Give Me The Rock » Diatribes

It’s All in the Name: The Basketblog Header Playoffs, Round 1

Patrick — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:59:07 +0000

Time put your special voting gloves on – our friend Jeff at Pete Marasmitch has just introduced The Basketblog Header Playoffs. That’s right, a 16-team fight to the death to see which basketball blog has the prettiest header image. You can tell this thing has been well thought out because the sixteen teams are even divided into two conferences and seeded 1 though 8. According to the nominating committee:

There was a clear difference among the nominees: either belonging to a blog network or enjoying sweet, sweet independence. Hence we have the Bono Conference (named after one of the greatest networkers in history) and the Grimes Conference (after a true independent, a self-made man).

If GMTR were in this contest, we’d definitely be representing Frank Grimes

Two fantasy blogs even made the field of 16. Our friend Brendan of 2nd Round Reach clearly earned a number 1 seed in the Bono Conference, with a banner that only he can come close to describing:

[W]hat’s more ridiculously appealing than a hawk-man driving to the rim while a robot with giant springy arms prepares to execute his “command: shot- block/outlet” function?

In my opinion? Nothing.

And GMTR contributor Erik has also made the field as a fifth seed with his blog Points in the Paint. While Erik’s header is certainly more straightforward than Brendan’s, there is something about all those blue hues in Erik’s header that makes me all tingly on the outside.

So, go vote for your favorite header at Pete Marasmitch and make sure to give some love to the fellow fantasy bloggers. Both Brendan and Erik have great headers with a professionally polished look that a lot of the headers in this competition lack. Polls close tomorrow night.

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Ten Reasons Why You Didn’t Win Your Fantasy League

Patrick — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:50:23 +0000

10. Your all Chinese team was a little weak once you got past the center position.
9. Streaming refers to what was dribbling down your pants during the draft.
8. You’re not sure what went wrong, your team was in first place last time you checked in December.
7. Your big trade acquisition this year was cap space.
6. Your team couldn’t shoot, but man did they look sharp in a suit.
5. Wait a second, when did Chris Webber retire?
4. With all due respect to Michael Lewis, intangibles don’t win championships.
3. The only thing stupider than drafting Gilbert Arenas this year was giving him $111 million.
2. Instead of going with a big ball or small ball team, you decided to try out a no balls team.
1. The only reason you come to GMTR is for the…

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Day 150 of 170: Ok, I admit it. Tony Parker is a Moderately Decent Point Guard

Patrick — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:41:19 +0000

…and a sexy, sexy man.

Line of the Night: It took the return of Manu Ginobili to push Tony Parker (1.18) to a LotN performance. Parker scored 42 points off 18-25 shooting and had 10 assists in the Spurs win over the Hawks. It probably helped Parker’s game that Duncan sat in this one, but Parker has now scored 20+ points in the Spurs last 10 games. Parker is at #72 on the 9-cat GMTR rater on the year, but #53 over the last 10 games.

A little something for our female readers. Wait, we have female readers, right?

Honorable Mentions: Dwight Howard (1.17) scored 24 and pulled down 21 rebounds as the Magic beat the Celtics to clinch the Southeast Division; and Chauncey Billups (1.08) out-dueled Chris Paul, as he scored 26 points, hit 5 threes and added 6 boards and 6 assists in a 101-88 Nuggets win over the Hornets.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Can you believe that someone named Mike Taylor (0.98) had the best fantasy game out of everyone playing in the Clippers/Knicks 140-135 overtime game? Taylor scored 35 points and had 8 rebounds off the bench for the Clippers (which was good for the 4th best line of yesterday). Seeing that it’s the Clippers, I thought they might have pulled someone out of the stands 15 minutes before the game and handed them a uniform, but Mike is a rookie out of Iowa State who was originally drafted in the second round by the Blazers. 35 points is – you guessed it – a career high for Taylor.

The Waiver Wire Honorable Mentions: Rodney Carney (0.92) scored 21 in his first start of the season for the Wolves, and Charlie Bell (0.73) went for 20/6/7 off the bench for the Bucks.

The Biggest Loser: Other than Vanessa Bryant? Ok, how about Marcus Camby (-0.66). Camby played all of 15 minutes against the Knicks, taking and missing one shot and finishing with no points and 3 rebounds.

