost solely to in-game facial expressions. There are several photographs readily available on these Internets in which you can nowitzness Dirk’s sparkling Crest Whitestrip smile. However, even these seem to be somewhat singularly out-of-game events, restricted to pre-season media headshots and Conference Championship press conferences and celebrations)

As an end result, I can’t create within myself any sort of fondness for the seven-footer. For all his brash behavior, I’m cool with Mark Cuban. I certainly admire what the Little General has done. But the Maverick team rests squarely on the shoulders of the tall German, and so my love for the Mavericks ends there. (I am not loathe to mention that the Mavs also have Dampier and Keith Van Horn - two players who have shot me in the foot in the fantasy arena on more than one occasion)

And with that segue to fantasy basketball… Dwyane Wade propped up my team this year (along with Gilbert Arenas) and so, my everlasting flame will continue to burn for him through at least the next two-point-five weeks. I feel confident that the Heat’s technical status as the Underdog in the series will make cheering for them all the more enjoyable. Now, if only my consciense can acquiesce to the fact that I will be forced to cheer when Alonzo “Not As Much of a Bitch as Vince Carter” Mourning does something positive for the Heat. It may be possible to do so knowing that he was part of the collective that turned a team many thought would be MiaME, into MiamWE.

Having now laid the cleverest of puns at your feet, I must put you on notice that The Basketball Joneses are going to be putting out a podcast following each of the upcoming NBA Finals games. A monumental task for what promises to be a monumental series.

We are all Wadenesses.

carnival #29 + nba comix: heat + nba comix: mavs + daily play hype