Give Me The Rock
this is fantasy basketball
or: Things to do in the off-season, when it’s not the off-season and you’re really just waiting for the Bulls to play in their first Eastern Conference Semifinal game since the Jordan Era
I’ve been meaning to post about this since I first went to Homecoming at my wife’s high school about 3 years, but never has it actually held me interest long enough to get home and post about it. But last night, I went to my wife’s high school’s Spring Fling.
Raise your hand if you now think my wife is in high school. Now slap yourself with that hand. She’s a teacher, stupid.
When we go to dances at said high school (with the exclusion of Prom, since the boys and girls usually tend to actually cover their bodies for that one), I take note of what jerseys the students are wearing. Yes, it’s a Chicago high school and students wear jerseys of professional athletes to school dances. If it helps, the dances are in the gym, so they could theoretically just be ready to get their game on at a moment’s notice.
Usually, the jerseys are plentiful and surprisingly varied. The predominant sport represented is basketball – which causes me no small amount of happYness. I’ve seen everything from McAdoo to Kobe to LeBron, and even some Bulls jerseys – would you believe?!?
Last night was an aberration in two respects:
Usually, when a student is wearing a jersey to a dance, I assume they at least know something about basketball and what is going on in the league in general. I also assume that if someone is – as they were last night, for example – wearing an Allen Iverson 76ers jersey, that either they couldn’t afford a new jersey (those things are pretty damn expensive), or that I’m just not cool enough to understand that as soon as a player gets traded, his old jersey becomes an official throwback, thus making it cool – possibly even cooler – to wear. [As in, "I've been down with Iverson since he was on the 76ers." Which does in some way make sense to me in the same way that "I've been down with Jordan since he played for UNC" does. Of course, the "I've been down with Jordan since he played for UNC which was before I was even born" argument holds slightly less sway.]
But last night, oh last night, I’m sorry. One of the only four jerseys present at the Spring Fling dance was that of a one Mr. Jason “JET” Terry.
Yes indeed. I’d spent at least an hour yesterday reading and watching clips of the Gully State Warriors taking out the Mavericks in six games and then someone rolls in with a Jason Terry jersey. Just to make sure we’re all on the same page, this was not an Atlanta Hawks Jason Terry jersey (but those might still be available at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx). This was not an Aguirre, Blackman, Harper, Perkins, Tarpley era throwback with Jason Terry’s name and number on it. No, it was a Cuban, Nowitzki, Howard, Stackhouse, Terry era Jason Terry jersey.
My wife (who, bless her heart, recognized the significance of the Warriors toppling the Mavericks) asked the student what was up with that? His reply was something along the lines of “I gotta represent.”
No, boy. You gotta put that jersey in the back of your closet and keep it nice and clean and white for when the Mavericks season starts again in October.
Aight, I haven’t played video games in so long I think I might have forgotten my GamerTag. I’m out.
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