Now there are clearly a couple different ways we could go with this… e.g., making fun of players by calling them actors (Manu Ginobili, I’m looking at you), but that seems a bit cheap, so I’m going to try to limit the number of easy jokes I make at the expensive of large egos. Instead, I am going to combine cheap’n'easy jokes, cute comparisons of current NBA All Stars with current Oscar nominations, and a couple other things that will take the Oscar analogy to a whole different level. Of course, whether that level is above or below the other level remains to be seen.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Rajon Rondo, America’s Next Top Model

Performance by an actor in a leading role: Dwyane Wade, A Single Man

Achievement in sound editing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95WKVUnXNe4

Best visual effects: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYX2nfFa6TU

Best foreign language film of the year: Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Best documentary short subject: Chris Paul, The Hurt Locker

Best documentary feature: LeBron James, More Than A Game

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song): Forever from More Than A Game

Achievement in directing: Steve Nash, Steve Nash’s Avatar

Lifetime Achievement Award (aka Thanks For Everything, Old Man Award): Allen Iverson for his work with the Philadelphia 76ers

Best Motion Picture of the Year: Derrick Rose, Up

Finally, while Dwight Howard and Deron Williams gave fairly decent performances in their respective TNT commercials as Super Dwight and Dizzy Deron, they were basically playing themselves, so, even though they were with someone who was actually acting, they were ineligible for any awards.

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Patrick has already covered the big trade that went down over the weekend. So, with that done… there’s not much left to do right now but wait for more trades to happen. I’ve been hearing a lot about Amar’e Stoudemire going to Cleveland. Of course, most of the people saying that seem to be Cavs fans who would love for nothing more than to give LeBron a worthy sidekick.

I could talk about the All Star Game, but excess of food and beer aside, I didn’t really see anything there that anyone reading this blog doesn’t already know. And honestly, I’m a little upset that I had to wait 2 hours to watch the game, which – with all due respect – was basically what every ASG is: Entertaining and Fun, but not Spectacular.

So, while we wait for trades, I will take the opportunity to do something that is Spectacular and that I will probably never get the chance to do again: Post pictures of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Sure, I suppose I could do that any time I wanted since it’s not like there’s an editorial staff here, but we do try to keep things topical, and the topic of having the All Star game in the Cowboys stadium came up over and over and over and over last night so, well, here we go. (Note, I looked around a little and couldn’t find any of the lovely ladies actually at the ASG last night, so instead, we what is basically the All Star team of Cowboys Cheerleader pictures.)

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The three point contest was reasonable entertaining enough, especially since (unlike the dunk contest) all the shooters came to play and they all put up decent scores. In the end, my boy Paul Pierce took home the award, but not without a fight from the impressively accurate Stephen Curry.

But overall, All-Star Saturday night was a bore fest. You know your dunk contest is a dud when the Olympic short-track speed skating was entertaining me more.

Trade of the Day: After hearing rumor after rumor, it was clear that Mark Cuban was going to shake up the Mavs one way or another. And on all-star weekend, the Mavs acquired Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood, and DeShawn Stevenson in exchange for Josh Howard, Drew Gooden, James Singleton, and Quinton Ross.

What does this all mean for fantasy? The package of players heading to the Wizards are straight-up salary relief, it’s a trade that will save the Wizards $14.6 million in salary next season. But there still are fantasy implications on the Wizards side. First off, grab Drew Gooden and Andray Blatche if they are still available in your league. One of them is going to become the team’s new starting center. I’d put my money on Blatche personally, as Gooden is potentially a buy out candidate if the Wizards don’t need his services. Still, try and scoop them up before someone else does and you can sort it out later.

Josh Howard’s value also increases (although it had no where to go but up) as he’ll become Butler’s fill-in on the Wiz. He should be able to score 20 points a game on that team while he plays out the final days of his contract.

As for Dallas, the 29-year old Caron Butler takes over for the disappointing Howard and should be able to get some decent minutes playing alongside Jason Kidd. The extent to which he fits in with the Mavs and Rick Carlisle‘s offense depends on if he’s going to start putting in the effort again, which hopefully won’t be a problem now that he’s on a playoff team. In the end, I think Butler’s fantasy value remains about the same. The minutes will go down for him, but he actually has something to play for again.

Brendan Haywood – who was having a quietly great fantasy year – sees his value take a hit as long as he’s splitting time with Erick Dampier. Dampier is nursing an injury right now, so it is worth holding on to Haywood while you break out your Erick Dampier voodoo doll. But as long as both are on the court, it’ll be a fantasy lose-lose for both players.

