Give Me The Rock

Yes, there have been other days when the Celtics beat the Knicks. And there will probably be more days when the Celtics beat the Knicks. But probably not many more that will top the drubbing the Knicks took last night.

Line of the Night: Baron Davis (6.35) had to actually play in his game, so he gets the A for effort. 27 points, 8 assists, and 5 steals (it’s always the big steals and blocks that get people high on the fantasy ratings).

Honorable Mentions: Paul Pierce (5.20) had 21 points in 29 minutes off of 4 three pointers and added 8 rebounds, 4 assists and 2 steals. Garnett (4.46) was also in the top 10, and Ray Allen (4.22) was 11. None of The Big Three played more than 30 minutes, so that should tell you a lot about efficiency as it relates to fantasy basketball.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Eddie Hizzouse (5.01) missed his only 2 shots inside the arc, but he made 5 of them from outside, and also had 3 steals to add some juice to his fantasy rating. Too bad for him the Celtics don’t play the Knicks every night.

Rise With Us: Linus Kleiza (3.41) has put together 2 good games in a row. Luis Scola has 9 and 9 with 2 steals and a block… but some “fantasy expert” in your league probably already has him. Steve Francis put in another decent Waiver Wire type of game. He’s doing everything except scoring…

Goat of the Night: Zach Randolph (1.34) and his 1/10 in only 18 minutes just edged out Eddy Curry (1.39) and his 2/11 (in 22 minutes). At least Marbury (1.56) only took 6 shots. Curry had an assist, which I guess is worth more than Randolph’s 2/2 from the line.

This Celtics/Knicks game tonight is great. First, it’s on TNT with the sublime Marv Albert doing play by play - his voice just makes me want to sodomize someone. In a good way. Second, the Celtics are legitimately sodomizing the Knicks. Pierce just hit a three seconds ago to put the Celtics up 65 to 31 in the third quarter. The Knicks look horrible, Stephon Marbury and Quentin Richardson are throwing up airballs, KG is forcing his will in the paint, and Ray Allen is just toying with the Knicks D. Third, TNT just showed a quick shot of Donny Wahlberg sitting in the front row. Screw Jack Nicholson, When a Wahlberg shows up to one of your games, you know your team has made it.

Unfortunately, I have Marbury on a couple of my fantasy teams, which has put me in the dreaded position of rooting against my team in certain spots. Although at this point I just hope Marbury goes to the bench and sits out the rest of the game so he doesn’t cause my team any more harm. I think we’ve just hit that point in the game.

UPDATE: In the time it took me to write this post, the Celtics have increased their lead to 82-37. It’s gotten to the point where this Onion article - Fire Isiah Chant Breaks Out During Knicks’ Front-Office Meeting - may have actually happened.

I’ll end with a great quote from Charles Barkley during the game, “his [Isiah’s] job is as safe as me in a room full of cookies. The cookies have no damn chance.”

Rondo’s got this one under control

Line of the Night: Stephen Jackson (5.27) had 5 steals and 3 threes last night. His other stats weren’t all the great (in fact, Shawn Marion [5.72] and Dwight Howard [5.43] technically had better nights), but sometimes you have to root for the underdogs. The Matrix and Not Sure What His Nickname Is will have plenty of time to continue making fantasy fantasies happen. S-Jax is having a career year so far, and has either reached the zenith of said career, or will continue to roll for as long as the Nellieball Warriors remain in their current configuration/incarnation.

Honorable Mentions: The aforementioned Shawn Marion and Dwight Howard were both awesome last night. But that’s what we expect of them. Josh Smith blocked 5 shots. What else is new? Yao Ming dominated some more. Yup. Anthony Parker and Tony Parker were both in the Top 11.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Steve Francis (3.75) played 27 minutes for the Rockets last night, and even though he only had 9 points, he shot 50% from the field, had a three-pointer, and added 7 assists, 3 rebounds, 2 steals, and 2 blocks. I wonder if that picture on NBA.com is from this season…

Rise With Us (aka Other Guys Who Might Be Available): Wally Szczerbiak (3.74) was right behind Franchise with 20 points and 4 threes. Yeah, and 6/20 from the field. Are you willing to give up the FG% for the points? Carlos Delfino, on the other hand, was 6/8 for 14 points with 7 rebounds. Ronnie Brewer continues to tease with 6/9 and 7/10 for 19 points with 3 rebs, 3 assists, and 3 steals.

Goat of the Night: I’m tempted to go with LeBron James (1.72) since it’d be about the only time this year when he could possibly be the GotN. That said, he did get injured and only played 15 minutes, so it’s probably not fair. I’m also tempted to select Kelenna Azubuike (have to double check that name every time), but he was just up in here…

How about Josh Howard (2.03)? 5/17 is not a good percentage from anywhere. 2/4 from the line is also not so good. 3 rebounds and 2 assists is not enough for someone who’s currently at 25 on the Player Rater.

I’m throwing in this picture to test our new uploading process, and because it’s funny. I’m sure there’s a ton of people on Digg who are searching for nude pictures of Dwyane Wade.

If you hadn’t already heard, The Big Lead lets you know that Marko Jaric is dating Adriana Lima.

Yup, that one.

Also, this one:

And this one:

Now imagine if she had a twin and you were a tall, “sensitive” (according to Patrick), European with a HUGE

basketball contract:

I really just wanted to post this cause I thought the title was clever.