All Eyez on Me: Three games tonight, starting with Los Angeles (56-14) at Detroit (34-36. Both teams have plenty of low end fantasy options that are probably available in your league (like Will Bynum and Trevor Ariza).

Miami (38-33) at Chicago (34-38) – Derrick Rose is questionable and probably will sit out of this game with a bruised wrist. I know it feels good Derrick, but time to slow down a little on the masturbation.

The late game pits Phoenix (40-31) at Portland (44-27) – I’m legitimately curious to see the Shaquille O’Neal vs. Greg Oden matchup. Hopefully, it works out a little bit better for Oden than their first two matchups, where he racked up 10 fouls in 31 minutes. But it probably won’t.

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Beer Me Front Row Seats

Nels — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:31:15 +0000

Someday, I dream of going to a basketball game and getting beer in a real glass. I’m assuming this is not something that everyone at a Wizards game gets to enjoy, and I know I’ve never had a beer in a real glass at a Bulls game.

Someday, though… someday…

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GMTR Valentine Series: I Heart LeBron James

Nels — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 19:25:46 +0000

As Erik put it, and Patrick quoted:

As Erik already mentioned, “Valentine’s Day, the day of hearts, the day of LOVE! It’s time we at GMTR talked about NBA players we LOVE, from a fantasy perspective of course.”

I have accepted that I can enjoy watching Kobe. But this year, I have accepted that LeBron James is my favorite basketball player. I’m not sure why it took me so long. I’ve always respected him (how can you not?), and always enjoyed watching him, but for some reason, this season I realized that he is The player I always tried to create when I would make my own players in video games. He can drive through anyone anytime he wants, but he can also toss in three-pointers from distances rarely considered by players who are 250 pounds.

I am quite certain that a large part of the reason I was hesitant to truly welcome LeBron into my heart was because I took him with the first pick in the Dropping Dimes Experts League in 2006, and if you look at his career stats you will see that while 06-07 wasn’t his worst season, it was a marked decline from the previous season, and therefore, a disappointment to me (and I’m sure many other fantasy owners). I finished 4th in that league after trading away LeBron (I’m not sure for who, but he’s not on my final roster in the Yahoo archives). The next season, I ended up with the 12th pick and took Chris Paul. I won the league that season, so you can see why I had a much better impression of CP3 than I did of LBJ23.

No more, though. No more.

Fantasy Perspective

Erik’s current poll on Points in the Paint asks whether James should unseat Chris Paul as the #1 fantasy option. It’s a very valid question, and I would argue that while Paul is probably still the true number one, you can take LeBron next year and not have any regrets. Paul has had some issues with injury, and while LeBron has yet to play all 82 games in a season, he’s averaging 78 games a season to Paul’s 74.

LeBron is having a career high year in FG%, FT%, Rebounds, and Blocks (while also setting a career low in TOs – probably thanks to the addition of Mo Williams). He is also close to career numbers in Threes, Assists, and even Points (pretty good considering the addition of the previously parenthetically mentioned Mo Williams).

I love watching LeBron trail fast breaks now to go for blocks from behind. I love that it seems like whenever people harp on a weakness in his game, he makes an effort to improve on it (see FT% and Blocks).

I hope to someday get to see he and Kobe go at each other for seven games straight. If the people rigging the playoffs know what’s good for them, they’ll make it happen sooner rather than later.

GMTR Valentine Series

Patrick: I Heart Chris Paul (really, I wouldn’t have guessed)

Erik: I Heart Danny Granger

Bonus Links:

This video of Corey Maggette traveling 6 times in one play is a must see.

DRose looks eerily appropriate in a Trail Blazers warm up. NOT COOL.

Did anyone else watch Dollhouse last night? There’s a lot of potential there…

Finally, it’s not a link, but I’m happy to be advertising for The Basketball Jones (via the YardBarker Network).

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GMTR Valentine Series: I HEART Chris Paul

Patrick — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 12:46:53 +0000

As Erik already mentioned, “Valentine’s Day, the day of hearts, the day of LOVE! It’s time we at GMTR talked about NBA players we LOVE, from a fantasy perspective of course.”