All Eyez on Me: The 2010 NBA All-Star game is on tonight, starting at 7PM eastern time. Hopefully things are more interesting than yesterday, although considering the players who are involved tonight versus guys like Shannon Brown and Daequan Cook, I think we are in good hands.

In case you are wondering, NBC is counter programming the All-Star game with Olympic pairs figure skating. Sounds like something nice to do with your significant other on Valentine’s Day.

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We’ve picked the teams based on a game-adjusted version of the GMTR player rater (with a pinch of our own personal opinion thrown in). After each player, you’ll see a score labeled Game Adjusted 9-Cat Rating (GAR for short) which, as the name would apply is our GMTR 9-cat player rating roughly adjusted for games played. So someone like Danny Granger, who has been decent on a per game basis, is out because of all the games he’s missed.

Each of the teams will go 12 deep and after Erik and I present the teams, I’ll simulate the all-star game to see which team would win in a standard 9-cat fantasy league. And after scouring the list of players, I’m going to guess I have my work cut out for me. Anyway, here are your 2009-10 Eastern Conference Fantasy All-Stars:

Starters

Rajon Rondo (Bos – PG) Game Adjusted 9-Cat Rating (GAR): 9.7

No offense to Rondo, but we’re already off to not the greatest start against the Western Conference. Eight of the nine top fantasy PGs in the league play for the Western Conference, with poor Rondo as the only Eastern Conference guy wedged somewhere in the middle. That being said, Rondo has been great for his owners and the Celtics, improving the weakest part of his game this season by increasing his per game scoring from 11.9 points in 08-09 to 14.3 this year (on a very respectable 53% shooting). Add in those 9.7 assists and 2.5 steals per game and you have the best PG in this conference by a wide margin.

Dwyane Wade (MIA – SG) GAR: 12.1

Yeah, Wade has struggled with his shot at times this season and his numbers are down across the board from last season, but come on, that was a ridiculously high bar he set in 08-09. As long as you’re not expecting LeBron-like numbers, Wade’s 26.5 points, 4.6 rebounds, 6.5 assists, 1.9 steals and 1 block per game are by far enough to anchor any fantasy team (and he currently sits at number 5 on our GMTR player rater).

Lebron James (CLE – SF) GAR: 16.1

The anchor. Not only for fantasy teams across the world, but for this all-star team as well. LeBron has played in every Cavs game this season and is averaging a crazy 29.9 points per game, with 7.1 rebounds and 8.3 assists. He’s shooting at a 51% clip while still knocking down 1.9 threes a game. The only weak part of his game – the free throw shooting – is only slightly worse than league average at 77.6%.

Lebron’s statistics represented by the movie The Hot Chick

Wait, what did I just call Rob Schneider…

Chris Bosh (Tor – PF) GAR: 11.8

Time to call this “team free-agent 2010.” Bosh may be leaving Toronto, but it’s a hell of a way to go out: 24.4 points, 11.4 rebounds, and 53% shooting from the floor. Based on his age, this season may just be a natural improvement for Bosh, but it sure does seem to have “I’m playing for a new contract” written all over it.

David Lee (NYK – C) GAR: 11.3

David Lee got the actual All-Star nod after Allen Iverson pulled out of the game (not for actually not deserving it, but to tend to a sick daughter). But we give Lee even higher praise here by starting him on the Eastern Conference fantasy team. Lee has been everything people hoped he’d be and more when they drafted him in the 3rdish rounds. He’s now averaging 20 points a game on a ridiculous 56% shooting, with 11.4 rebounds and 3.5 assists a game. The Knicks are on a fast track to nowhere this season, but I can’t even imagine where they would be without Lee.

Bench

Brandon Jennings (CLE – PG) GAR: 7.6

I did say the PG position was weak in the Eastern Conference, right? It comes down to Jennings, Mo Williams, or Raymond Felton. If Williams weren’t hurt I probably would have selected him despite the fact that he’s missed 11 or so games for the Cavs. Instead, we’ll celebrate the rookie and his great season so far, as he’s averaged 16.9 points, 6.2 assists and 1.8 threes in 51 games for the Bucks. That being said, Jennings looked tied going into the all-star break and has shot 31% in the month of February, so that rookie wall might be starring him in the face once regular season games resume.

Andre Iguodala (PHI – SG) GAR: 10.5

The scoring is slowly atrophying for Iguodala (he’s down to 17.1 points per game from 19.9 two seasons ago) and he’s only shooting 42.5% from the field. Yet, the rest of his game is stronger than ever, with 7 rebounds, 5.7 assists, and 1.9 steals per game. While he’s yet to record a triple-double this year, he comes oh-so-close to one every fourth game it seems.

