Give Me The Rock
this is fantasy basketball
I will preface this by saying that the starting line up you see is exactly the same as the last ballot that I cast. This ballot judged players on a rather casual fantasy basis. For example, I respect Mike Miller’s outstanding fantasy season thus far, but, I am not about to deem it all-star worthy. At the same time, this list is not like the Grammy’s, have you won an award before? Will your presence/nomination get more people to watch? Ok, your in. Face it Shaq fans, his election is just like Madonna getting three nominations for an album that came out in 2005; how the hell does that work? If you know how… don’t answer. Anyway, for the bench I followed NBA protocol, two guards, two forwards, a center and two utilities. Feel free to argue with me.
Starters
Steve Nash – Guard
The guy on the right can start also.
43G .536FG .876FT 112T’s 843PT 142RB 514AT 31ST 2B 159TO
Anyone else find it ridiculous that at this moment, I could propose a rule requiring the reigning MVP to be a starter in this game? He leads the league in assists… by 97… he has a .536FG%… he is a point guard in case you missed that… oh, he has that percentage with 226 three point attempts… with 112 connections, hrm, that is a 49.6% completion rate, this is all just the epitome of ridiculous. Oh, I forgot that he is the leading member of the most exciting offense since the 80’s and has a third consecutive MVP within arms reach.
Kobe Bryant – Guard
41G .471FG .856FT 65T’s 1165PT 221RB 226AT 49ST 17B 144TO
I am not a Kobe fan. I never have been. In fact the only thing I like about him is his endless supply of nicknames… Black Mamba is my personal favorite. Can I just say, I respect Kobe and his dominance, this is proof. Now what number will he wear in the All-Star game? Will he punch anyone that blocks him?
Dirk Nowitzki – Forward
44G .502FG .900FT 43T’s 1113PT 421RB 143AT 28ST 31B 93TO
I am an enormous Dirk fanboy. A poster of his has rested on my closet door for years. Half to show my dedication and half to mock every college guy that has a naked pinup in that location. It seems that he will forever suffer from KG and Timmy D’s dominance over the fans. Perhaps he could get a start if he won a title or an MVP, or saved some orphans from a fire, or converted to Scientology. Whatever the case he seems screwed, remember that Grant Hill started in 2005… fan loyalty lasts forever.
I think his numbers and leadership talk better than i could.
Kevin Garnett – Forward
43G .480FG .835FT 6T’s 984PT 535RB 183AT 60ST 81B 112TO
Again, numbers and leadership do more talking than I can. This atrocious Wolves team is around .500 because of the tireless efforts of this man. Hell, when I watch these games he seems so effortless. As a first time KG owner, I am tickled with his production but also torn. Because, it does not seem like he is applying himself like in previous seasons. Rather, he is just that damn good. Trying or not, KG easily waltzes into this lineup.
Marcus Camby – Center
37G .477FG .704FT 0T’s 448PT 455RB 109AT 34ST 111B 58TO
Remember the rules? I can not vote for Timmy as he is not center eligible on the ballot. Also, I won’t vote for Yao due to the injury, he gets an honorable mention bench spot. Both of these players aside, Camby is having an outstanding season. If I gave out the defensive player of the year award this would be my choice. Sure he is not an offensive stud like when he came into the league, but his defensive presence can not be ignored. Ten Nuggets games have ended with Camby dominating the block column for five or more blocks. Also, he has a staggering 13 games with 15+ rebound games. Don’t forget his broken finger set him back some games, so that is 1/3 of his games. Every third game he is grabbing 15 rebounds, period.
Amare Stoudemire is the consensus choice for this spot, but look at the numbers. Camby out performs Stoudemire in every category except for the percentiles and points. All this in eight less games. I think Stoudemire is dominant, but Camby is just having a stellar season and deserves to be on this team. It just so happens that he weaseled his way into my starting lineup because of rules and my unwillingness to vote Yao a starter due to injury. It should be noted that I did this despite being from Houston, it pained me.
The Bench
Tim Duncan – Center
46G .536FG .631FT 0T’s 937PT 488RB 160AT 34ST 107B 141TO
Ha! I worked him on as a center. Remember, on the coaches ballot you can assign a player any position you feel he can play. I have a feeling that every coach in the league except Pops would play Duncan at center. This is the biggest lie since George Michael’s heterosexuality. Seriously, how did the 80’s miss that one (no insult to Wham, I know all the lyrics to the song, you do also)? Wham! references aside (yes the ‘!’ is mandatory just like the lightening bolt in AC/DC) Tim Duncan is having another picturesque year. Just like KG, he is not trying his hardest, but who the hell has noticed? I predict Duncan will make the All-Star team every year of his career until they repaint the box on the backboard into a different shape. I wonder what Duncan’s shooting percentage would drop to if they changed that from a box to a trapezoid, or a pentagram, or a heartagram? Do i have to pay Bam Margera for making that joke?