I am game. My favorite fantasy player also happens to be the best fantasy player in the league right now. Call it weak, clichéd, old news, whatever, I don’t care. When my heart tells me to stand outside Chris Paul’s bedroom holding a boombox above my head while blasting some Peter Gabriel, consider it done.

A dramatization of me in front of Chris Paul’s house last week. Yes, hightops FTW.

Paul – as nearly every fantasy player rater will tell you – is quantitatively the best fantasy guy in the NBA right now. And that is not even taking into account that he plays a relatively scare position. Through half the season, he’s averaging 21 points, 11 assists, 5 rebounds, and 2.7 steals a game, after averaging nearly that exact line last year. Those steals are tops in the league by a huge margin (Jason Kidd is second at 2.2 a game) and he slightly nudges Deron Williams for tops in the league in assists. The only bad thing you could say about his game is that he doesn’t shoot the three as much as some of the top guys in the league, but he’s too busy racking up mad assists and winning games to worry about padding his stats ::coughlebronjamescough::.

There have been a few minor bumps and bruises along the road for Paul, but generally he’s been healthy. And he certainly doesn’t carry the worry of Brandon Roy’s knees, Andrew Bogut’s back, or Al Jefferson’s everything. A “guy you can build a team around” is a phrase thrown out a lot in the fantasy world, but it is absolutely true in Paul’s case. He’ll almost single handedly put you at the top of your league in assists and steals, while still giving you the points, boards, and percentages that is on par with many of the top draft picks. Plus, Paul locks up your PG slot, which other than center, is the toughest position to fill in most fantasy leagues.

So, Chris Paul, would it be weird if I said I wanted to touch the light the heat I see in your eyes.

A little weird? Ok. Weird.

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Boom, Roasted: Battle of the Bloggers League Edition

Nels — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:37:06 +0000

I am infatuated the Boom, Roasted idea like a 8th grade kid at summer camp is with the hot older counselor. Since I’m in 2nd place in the GMTR Monster League, and 3rd place in the Smaller Readers’ League, I can’t really roast those guys (or is that not right, since you’re supposed to roast people who are really awesome?)

Anyway, I’m going to Roast my Battle of the Bloggers league team since they’re currently 8th out of 10 teams in the league. And I’m playing against Bloggers here! or…

Nels: you’re in 8th place out of only 10 teams and you’re playing against bloggers. Boom, roasted.

Here’s the rundown…

Al Jefferson: Career low in games played. Boom, roasted.
Joe Johnson: I have a Big Ball team, so can you decide if you want to make field goals or free throws for me. Thanks. Boom, roasted.
Manu Ginboli: You still don’t start and you’re playing only 27 minutes now. Boom, roasted.
Derrick Rose: You may be starting in this league, but you’re on the bench in the Readers’ league. Boom, roasted.
LeBron James: Chris Paul has been injured and you’re still number 2. Boom, roasted.
Corey Maggette: How the hell do you get to be eligible at PF? Only in Golden State. Boom, roasted.
David West: You’re a bizarro big man with your low FG% and high FT%. Maybe stop shooting so many 18-footers, and step inside the key. Boom, roasted.
Marc Gasol: You and Pau both have way too much hair. Boom, roasted.
Ronny Turiaf: I only have you on my team because all my supposed big men can’t block any effing shots. Boom, roasted.
Ramon Sessions: I think I regret dropping Greg Oden for you. Boom, roasted.
Drew Gooden: I just dropped you to get Greg Oden back. Boom, roasted.
Greg Oden: I know I’m going to regret dropping Drew Gooden for you, even though you both have so many letters in common. Boom, roasted.
Jeff Green: I just picked you up, so I have no beef with you. Boom, roast beef.

And since I’m enjoying this a little too much right now… I’m finna roast the other managers in the league. (All in good fun, of course, hence the links to people sites. Nothing personal. Links = Love, right?)

The other bloggers in the league are:
Dennis of About.com Basketball (1st place): Sellout. Boom, roasted.

Zorgon of Blue Blitz (2nd place): You stole IBM’s font. I may or may not know people at a company whose font you stole who could sue you. Boom, ~~roasted~~ threatened.

Ethan of NeswSports.com (3rd place): I had your URL wrong in my original post about this league and you never corrected me. Thanks for reading. Boom, roasted.

