Give Me The Rock

What were the Lakers thinking by breaking out the old school 80’s shorts last night? I understand the tribute to Jerry West thing, but they really thought it’d be a good idea to wear tight, constricting short-shorts in an actual professional basketball game in the year 2007?

Copyright 2007 NBAE (Photo by Noah Graham/NBAE via Getty Images)

Sorry for that image fellas. Tight shorts + Andrew Bynum = bad idea. To make up for it, here are some short-shorts that actually belong on the person wearing them.

Quote of the Night: “I don’t know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half. I felt violated. I felt naked. It’s one thing to see films with guys wearing those things. … I’d rather stay warm, man.”
-Kobe Bryant (pretending he doesn’t know what it’s like to wear a thong)

Line of the Night: Paul Pierce (6.0). The power of the short-shorts was no match for Pierce and his ball flapping knee lengths. Pierce led Boston with 33 points and chipped in 8 rebounds, 4 threes and 4 steals. He’s now averaging 21.6 points a game on the year, a decrease of about 3.5 from last season.

Honorable Mentions: Kevin Garnett (5.4) was also comfortable and it led to a line of 22/12/6 with 3 blocks. He shot 9-13 on the night; Baron Davis (5.2) had 28 points, 8 assists and 3 steals; we haven’t seen much of Shawn Marion (5.0) on these rundowns, but he checks in with a team leading 25 points to let us know that he’s still alive and playing for the Suns; Tim Duncan (5.0) goes for an impressive 24/17/7 with three blocks.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Our good friend Francisco Garcia (4.7) is back. Ron Artest has missed the Kings past two games with some bone chips in his elbow. Word is now that he might go under the knife to get it resolved. This leaves both Garcia, who scored 30 against the Suns yesterday, and John Salmons (4.2), who scored 23, as the team’s “featured” scorers. While the Kings aren’t all that good, they’ve been pumping out the useful fantasy guys so far this season.

Nate Robinson (4.5) started his first game at point for New York since Stephon Marbury left the team and responded with 19 points, 5 assists and 3 steals in 40 minutes. Ride him while he’s hot if you need the PG help.

Goat of the Night: Nene (1.3). I like how CBS Sports lists Nene Hilario as “Nene.” Doesn’t that violate some kind of code of professionality or something? And what has Nene done to deserve the single name? Sure, Nene sounds cool, but so do a lot of other names. You don’t hear Deji Akindele sporting the “Deji.” Anyway, Nene had his worst game since returning from a thumb injury three games ago. He finished with 1 point in 17 minutes, shooting 0-5 from the field and 1-4 from the line. There was one sign of encouragement, though: Nene did have 8 rebounds.

Dishonorable Mentions: Louis Williams (2.0) shot 3-14; Boris Diaw (2.1) was 2-10; and Quincy Douby (1.9) was 2-10; Renaldo Balkman (1.1) played 11 minutes and missed all 4 shots he took. His final line: 0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, and 2 turnovers.

And finally, a happy New Year to everyone! New Years is overrated as a holiday (does anyone actual feel any different at 12:00 AM versus 60 seconds before), but I appreciate any holiday/event that gives me an excuse to get totally piss ass drunk.

Quote of the Night: “One positive point about tonight’s game is that this is the last game of 2007.”
-Pat Riley

Line of the Night: Jason Richardson (5.4). I mildly hate Jason Richardson for no reason other than the fact that he always ends up on my fantasy teams and I’m always disappointed with his game. I’m not sure what I’m expecting from him, but he leaves me feeling empty. It’s probably the same feeling the Bobcats have after signing him to be their leading scoring threat and then watching him average 18 points a game this season. It’s not a disaster, but it leaves a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Anyway, last night Richardson did right by scoring 34, adding 4 threes and 8 rebounds. He was also 8 for 8 from the line. The point totals from his last four games are 30, 27, 25, and 34. If he can keep it up for a few more years, I may consider taking him off my list of hate.

Honorable Mentions: Second day in a row on this list for my favorite Turkish player, Hidayet Turkoglu (5.0), who scored 28 and hit 4 threes; Mo Williams (4.6) was 8-12 from the field and finished with a line of 24/5/6; Michael Redd (4.4) scored 35 and was 10 of 12 from the line; David West (4.3) had a 27/15 line; Chris Paul (4.3) only went for 20 and 9 assists, but compensated for it with 7 steals.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: The numbers tell us it was Erick Dampier (3.9) with his first double-double of the year (12 points and 10 rebounds) in 33 minutes of action against the Hawks. On the plus side, he’s averaged about 30 minutes a game over the past week. On the minus, he’s Erick freaking Dampier and his 12 points came on 6 for 6 shooting (which is great if he can make every shot he takes every game). Don’t fall for the seductive lure follows Erick Dampier whenever he goes. Leave him out there.