Joe Johnson (ATL – SG) GAR: 10.2

Johnson’s numbers are right in line with what’s he’s done the past couple of years, although he seems to be getting more attention this year because the Hawks are playing so well. Regardless of whether that is actually true or just in my crazed head, JJ certainly deserves the attention and who wouldn’t want his 21.6 points, 4.6 rebounds, 4.7 assists and 1.8 threes per game?

Gerald Wallace (CHA – SF) GAR: 11.1

Wallace has a goal for this year’s dunk contest: don’t get injured. That should actually be his goal for the regular season as well, as Crash has averaged a career high 42 minutes per game for the Bobcats this season. I’m not sure how long he can keep riding that close to the Sun, but through this point in the season you can’t argue with the results: 18.8 points, 10.9 rebounds, 1.6 steals, and 1.2 blocks per game. And best of all he’s only missed 2 games so far this season.

Josh Smith (ATL – PF) GAR: 10.0

I was chastised (chastised!) for taking Smith in the third round of the 2009 GMTR fantasy guide mock draft. It even started a heated debate by email over the type of year we were going to see from Smith. Ha, who’s laughing now, bitches! (oh right, not me since it was just a mock draft). Anyway, I figured we’d see a healthy Smith this season, a Smith who would be more aggressive on the court, thereby bumping his block and rebounding totals back in line with his career numbers. And for the most part that is exactly what we’ve seen, with Smith averaging 8.5 rebounds, 3.9 assists, 1.6 steals and 2.1 blocks a game (all increases over last season) for the super-hot Atlanta Hawks.

Brook Lopez (NJN – C) GAR: 10.8

Not a bad spot to be in for the second year Lopez. Unlike many of last year’s rookies who have regressed in their sophomore season (O.J. Mayo, Eric Gordon, Mario Chalmers… I could go on) Lopez has improved just about every aspect of his game this season and is now averaging 18.9 points, 9 rebounds and 1.9 blocks a game while shooting 50% from the field. Lopez is one of the few bright spots for a horrid Nets squad and gets the nod on this all-star squad over someone like Dwight Howard because he can actually hit free throws (81% from the line).

Al Horford (ATL – C) GAR: 9.6

It was close, but from a fantasy perspective Horford has been better than Andrea Bargnani, Dwight Howard, and Al Jefferson through this point in the season. He’s averaged a quietly consistent 13.4 points, 9.4 rebounds and 1.2 blocks per game while shooting 56% from the floor. While it was tough to leave out someone like Danilo Gallinari or even Troy Murphy, Horford has been slightly better and more consistent than those guys.

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I didn’t actually get a chance to see the festivities (I was out, you know, enjoying life) but Hoopsworld has a complete run down of all the events including the half-time dunk-in between DeMar DeRozan and Eric Gordon to see who was going to compete in tonight’s slam dunk contest.

All Eyez on Me: This is what your Saturday looks like:

3 PM: 2010 NBA D-League All-Star Game
7 PM: H.O.R.S.E. presented by Geico
8 PM: All-Star Saturday Night (Haier Shooting Stars | Taco Bell Skills Challenge | Foot Locker Three-Point Contest |Sprite Slam Dunk)

I wonder how the NBA is able to keep this low-key event afloat?

Kelly Dwyer breaks down this year’s 3pt contest on Ball Don’t Lie, but never really give his prediction for the event. If we talk a quick look at the betting odds, Stephen Curry is the favorite at 19/10, followed by Daequan Cook at 3/1, Danilo Gallinari at 15/4 and Chauncey Billups at 7/2. Your underdog is Channing Frye, who enter the event with 6/1 odds.

As for the slam dunk contest, DIME tells us to be on the lookout for Nate Robinson jumping over Yao Ming. Who is the favorite in the dunk contest? It’s Lakers’ guard Shannon Brown, he of the 40-inch vertical leap, who has even odds to win this thing. Nate Robinson is getting 2/1 odds, Gerald Wallace 3/1 and DeMar DeRozan 5/1 (although this was before the dunk-in I believe).

And in case you were wondering, Kevin Durant is the heavy favorite to win the HORSE competition at 4/5 odds.

