Give Me The Rock
this is fantasy basketball
By laying off Guitar Hero. You heard me. True fantasy sports fans should put down the axe. If you are a Guitar Hero addict and you have an urge to play the game, just think of a wet Jessica Alba as a distraction. I mean, in the absence of Guitar Hero your wrist exercise/activity will have to come from elsewhere… like playing ping pong. Oh! You thought i was referencing, well nevermind. Hrmm, come to think of it, using ‘ping pong’ did not do a good job of differentiating, oh well.
Why mabeuf? Why this sudden tirade against Guitar Hero? Well readers, news arose today that the wrist injury suffered by Detroit Tigers’ flame-thrower Joel Zumaya, that kept him in the dugout for the ALCS, was a buildup of inflammation from playing too much Guitar Hero.
This ranks up there in terms of ridiculous sports injuries. I think this is worse than any injury that came before it though. The timing is just ridiculous.
Hey Joel, it is the ALCS perhaps you should watch some film of the other teams batters?
How about you make sure you have your control down so you do not walk two batters in the seventh of any upcoming games.
Practice throwing to the bases from the infield?
No?
Oh, you say you are perfect at turning double plays coming off the mound and always remember to turn to second, not third.
Well, all that is a relief, those sorts of mistakes could let a random team become the worst World Series Champions ever.
How do you find enough time to play Guitar Hero long enough to injure yourself when you are in the freaking playoffs of a professional sport? I work at a GameStop, do i need to warn people before they purchase the game?
In all seriousness though, putting down the simulant axe may be a little brash. I mean who does not like to crank out More Than a Feeling while playing the guitar behing your back, with the TV volume at full, while imagining a room full of attractive women or men checking you out? Hell, this game is so good when I put it down I simulate talking to one of the lusting female fans that watched my performance. I usual blow my chance with the imaginary woman somewhere around the line “my musical influences include Weird Al.” Well, on second thought you may want to lay off the axe if you are a Vladamir Radmanovic owner. That mysterious finger injury on his shooting hand is pretty odd. Guitar Hero II came out recently. Vlad does have the common college campus face on. You know, the face of a man pained by his inability to beat Cowboys From Hell on expert. But hey, it can’t be Guitar Hero… Can it?
The best part of this debacle so far, was watching Skip Bayless act like he had seen the video game controller before on Cold Pizza. No, i do not watch Cold Pizza, I got stuck on it between ESPN and Fox Soccer Channel. Skip Bayless is a tool, that is all.
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