The Miami Heat/New York Knicks Take It With a Grain of Salt Line of the Night: Hey it’s Roger Mason (3.9). I believe we met a couple days ago. Antonio Daniels is not back yet (although according to my sources, he participated in the teams shoot arounds this week and will likely return when the Wizards play on Wednesday). Daniels absence left Mason to play 35 minutes as the Wizards blew out the Heat (96-74). Mason finished with a respectable 12 points, 5 assists, and 4 steals. Another benefactor of the Miami game was Andray Blatche – last seen disappearing into the mist after a promising stretch of games – with 18 points, 7 rebounds and 3 blocks in 24 minutes off the Wizards bench.

Goat of the Night: Larry Hughes (1.3). Remember when Larry Hughes was good and then the Cleveland Caviliers signed him to a big 5 year contract because they thought he was going to be the Scottie Pippen or something to Lebron James’ Michael Jordan? Huh? Do you remember? Yeah, that didn’t work out so good for the Cavs.

Dishonorable Mentions: Jeff Foster (1.5). Was I hallucinating, or did Foster have a brief run of fantasy usefulness earlier in the season? Then he and Troy Murphy had a battle attrition to see who could win the starting job by doing the least amount of work. Troy Murphy is tough to beat in that game. As a result, Foster has been relegated to light bench duty. His latest line included a 0 point and 5 rebound performance in 11 minutes.

If you’re a fan of pretty white boys (and be honest - who isn’t), than you may be interested in the big trade that went down earlier today. Kyle Korver was traded to Utah for Gordan Giricek (and his expiring contract) and a protected first-round pick. Not much going on with the trade fantasy wise, but if you’re really interested in the trade, Todd Allen of Indignant Sports thoroughly breaks down the whole deal. In my humble opinion, Korver might see a slight up tick in minutes and value on the Jazz and nice fills the Jeff Hornacek role that’s been missing in Utah since 2000.

Here’s a video heavy NBA.com recap of the Year that was 2007, compiled into a bunch of top 10 lists. The Top 10 Big-Men assists may have been stretching the top 10 idea, but I’m down with the top 10 facial dunks. They also has a bunch of photo recaps of the year 2007, including the top 10 dance team photos of the year.

Nurse, I have a problem that I’d like you to look at. There’s something stiff in my pants.

Bill Baptist, NBAE/Getty Images

I also learned today that NBA.com sells their photos online. So it’s only 10 bucks for an 8 by 10 photo of the Sonics flying Squatch? Damn, I wish I had known that before Christmas.

Pradamaster breaks down Caron Butler on Bullets Forever using numbers and statistics and makes an interesting argument that Butler should model at least one part of his game after Gilbert Arenas.

Fantasy Basketblog has the full rundown of the Bulls sans Scott Skiles and what we can expect from them in the world of fantasy going forward.

Dropping Dimes has their weekly positional rankings up for week 10. I like that Big Al Jefferson is the top ranked center for the upcoming week.

Fantapedia has a new post up about finding rebounders for your fantasy team at this point in the season. Kurt Thomas makes an appearance, which is always a recipe for a party in my book.

Faketeams discusses a few players trending up and a few going down in the fantasy basketball world.

If, like me, you happen to be interested in the business aspect of the NBA, Bradford Doolittle has an interesting article up on Basketball Prospectus about the background of every current GM in the league. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised me, but I really was shocked that so many GM’s are former players.

Finally, I couldn’t resist posting about this commercial feauturing Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry pimping Hyundais. There is something strangely mesmerizing about listening to Dirk talk about a Hyundai.

Line of the Night: Dwyane Wade (5.9). I’m not sure how someone who scores 48 points also has 11 assists, but it’s an indication that Miami’s offense only exists because Dwyane Wade makes it so. 20 of Wade’s points came in the fourth quarter, but the Heat still lost to the Magic in OT, dropping their record to an Eastern Conference worst 8-22 (yes, worse than New York). As a Wade owner in a couple leagues, the thing that worries me the most is that he went to the line an amazing 23 times again last night. Take it easy man I’m going to need you in March.