UtesFan89 of The Utah Jazz (4th place): I’m pretty sure Wordpress.com has other themes. Boom, roasted.

Scott of Waiting for Next Year (5th place): Your blog name wont be so cute after the Cavs win the championship. Unless they can’t beat the Lakers at home. Boom, roasted.

Erik of Points in the Paint (and Give Me The Rock) 6th place: You have way too much time on your hands. Boom, roasted. Also: Sellout. Boom, roasted.

Mookie of A Stern Warning (7th place): Do people really even care if Chris Brown is at All Star Weekend? Also: Sellout. Boom, roasted.

Ryan of Hoops Addict (9th place): You may be awesome at blogging, but the same cannot be said about fantasy basketball. Boom, roasted.

Zach of Talkhoops.net (10th place): It’s probably time to drop Elton Brand. Boom, roasted. (You have Danny Granger and Tim Duncan for crying out loud. Get your game on!)

Any just so we’re clear that I can take it as well as dish it out:
Nels: the first joke you think of is pretty much never funny. Boom, roasted.

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Day 87 of 170: DeeeeeAndreeeeeee!

Patrick — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:14:38 +0000

Line of the Night: So far Charlie Villanueva’s (1.21) season resembles a bad TV movie, starring someone like Jesse Martin as Villanueva. There were high hopes for Charlie coming into the season, a horrible start, then he got hurt and came back to find his starting job gone. // cue music and slow motion shot of Villanueva walking down the street away from the camera //

But bad TV movies are supposed to have happy endings, and Charlie got his starting job back this week and is kicking ass: 32 points, 10 rebound, 4 threes and 2 steals for Villanueva yesterday against the Blazers.

Honorable Mentions: Andrew Bynum (1.12) exploded for 42 points and 15 rebounds; and when Rafer Alston (1.03) shot is actually on, fantasy goodness flows from his game. Last night, he hit 5-7 from three, finishing with 24 points, 8 assists and a couple steals.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: DeAndre Jordan (1.11). If you had listened to Erik, you would have started Jordan yesterday and gotten 23, 12 and 4 blocks and honestly looked like a genius. Jordan, who is starting for the injured bikini girl, is a viable play until Camby et al returns, and possibly even after that.

The Biggest Loser: Rasheed Wallace (-0.52). I feel the need, the need for Sheed… to score more than 3 points and grab 2 rebounds.

All Eyez on Me: Thursday previews are the best because it’s usually just two games, which means less work for me and more time to think about who would play Charlie Villanueva in a TV movie.

Anyway, tonight features one very good game, Boston (35-9) at Orlando (33-8) and one not so epic matchup, Washington (9-32) at Los Angeles (33-8).

Boston brings its 6 game win streak to Orlando to face off against the Magic and their 7 game win streak. Kendrick Perkins returned for the Celtics in their last game, which is great news for Boston because Brian Scalabrine guarding Dwight Howard would have been… you know, I don’t even have words to describe how badly that would have played out for the Celtics.

Kobe dislocated his ring finger a few days ago, but is playing through the injury because pain turns him on. He passed his way to a triple double (18/10/12) in the Lakers’ win last night, however, he was just 5-15 from the field. With that type of injury, his shooting performance may be affected the rest of the season.

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Day 82 of 170: Gerald Wallace Kicks Greg Oden Out of His House

Patrick — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:00:51 +0000

Line of the Night: They aren’t quite the Golden State Warriors, but the Knicks do their part of help out the opposing team’s fantasy lines. And yesterday, Andre Iguodala (1.11) had his shot falling against New York, going 10-17 from the floor and finishing with 28 points, 10 boards, 7 assists and 3 threes.

Honorable Mentions: Jason Kidd (1.11) was only 3-10 from the field, but his line of 11/7/15 with 4 steals was good enough to make up for the fact that he can’t shoot; and Gerald Wallace (1.05) exploded for 31 and 16 and embarrassed a certain biggest loser mentioned below.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Andres Nocioni (0.75) checks in with 17 points and 15 boards last night against the Spurs. Nocioni is currently only owned in 30% of Yahoo leagues, which is not a huge shock since not all too much was expected out of him going into the year, he’s not starting, and the Bulls’ frontcourt (when healthy) is jammed with players. But even with Gooden back Nocioni has been averaging about 30 minutes a game, which is just enough to bring some decent fantasy value to the table. I mean, how long are the Bulls going to keep the Tyrus Thomas experiment going?

