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Boom, Roasted: Battle of the Bloggers League Edition

Author Icon for Nels

Categorized as: Author: Nels, Battle of the Bloggers 08-09, Boom Roasted, Diatribes, Fantasy Basketball
Posted on: February 11th, 2009

I am infatuated the Boom, Roasted idea like a 8th grade kid at summer camp is with the hot older counselor. Since I’m in 2nd place in the GMTR Monster League, and 3rd place in the Smaller Readers’ League, I can’t really roast those guys (or is that not right, since you’re supposed to roast people who are really awesome?)

Anyway, I’m going to Roast my Battle of the Bloggers league team since they’re currently 8th out of 10 teams in the league. And I’m playing against Bloggers here! or…

Nels: you’re in 8th place out of only 10 teams and you’re playing against bloggers. Boom, roasted.

Here’s the rundown…

Al Jefferson: Career low in games played. Boom, roasted.
Joe Johnson: I have a Big Ball team, so can you decide if you want to make field goals or free throws for me. Thanks. Boom, roasted.
Manu Ginboli: You still don’t start and you’re playing only 27 minutes now. Boom, roasted.
Derrick Rose: You may be starting in this league, but you’re on the bench in the Readers’ league. Boom, roasted.
LeBron James: Chris Paul has been injured and you’re still number 2. Boom, roasted.
Corey Maggette: How the hell do you get to be eligible at PF? Only in Golden State. Boom, roasted.
David West: You’re a bizarro big man with your low FG% and high FT%. Maybe stop shooting so many 18-footers, and step inside the key. Boom, roasted.
Marc Gasol: You and Pau both have way too much hair. Boom, roasted.
Ronny Turiaf: I only have you on my team because all my supposed big men can’t block any effing shots. Boom, roasted.
Ramon Sessions: I think I regret dropping Greg Oden for you. Boom, roasted.
Drew Gooden: I just dropped you to get Greg Oden back. Boom, roasted.
Greg Oden: I know I’m going to regret dropping Drew Gooden for you, even though you both have so many letters in common. Boom, roasted.
Jeff Green: I just picked you up, so I have no beef with you. Boom, roast beef.

And since I’m enjoying this a little too much right now… I’m finna roast the other managers in the league. (All in good fun, of course, hence the links to people sites. Nothing personal. Links = Love, right?)

The other bloggers in the league are:
Dennis of About.com Basketball (1st place): Sellout. Boom, roasted.

Zorgon of Blue Blitz (2nd place): You stole IBM’s font. I may or may not know people at a company whose font you stole who could sue you. Boom, roasted threatened.

Ethan of NeswSports.com (3rd place): I had your URL wrong in my original post about this league and you never corrected me. Thanks for reading. Boom, roasted.

UtesFan89 of The Utah Jazz (4th place): I’m pretty sure Wordpress.com has other themes. Boom, roasted.

Scott of Waiting for Next Year (5th place): Your blog name wont be so cute after the Cavs win the championship. Unless they can’t beat the Lakers at home. Boom, roasted.

Erik of Points in the Paint (and Give Me The Rock) 6th place: You have way too much time on your hands. Boom, roasted. Also: Sellout. Boom, roasted.

Mookie of A Stern Warning (7th place): Do people really even care if Chris Brown is at All Star Weekend? Also: Sellout. Boom, roasted.

Ryan of Hoops Addict (9th place): You may be awesome at blogging, but the same cannot be said about fantasy basketball. Boom, roasted.

Zach of Talkhoops.net (10th place): It’s probably time to drop Elton Brand. Boom, roasted. (You have Danny Granger and Tim Duncan for crying out loud. Get your game on!)

Any just so we’re clear that I can take it as well as dish it out:
Nels: the first joke you think of is pretty much never funny. Boom, roasted.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/BrendanK BrendanK

    If my ranking amongst other bloggers meant something especially important to me, I'd have killed myself over all 3 of my GMTR teams. Boom. Roasted.

    The weird thing is that I executed the same Amare/West/Calderon swing in my keeper league and I'm doing great there. Then again, I also drafted Devin Harris and Aldridge in that league, and traded Jamal Crawford for Chris Duhon. So basically I've traded public humiliation for dominance over my friends in a decently high level league. Not sure how I feel about that.

  • http://www.asternwarning.com mookie

    Hahaha!! Fair play, Nels…

    … you just wait for a return of fire!!

    Boom Dizzle Roasted me this season! [Well, along with Kaman, Redd, etc, etc...]

  • http://neswsports.com/2009/02/11/nesw-sports-headlines-2-11-2009/ NESW Sports Headlines 2-11-2009 | NESW Sports, Sports Videos

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  • http://www.talkhoops.net Zach Harper

    I'm not dropping Elton Brand. I want people to know that there are circumstances beyond my control that have led to my demise. Although trusting Elton Brand is never a good strategy for fantasy. Boom, self-roasted.

    As for you, you should have roasted me for having three Indiana Pacers on my team, Lamar Odom (pre-resurgence that gives me false hope), a shooter who doesn't shoot (Mike Miller), and a French Guy (TP). You failed to mention all of these. Boom, roasted.

    And as for your team, you have a guy on your team who's nickname is Bad Porn. For having Corey Maggette, you deserve to be roasted again. Boom, double roasted.

    Funny stuff, sir. That made my day to read. My favorite may have been Ethan's roast.

  • http://theutahjazz.wordpress.com UtesFan89

    More wordpress themes? I've been through enough in the past bit to frustrate many people. How many more should I go through?

    As for the boom, roasted… I don't have the energy or mental capacity right now to come up with anything.

  • http://www.notqualifiedtocomment.com/ Stormin Norman

    After writing the post on NQTC, I am addicted to it. I sent my girlfriend a text last night that said "You do two people's jobs but only get paid half a salary. Boom, roasted." Needless to say, I have a comfortable couch.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/biggs0 Patrick

    Nels, all your best post ideas come from other people. Boom, roasted.

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  • seanlb

    it has been a day, and i still can't think of one. so….BOOM(?) i'm roasted?

  • http://www.intensedebate.com/people/Timewalker Erik

    Nels,

    Ramon Sessions was a fantastic pick-up for your "Big Ball" team! – Boom, Re-roasted!

    P.S. Trade him to me for Shawn Marion? Boom, self-roasted!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/biggs0 Patrick

    sean, if you spent a quarter of the time commenting on GMTR as you do twittering, you would have had 523 comments by now. Boom, roasted.

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