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Obvious Quote of the Night: “He’s just a powerful player with great speed and great feel, and that’s tough to teach.”
- East coach Doc Rivers about LeBron James
A couple days ago, I broke down the rookie/sophomore game, and with still nothing better to do (man, I need to move back to a city again), let’s roll on with the actual All-Star Game. I will admit that I watched the game while browsing for porn on my laptop. And until the last couple minutes, the porn was winning out.
Line of the Night: Unlike the Rook/Soph game, the MVP of this game also had the line of the night. LeBron James (10.4) blew the competition away with 27 points, 8 rebounds, 9 assists, 2 steals and 2 blocks. He also had THE moment that we’ll all remember 25 years from now while we’re skating to Cafe 80’s on our hover boards.
Honorable Mentions: The East also received excellent performances from Ray Allen (6.2) and Dwight Howard (6.2). Allen was 5-9 from three (he finished with 28 points) and gave the East a much needed boost in the 3rd and 4th quarters while Paul Pierce was pretending he was as good as Kobe Bryant (and instead was throwing up crazy shots and turning the ball over with stupid passes). Howard, who finished with 16 and 9 off 7-7 shooting, pretty much scored all his points off LeBron James’ alley oops (I’m guessing. Again, there was porn involved).
Younger is Better: Get your mind out of the gutter, I’m actually talking about the Western Conference. It was a good night for Brandon Roy (7.0), who went for 18/9/5 and hit 8-10 shots. And of course, our man-crush here at GMTR, Chris Paul, had 16 points 14 assists, and 4 steals. If only he could wear a superman cape and dunk from the foul line, I might have to go gay.
The Biggest Loser: Well, Kobe’s (-5.2) line is going to look bad of course, but he only played 3 minutes because of his finger. No it was Chauncey Billups (-5.7) who was chucktastic in his 18 minutes, going 3-10 from the floor and finishing with 6 points, 1 rebound and 4 assists. Joe Johnson (-3.0) and Antawn Jamison (-3.7) also contributed 5 points between them in about 25 minutes of play. And Pierce (-2.0) left a bad taste in my mouth.
Well, that was fun. But now back to what really matters…
