Give Me The Rock
this is fantasy basketball
Well, I hope you had a Happy Hanukkah. Last night was the eighth and final night of the annual Jewish holiday. Aside from lighting the menorah I failed to partake in any serious celebrations, working 70 hours a week will cause one to forget about the holidays. Because of this busy schedule I am a week and one day late with this article, but i still present to you my State of Jews in the NBA Address.
In the past decade the NBA has become borderless. Dozens of cultures and countries are represented in the ever-dynamic NBA culture. A multitude of languages can be heard on the court, from countrymen Manu Ginobili and Fabricio Oberto talking in Spanish, to me learning Greek compliments of Vassilis Spanoulis at every Rockets home-game (‘Amenia’ is defense). Hell, DJ MBenga was born and raised in the Congo, has Belgian citizenship and can speak eight languages; not to mention never touched a basketball until age 19.
2006 was not a great year for Jewish culture in the United States. If the average American were asked what the most important moment for the Jewish faith was in the past year, Mel Gibson would probably come up. It’s never good when your year as a culture is remembered in the same breath as the phrase ‘Sugartits.’ Americans can also give an honorable mention to Sacha Baron Cohen and Borat the Movie, either way, it was not a landmark year. In the the realm of basketball Jews and the NBA lost the iconic Red Auerbach. Easily the greatest Jew to ever be involved in the game of basketball.
When Farmar suited up and played 13 minutes against the Suns on October 31st he ended an NBA culture drought. A Jewish player had not been on an NBA court since Danny Schayes, son of NBA Legend Dolph Schayes, last suited up for the Orlando Magic in the strike shortened season of 99. These seven years were the first time in NBA history that there were no Jewish players on rosters. That’s right, in those seven years the closest we came to having a Jew on the court was Bill Walton saying ‘watch as the lane parts like the Red Sea.’
Aside from Farmar, two Israeli players were drafted in the 2006 draft. Lior Eliyahu was drafted 44th by the Magic and traded to the Rockets, he has one year remaining on his contract before he can come stateside. Yotam Halperin was drafted 53rd by the Seattle SuperSonics, he failed to make the Sonics roster and his rights are still owned by the team. I can promise you i will talk more about both of these players in the future. I warn you, do not youtube either of those names, the videos are awful. Think picture slideshow to “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer.
“What this is supposed to be a surprise?”
Your sports knowledge has most likely muttered this. There are several decades of contemporary professional sports to back up the stereotype that Jews are not athletes. Not to mention the beginning of the movie Airplane (‘Stewardess, do you have any light reading?’ *Stewardess hands passenger Great Jewish Athletes*) . The best Jewish basketball player ever was Dolph Schayes and no contemporary NBA fan knows who he is. If an NBA commentator were to reference Dolph Schayes his co-anchors would make a chorus of atypical statements in agreement then change the subject (actually Stephen A. Smith would yell something like “Dolph! That’s my boy right there!). Dolph was selected to an All-NBA first or second team every year of his career but his last (6 All-First Teams) and made twelve straight All-Star Teams, every year but his rookie and final seasons. Dolph’s 24.9 PPG, 14.2 RPG and .904 FT% from 1958 would be welcome on your fantasy team. His stats were overshadowed by the legendary Bill Russell and Bob Pettit.
The NBA, despite it’s lackluster on court representation, actually has a significant delegation of Jews in it’s highly revered ownership circle. One third of NBA owners are Jewish…
Atlanta Hawks – Steve Belkin*
Chicago Bulls – Jerry Reinsdorf
Dallas Mavericks – Mark Cuban
Detroit Pistons – William Davidson
Houston Rockets – Leslie Alexander
LA Clippers – Donald Sterling
Miami Heat – Micky Arison
Milwaukee Bucks – Senator Herb Kohl
New Jersey Nets – Bruce Ratner
Washington Wizards – Abe Pollin
This list contains 12 NBA titles, a U.S. Senator, the most outspoken/entertaining owner ever and some unexpected cultural cohesion. Who would of thought that both incarnations of the Detroit Bad Boys were financed by an elderly Jewish man who just wanted to win. The same could be said for the unlikely business pairing of Jay Z and Harvard grad/real-estate mogul Bruce Ratner. This just goes to show that the NBA is destroying cultural boundaries even in the front office.
On top of this compiling of owners, the league’s big daddy himself can be found in Temple, David Stern. If i did not already know this and had to guess, I would say David Stern were a Catholic nun. The strict dress code, no tolerance for back talk, Stern fits the stereotypical role of movie Nun perfectly. I heard he was cast for each Sister Act movie, but was cut from the production because his portrayal of a Nun overshadowed all of Whoopi Goldberg’s terrible one line jokes.
So there you have it, the State of Jews in the NBA 2006-07. From NBA Commissioner to 10 owners to the Lakers rookie backup point guard with nothing but Lawrence Frank in between.
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Crazy Kwanzaa, now go fall asleep while the Heat play the Lakers on Christmas Day for the third consecutive year…. boring! Can’t we have the 76ers and Bobcats play, only the winner gets holiday pay for the game?
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