Give Me The Rock

On some level, it offends my sensibilities to let someone who appears to have honed their English skills listening to the Ying Yang Twins, Lil Jon, Yung Joc, and Chamillionaire write my fantasy team previews for me. On another level, Sven probably did hone much of his more than adequate English listening to such dynamic Hip Hop acts as those I just listed. You can see why he doesn’t always spell things perfectly. My point is, when Sven gets home from his road trip, I’m going to sit him down with some Aesop Rock, Illogic, Sage Francis, and maybe even some MF Doom to properly educate him. In the mean time, here is your Denver Nuggets preview, courtesy of sVendetta Offtheheezygaard.

–

Yo Nels,

What up?

I am here in the Mile High City of Denver. Too bad Carmelo Anthony is in Las Vegas - he is probably a mile high right now! Too bad - I wanted him to be my weed carrier! Oh well. Maybe I can find Marcus Camby. He may not be as good of weed carrier for me, but he will is good on my fantasy team! Holla! Shh. No one knows I am riding dirty. I hope the pigs don’t catch on to me.

Here are rankings from sheet you send me: (looks like JR smith is big upgrade from Dermarr Johnson - haha!):

(13) Marcus Camby
(26) Carmelo Anthony
(60) Andre Miller
(100) Kenyon Martin
(131) Earl Boykins
(173) Ruben Patterson
(189) Francisco Elson
(200) Eduardo Najera
(235) J.R. Smith
(243) Dermarr Johnson
(263) Reggie Evans
(339) Charles Smith
(377) Linas Kleiza
(443) Julius Hodge
(454) Nene

I hearing that Kenyon Martin will not be on the Nuggets next season, but he is still listed on their roster, so I keep him here. Hooray for #100! Three numbers! Way to go K-Mart! Too bad his brother Walter is not in NBA. Wal-Mart! Haha!

MARCUS COTTON CAMBY!!! He is riding dirty for sheezy! 56 games. Not bad for Mr. Glass. Even at #13, I still not sure if Camby is worth 2nd round pick. Who knows if he plays 72 games (only once) or 63 games (3 times) or 29 games (2 times). Even 63 games is good. But 29 games is big risk to take. I think maybe 3rd or 4th round. before I take him.

Stretch it out out out out Carmelo! Haha! Remember when I visit you in primary school and we eat Carmelos? That was kind of gross actually. But Carmelo Anthony is not gross! He is tight like the braids on his head. I think he maybe too busy shooting and forget to rebound. 48% though! I will take that! I think he will play again like last season - but maybe he will be a little bit of tired from the pre Olympics in Japan. Tough. He could be 2nd round, but definitely 3rd round.

Andre Miller always seems to be too high - not that kind dude! - on ratings. Or, at least in people’s mind’s ratings. His assists come back a little last year, but his points and free throw percent still not as good as one time in Cleveland. Get over it! That was 5 years ago! If you don’t get PG early, he is maybe worth 5th round pick. Other though, definitely 6th round.

Ok, I am already doing rounds and stuff, so let me just go to the draft part I write.

10 TEAM DRAFT
Camby - 3rd round (Maybe 2nd if you have lots of rabbits foot)
Carmelo - 3rd round (He is not 2nd round guy yet)
Andre Miller - 6th round (He might get better, so this would be a good place to pick him to get higher rating)
Kenyon Martin - 10th round (for now… he will probably be on another fantasy team preview somewhere else later)
Earl - Boykinds - 12th round (I don’t think he will be any better this year because he is still back up to Andre Miller)
Ruben Patterson - If he shoots free throws better, he could be good free agent pick up. But I would not draft him just to hope for that.
Nene (With No last name) - 80 -> 77 -> 55 -> 1. Maybe 1 is freak accident, but number of games going down is not good. Still, if he do 2003-04 or 2004-05 numbers, he will be pretty good choice for 9th or 10th round - if he can play FC. If only C, probably 10th round only.
Reggie Evans - Grabs balls! Not on my team!

Everyone else just wait for free agent.

So, that is the fantasy preview. I hope you like it.

Nels, too bad you did not come to Denver with me, or you could be my weed carrier while Carmelo is playing for USA. I better watch out in Utah. They going to see me riding dirty for sheezy.

Peace.

S is for Svendetta