Honorable Mentions: Kobe Bryant (5.7) hit 6 threes on his way to 31 points in a Lakers rout; Baron Davis (5.2) went for 29 points and 13 assists; Richard Hamilton (5.0) primarily makes this list because of his 9 assists and 4 steals; Jason Kidd (4.8) finished with 20/8/12 – what no triple double? I’m disappointed in you Jason. Hedo Turkoglu (4.8) was the poor man’s Kobe last night, hitting 4 threes on the way to 22 points.

The Double-Mint Double-Bubble Double-Dribble Double your Fun Double-Double Club: I’ve got to take a second to mention both Dwight Howard (4.0), whose latest double-double consisted of 29 points and 21 rebounds and Chris Kaman (3.6) who went for 22 points and 20 rebounds.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Shane Battier (4.0) is probably available in quite a few leagues. Hell, I just dropped him last week. I know Battier’s bread and butter is defense and intangibles, but the guy has to score a little to be useful in fantasy (and with McGrady out again, he has to score to be useful to the Rockets as well). It’s not going to get anyone to forget about McGrady, but Battier scored a decent 18 points last night on 6-9 shooting. Luis Scola (3.3) with 22 points on 11 of 17 shooting, also picked up some of the scoring in McGrady’s absence.

Looking Deeper: Dorell Wright (3.9). With high priced prostitute Jason Williams sitting out of the game with an injury, Wade shifted to the point and Ricky Davis to the 2, leaving Wright to start at the 3. He responded with 14 points, 6 rebounds, 3 steals and 3 blocks in 42 minutes. Wade as PG seems like a short term solution, so Wright will likely go back to sharing time with Davis very soon.

And it’s already been a roller coaster ride of a season for Sean Williams (3.8), who latest line included 14 points, 10 rebounds and 5 blocks in 34 minutes of play. Just give the man consistent minutes already. I don’t hear anyone asking for more Malik Allen.

Goat of the Night: Quinton Ross (1.3). Ok. Nobody’s starting Quinton Ross in their fantasy league, but I’m calling him out anyway. The dude got the start over Cuttino Mobley, playing 32 minutes, and finished with 2 points, 2 rebounds and 0 assists.

Dishonorable Mentions: For someone who actually has an effect on fantasy teams, Raymond Felton (1.6) was 2 of 10 from the field yesterday, scoring 4 points with 4 assists in 30 minutes.

Not every sporting event is a historic clash of titans whose results will be scribed into the annals of time. Not everything can be the greatest, or historic, or sometimes even memorable. I’m afraid this was one of those nights. This is not a night we’ll be remembering at the end of the season. But don’t worry, 60% of the time I give 100% effort on these posts.

Line of the Night: Since there were two performances well above the rest last night, this one’s a tie. Amare Stoudemire (5.4) had 30 points, 15 rebounds and 4 blocked shots as he led the Suns past the Clippers 108-88. Paul Pierce (5.4) was the only one of the big three who got it going against Seattle, scoring 37 (10-11 from the line) with 6 rebounds, 4 assists and 5 threes as the Celtics topped the Sonics 104-96. Interesting fact of the day: Boston, with 24 wins, has now matched their win total from all of last season.

Honorable Mentions: The rest of the lines weren’t anything I’d write to my moms about. LeBron James (4.1) had a nice looking 24/8/7, but was only 9 of 21 from the field and 5-10 from the line; Kevin Garnett (4.0) went for 23 and 14 on 8 for 22 shooting; Kevin Durant (3.9) scored 25; and Dirk Nowitzki (3.6) had 20 rebounds (along with 19 points).

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Kurt Thomas (3.9). We are severely lacking an interesting waiver wire guy today, so 35 year old Kurt Thomas? Why not? Thomas only scored 7 points, but had a season high 14 rebounds and 4 blocks to go along with it. While I’d be nervous relying on him in any consistent fashion, he’s currently starting for the Sonics over Nick Collison and seeing his minutes steadily increase into the high 20’s a game.

Delonte West (3.6), in his second game back from injury, played 25 minutes against his former team, scoring 19 and adding 8 assists. I would consider adding West, who could be a decent low upside add if you’re looking for a guard who can do a little bit of everything.