Injury Plays! Linas Kleiza (0.57) is seeing about 30-35 minutes a night while Carmelo is out and his lines have been as wild as Nocioni’s, but he broke out yesterday with 26 points off 9-16 shooting and 3 threes; and Brian Skinner (0.55) has been starting for the injury depleted Clips. Take a look at him if you need the points, rebounds and the occasional block or four.

Injury of the Night: It was only a matter of time… Marcus Camby (0.35) injured his ankle in the 4th quarter of last night’s game trying to rebound the ball. X-rays were negative, but he was seen “limping badly in and out of the trainers room.” We’ll know more today, but it sounds like he’ll need to be benched until further notice.

The Biggest Loser: Besides my GMTR fantasy teams? Does Greg Oden (-0.59) count? Maybe we should just make him is own special section in the rundowns: The Guess How Bad Greg Oden was Tonight Line of the Night? Last night’s performance was fairly high on the scale – he went for 8/3/0 in 18 minutes. Oh, and this by Gerald Wallace didn’t help Oden’s case.

Not counting Oden, Nene Hilario (-0.45) – with 4 points and 8 boards – was in foul trouble most of the night and only saw 17 minutes on the court.

All Eyez on Me: The NBA is rolling with only two games today:

Phoenix (22-15) at Toronto (16-25) – Let the Steve Nash trade rumors fly! Nash, who started out the season slowly, has turned on the intensity in January (he’s averaging 10.4 assist a game this month) which is still below is career average, but a little better than the crap he was throwing out in 2008.

Miami (21-18) at Oklahoma City (8-33) – Not exactly a clash of the titans, but it should have some quality match-ups to watch, like Russell Westbrook vs. Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant vs. Shawn Marion. And don’t forget Nenad Krstic vs. Joel Anthony

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Day 55 of 170: Mike Bibby reminds Detroit what a true PG looks like

Nels — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:51:09 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

Line of the Night: I can’t say anything quite as strong as Patrick did yesterday about Chris Paul, but Mike Bibby (1.14) put on a three-point shooting demonstration last night, making 6 of them, totally 27 points, while shooting 77% from the floor. He also had 3 rebounds, 3 steals, 5 assists with only 1 turnover.

Honorable Mentions: LeBron James (0.89) was also somewhat Point Guard like with 31, 4, and 7 including 2 threes. Quentin Richardson (0.76) showed why you can always count on some good NY fantasy performances (even when they’re losing by 20 to Boston) with 29 points off of 5 three-pointers. I’ve said it before, but Mike D’Antoni is a fantasy basketball magician. David Lee (0.71) had his worst game in a week, with 17 and 8 and 4 steals, and still ended up at #4 on the night.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: James Singleton (0.71) had one of those games that he has once a year that make you say “Who’s James Singleton? Should I pick him up?” I only know this because I’ve done it before. The answer to the latter is always no. So really, there’s no reason to answer the former.

In slightly more realistic Waiver Wire ideas, Devean George (0.22) had 10 and 4 with 2 steals and a block. Yee frickin ha. George is at least averaging 26 minutes (though I’m not sure why) compared to Singleton’s 13 minutes.

The Biggest Loser: Technically, it’s Desmond Mason with -0.57, but since he’s only owned in 2% of Yahoo leagues, I’m going to institute a Biggest Loser litmus test (similar to our growing collection of WWLotN tests) where the player must be owned in, I don’t know, let’s start with 25% of Yahoo leagues in order to be relevant enough to count as an actual Big Loser.

So, the next awful performance that qualifies is Wilson Chandler (-0.49) not all that far behind Mason. Chandler is owned in 75% of Yahoo leagues (only 7% behind Tyson Chandler!), and last night he rewarded all those owners with 2 points (on 1/7 shooting), 1 rebound, and 2 assists in 24 minutes.

All Eyez On Me: Last time Orlando (21-6) playing Golden State (8-20) Martin Gortat had 16 and 13, so things look pretty good for Dwight Howard tonight.

Portland (17-10) v. Denver (17-10) should be an interesting matchup.

Not too much other drama going on in the league right tonight.

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