Line of the Night: Normally this would go to LeBron James (6.08), but he only had 4 rebounds and shot 11/25, and really, how many times is Anthony Carter (4.76) going to get the line of the night? Well, if he keeps up the 5 steals a game thing, probably a lot more than anyone would think. Add that to the 6 assists, and 8 rebounds, with 7/12 shooting and you’ve got a good contribution.

Honorable mentions: LeBron was 1.32 points ahead of Carter, who was second overall last night. Jamaal Tinsley (4.61) had 11 assists and 8 rebounds. Ricky Davis continued to turn them out with 3 threes, 6 rebounds and 7 assists.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: That distinction probably goes to Anthony Carter as well. But other guys to look at: The Other Shawne Williams (3.62) and Earl Watson (3.58).

Goat of the Night: Kirk Hinrich (1.33) got in foul trouble early last night, which seems to have been happening a lot this season. Scott Skiles never leaves him in, and frankly, I would start leaving him in and just letting him continue to play until he fouls out. He never seems to get his rhythm back after sitting early, so it seems to be a strategy that isn’t working.

Line of the Night: Caron Butler (6.5). Who needs Agent Zero when you’ve got Agent err… Three, I guess. Butler went off for 35 on 13 for 17 shooting, was perfect from the free throw line, had 5 threes, 8 rebounds, a couple steals, and a partridge in a pear tree.*

Honorable Mentions: Chris Paul (6.0) - 31 points, 11 assists, 4 steals - that is a good night’s work; Tracy McGrady (5.6) - 36/8/6 – that’s an equally good night’s work; what happened to the supposed end of Stephon Marbury (5.2) with the Knicks? He’s back to playing 37 minutes a game already; Brad Miller (5.2) finally acted like a real center and grabbed 10 boards; it’s tough to be Dirk Nowitzki (5.1), he scored 31 and was 11 for 11 from the line, but the Mavs still lost.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Beno Udrih (5.0) - arguably the best Slovenian born player in the NBA today - makes his second appearance on the waiver wire line of the night this season, which is an indication that he should be picked up in most leagues until Bibby returns. Udrih scored 27 on 8 for 12 shooting and was 9 for 9 from the line. We appreciate that kind of scoring efficiency here at GMTR.

In small leagues, Matt Barnes (4.8) returned from a five game absence and hit the ground running. He started last night and played 35 minutes, scoring 8 points and adding 7 rebounds and 7 assists. Barnes’ return pushed Al Harrington to center and Andris Biedrins to the bench. Biedrins was the loser in all of this as he only managed 13 minutes in last night’s game.

Goat of the Night: Jason Terry (1.8). Unless your name is Michael Jordan, bad nights occasionally happen. This one happed to Terry, who was 1 of 9 shooting (1 of 6 for three) and scored a season low 3 points in the Mavs loss.

Dishonorable Mentions: With Bevin Knight out and Sam Cassell leaving yesterday’s game with a strained calf, the Clippers turned to option #3, Dan Dickau (1.3). Dickau was nice enough to answer everyone’s question about whether they should pick him up off waivers by playing crappy right out of the gate. He finished with 5 points (2 for 9 shooting) and 2 assists in 31 minutes.

* Also known as a blocked shot where I come from

Line of the Night: I’m bucking trend here and selecting Carlos Boozer (4.7) over Kobe Bryant (5.3) and LeBron James (5.3). The GMTR club only has a couple rules, but one of them is when a man hits 17 of 20 shots in a game, you give him the line of the night award. That shooting performance led Boozer to 36 points. He also pulled in 11 rebounds as the Jazz beat the Pistons 103 to 93.

Honorable Mentions: Kobe scored 31, had 4 steals and was 15 of 16 from the line; LeBron had one of those sissy triple-doubles (30/11/10) where he barely manages 10 assists - come on Lebron, even Ricky Davis can get one of those; Deron Williams (4.7) went for 21 points and 14 assists. He also blocked three shots. Maybe Williams can give Boozer a shot-blocking lesson or two.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Jamario Moon (4.6). Here’s how out of nowhere Jamario Moon came from. A couple of weeks ago in the CBS Sports 30-man league, someone actually had to ask the commissioner to add Moon to the list of available free agents so he could be picked up. Now he’s scoring 15 points and blocking 6 shots while playing 36 minutes for the Raptors.
Jorge Garbajosa could be on his way to season ending surgery, so Jason Kapono is the only thing standing in the way of consistently big minutes for Moon. He’s still a lot inconsistent for my taste, but Moon has improved since the start of the season and is getting the minutes, so he may be worth taking a flyer on in deeper leagues or leagues with a lot of bench spots.

Jose Calderon (4.6) is probably no longer available on waivers, but he had his best game yet starting in place of an injured T.J. Ford. Calderon scored 19 points and added 14 assists as the Raptors beat the Bulls.

Goat of the Night: I try to only select players here who at least have a moderate impact on fantasy teams, but Vladimir Radmanovic’s (0.7) performance was so horribly bad, it trumps all else. He was 0 for 10 from the field (0 for 7 from beyond the arc) and finished with 1 point, 0 rebounds, 2 assists, and 3 turnovers. And all that in just 24 minutes of play.

Dishonorable Mentions: Between sitting out games and these 1 for 10 shooting performances, Troy Murphy (1.3) has to be killing fantasy owners this year. He’s all over the place in his game-to-game performance; Damien Wilkins (1.5) scored 2 points in 25 minutes; is a Ben Wallace (1.8) who doesn’t rebound or block shots actually a Ben Wallace?