Goat of the Night: The Cleveland Cavaliers’ power forwards. Drew Gooden (1.7) hit 2 of the 11 shots he took on the night. Anderson Varejao (1.5) only missed 2 shots (out of 3) scoring 2 points with 6 rebounds and 0 assists. The game recap says that Gooden drew a lot of praise for keeping Dirk in check all night. Sure. Way to keep a guy with an injured wrist and groin to 20 rebounds. Next time I’m looking for a raise, I’m going to tell the boss that I deserve it because at least I didn’t take a crap in his office this year.

Dishonorable Mentions: Finally, it doesn’t affect many people fantasy wise, but Scot Pollard’s (1.2) only stat was a single turnover in 14 minutes off the bench for the Celtics. That’s a lot of time to be running up and down the court without anything to do besides looking like a bad ass Cro-Magnon.

Memphis just doesn’t realize it.

Line of the Night: Chris Paul (6.8). While his game score is not quite as dominating as Kobe’s performance the other night, Chris Paul’s line towers above the competition: 40 points on 17 of 25 shooting, 5 threes, 5 rebounds, 9 assists, and 5 steals as the Hornets whooped the Grizzlies 116 to 98. Paul is now averaging 37 points a game against Memphis this season and 20 against everyone else.

Honorable Mentions: Marcus Camby (4.4) gets some GMTR love for pulling a triple double the hard way. 10 points, 11 rebounds, and 10 blocks! You won’t be seeing LeBron or Jason Kidd doing that; Gerald Wallace (4.6) scored 32 with 9 rebounds, 8 assists, and 6 threes. Hedo Turkoglu (4.8) had 26 with 3 threes, and according to my calculator, shot 66.6666667% on the night.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Roger Mason (4.7). Give me a second here. Hmmm. Roger Mason. Roger. Mason. Nope, I have no idea who he is. This is embarrassing.

Alright, according to various informational sources, Mason is a 6-5 guard who has been in the league for parts of 4 seasons going back to 2002. He is currently with the Wizards and thanks to injuries to both Gilbert Arenas and Antonio Daniels, he’s starting at the point for the Wizards. Yesterday’s Washington/Charlotte match up featured 46 minutes of Mason, who used all that time to score 24 points off 6 threes and 9 for 16 shooting. He also added 5 rebounds and 5 assists. It’s his second decent game in a row as well as his second game going 40+ minutes, however, his role is likely to be short lived as Daniels is expected back sometime next week.

Goat of the Night: I’ve added a keyboard shortcut to help me write this section: ALT + E + C + SUCK automatically adds Eddy Curry’s (1.4) name here. His latest line included a start where he played a total of 5 minutes, and not because of injury. Give it up to Isiah Thomas, just when you think you’ve seen everything, he pulls something totally new out of his sleeve. I’ll plan to lay off Curry in future GotNs, not because I feel bad for him, but because he doesn’t have any fantasy value rat the moment.

Dishonorable Mentions: There were a bunch of horrible shooting performances on the night as well: Jason Terry (1.5) was 0 for 10 from the field; Andres Nocioni (1.5) was 1 for 11; Kelenna Azubuike (1.8) was 1 of 8; Bobby Simmons (1.8) took advantage of his first start by shooting 1 of 7; Danny Granger (1.8) was 3 of 10; Yi Jianlian was 2 of 11; Michael Redd (2.2) was 1 of 8; and Brad Miller (2.3) was 2 of 11. I’m sure I’m missing someone, so please comment about anyone else who killed your fantasy team with their shooting percentage last night.

Line of the Night: Steve Nash (5.93) led the way last night with 24 points, 14 assists, 5 three-pointers, and 3 steals. But it wasn’t enough to pull out the win for the Suns. Kobe for MVP?

Honorable mentions: The Lakers beat the Suns by taking the number 2 and 3 spots on the fantasy rating chart. Kobe Bryant (5.34) had 38 on 12/20 and 13/14, and Andrew Bynum (4.98) had 28 and 12 on 11/13 and 6/8. I believe that is what we call a breakout game.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: He may or may not be available depending on your league, but Derek Fisher (3.64) had 19 points and 6 assists yesterday.

Rise With Us: Trevor Ariza (3.50) was not too bad, and Daniel Gibson (3.47) has put together a few good games in a row now.

Goat of the Night: LaMarcus Aldridge’s (1.17) Blazers got their 11th straight win despite his 1/10 shooting from the field. He also went 0/2 from the line.

Dishonorable Mentions: By now, our expectations have been lowered for Boris Diaw (1.53), but 3/9 and 2/4 with 2 turnovers is pretty GotN worthy.