Shawn Marion – Forward
45G .527FG .832FT 53T’s 851PT 454RB 74AT 96ST 65B 67TO
The Matrix is the perfect nickname. His statistics defy reality. I watched all the Suns games that have been on national TV recently, as always Shawn Marion was invisible the whole game. Dunk here, loose ball tip there, three from the corner perhaps a block, he never does anything to monopolize your attention. The announcers have finally noticed this, if I hear Hubie Brown say “remember Marion does all this without having any plays run for him all game,” one more time, I will probably cry with joy. Hubie Brown, hands down the best announcer, can I put him on the All Star team? The Wachowski brothers should be paying Marion for restoring honor to his nickname after they left it in sequel shambles (I actually like those movies, but public opinion rules). The last thing I have to say about Marion, Sean and I watched a Suns game awhile back and took a drink for every dribble Marion took. Well next time we do this, we will get some heavy liquor, eight drinks… all game. I was more sober after the game than before.
Carlos Boozer – Forward
45G .569FG .697FT 0T’s 995PT 531RB 137AT 41ST 13B 121TO
22.1 and 11.8. There is no reason aside from rampant hereditary alcoholism to not love Carlos Boozer. A perpetually injured player finally playing to his potential… wait 13 blocks is his full potential? I am ready to anoint the Alaskan born beast as the best true power forward in the West. Sure, TD, KG, Dirk are all good, but there is a constant ambiguous debate about their positions. You know just by looking at him what position he plays. Carlos Boozer puts on Charles Barkley’s shoes then goes to work. Not only is Boozer having the best year of his career. But his resurgence has put a well known Russian All Star and teammate in the dog house. Don’t think for a second that there is not a correspondence between Boozer’s rise and AK-47’s demise.
Allen Iverson – Guard
34G .435FG .851FT 32T’s 982PT 93RB 256AT 71ST 6B 148TO
I have been down with interleague/conference All Stars ever since that time Carlos Beltran was traded to the Astros right before the All Star game. So I can get behind this selection. If there is any doubt, he is proving how good he is with his increasing assist numbers. Amazing, he may actually be better when he has a decent amount of talent around him.
Tracy McGrady – Guard
Memories *swoon*
36G .441FG .683FT 63T’s 842PT 196RB 224AT 39ST 20B 112TO
The time that he missed hurts him a lot. If he does not miss that time then he is a starter for sure. 23.4, 5.4 and 6.2. Tracy has undergone an evolution this season. The last two weeks we have seen the Tracy of old. Capable of taking over a game and willing his team to victory. However, earlier in the season we saw the new McGrady, the gentle Tracy who passed first. T-Mac already has 4 games with ten dimes, the previous two season saw him net five games of 10 or more dimes total. Right here there are some sentiments in play. The Rockets are playing the best defensive basketball in the league and deserve to have an All Star for playing as well as they have without T-Mac and Yao for time. All this while manning up for the toughest schedule in the league.
Josh Howard – Utility
37G .454FG .831FT 55T’s 719PT 265RB 72AT 45ST 36B 65TO
Ok, I am riding the bandwagon on this one. The Mavs deserve a second All Star for their league leading record. After last year, that is an All Star game rule. If you can not put the entire starting lineup of the leagues best team into the All Star game then you have to put at least two guys there. Jason Terry is having a good year also, but Josh Howard has shown more all around game and growth. We remember the Jet reaching these heights, it is more fun from a spectators position to watch Josh Howard achieve this. If Dirk could run for President, this would be his running mate.
Amare Stoudemire – Utility
45G .604FG .773FT 0T’s 837PT 401RB 27AT 32ST 63B 109TO
Two knee surgeries later Amare deserves to be in Las Vegas. While he is no longer an instant Hall of Fame candidate, he is back to his old tricks. I will admit again that sentiments are at play here. Everyone including myself wants Amare to get back on the horse. Also, we want to run three Suns out on the court at the same time and see if they create havoc against the East. Will Kobe play with them or is he still bitter about the playoffs?
I just want to highlight that if injuries had not taken them down I would have Yao Ming and the forgotten about Rashard Lewis on this team.
Feel free to debate my picks in the forum.
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