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My parents are actually going to be at the Portland/Denver game tonight, in the 100-Level no less. But they have a friend who gets First Class tickets a lot, so it’s not even big deal to them. My mom was thinking about not going until I told her that the Nuggets were actually good. Of course, now that the Blazers are going to face them without Oden, Pryzbilla, and probably not Brandon Roy either… maybe they should have sold the tickets and used the money to buy me my dog more presents.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, I liked what Patrick did for the pic in yesterday’s post. So, here’s to ladies in Santa outfits…

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Line of the Night: / Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Vladimir Radmanovic (1.17) is not the first WWLotN to also get the overall LotN, but he is the only player in the NBA with a VL in his name. He’s also the only player to get 20 points (4 threes), 8 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals last night. Unfortunately, that performance wasn’t enough to get a W for the W’s. I’d argue that he’s trending upwards, but since he’s only owned in 5% of leagues, you can probably afford to wait another couple games to see if that theory holds.

Honorable Mentions: Carl Landry (1.02) (and the other Rockets) proved that the Warriors are still every bit as much fantasy gold as the team that is almost as far away as you can get in the NBA (that would be the Knicks). Landry had 22 and 9 with 2 steals and 3 blocks. Aaron Brooks (0.97) had 25 points including 5 three-pointers. Shane Battier (0.80) had 10 and 10 with 4 assists and 6 blocks.

The Biggest Loser: Richard Jefferson (-0.43) has turned into the opposite of fantasy dynamite. Last night he was even worse than that, though, shooting 23% to end with 6 points. He added 4 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 steals. Yee-ha.

All Eyez On Me: A little bit of Miami at Los Angeles Lakers anyone? D-Wade, Kobe, Beasley, Bynum? Could be a 2011 Finals matchup (if the Heat end up with Chris Bosh, of course).

Also, Boston is in Oklahoma City, who is running around with a 10-8 record so far this season. The Kids Are Alright.

The Golden Ticket: New York is in Atlanta tonight, so Fly, Hawks, Fly!

Friday’s Tiny Dancer: Here’s Radman’s reward (click to enlarge):

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Dont miss a day of the Fantasy NBA. Subscribe to Give Me The Rock  right now. You can also get bonus (and easily digestible) content by following GMTR on Twitter.

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Line of the Night: The internets are abuzz today and the name on the tip of everyone’s tongue is Anthony Morrow (1.28). Morrow and his band of might Warriors took down the streaking Mavericks as though there were a new deputy in town. Morrow made 6 threes en route to 27 points, adding 9 rebounds, 5 assists and 3 steals in the process.

Honorable Mentions: Danny Granger (0.98) was also dialing from distance for dollars last night, connecting on 7 threes and tallying 36 points. Granger matched Morrow’s 9 rebounds and 5 assists, but fell short in steals, and shot only 40% from the floor.

Kevin Durant (0.85) made 11 of his 22 shots, scoring 28 points with 5 boards and 8 assists. The kid could be good.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Everyone’s favorite guy with two first names: Jarrett Jack (0.71) finally played like I thought he would when I drafted him far too many times in far too many leagues. Jack made all 7 of his shots (which will probably never happen again, so don’t use that as a factor in your decision to pick him up), and ended up with 18 points, 3 rebounds, and 6 assists.

The Biggest Loser: Deron Williams (-0.41) was really battling it out for the award last night. Elton Brand (-0.40) was a close second with his 4 points in 27 minutes, but Deron brought home the bacon with a near quadruple-double: 10 points, 7 rebounds, 9 assists, and 7 turnovers. He also missed both of his free throw attempts, and only shot 35% from the field. Jason Kidd anyone?

All Eyez On Me: Before we get to Orlando at Atlanta on Turkey Day, we have to sit through a bunch of good teams playing a bunch of bad teams. Do you think the NBA scheduled it that way on purpose? I mean, the best thing going is Dallas @ Houston. I’m sure the Texans out there are all in a tizzy, but I could, well, I guess I could care less… for example: Denver at Minnesota. There’s a matchup.

The Golden Ticket: Luckily for us fantasy players, Golden State will continue through Texas, stopping San Antonio. Will the Spurs be able to slow talk them into only 90 points?

New York is playing Sacramento, so look out for Knicks and Kings tonight! And Phoenix is playing Memphis, so that should work out well for somebody, right?

And since I still feel bad about the downtime last week (and because I’m moving the site again, and hoping to get in everyone’s good graces in advance): Cheerleader 2!

—–

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First, please go to this post from 2 seasons ago. The immediately relevant part is the first A-Town Dancer you see there.

Okay, back? If you didn’t bother looking, let me just tell you there was a picture of (now former) Hawks A-Town Dancer. Why is that relevant?

Said, Hawks dancer, who’s real name is Briana, is now making money entertaining men in a different sort of way. And she’s probably getting a lot more of said money than she did as a dancer. She is making porn. Well, she’s not really the one making it, but she’s starring in it.

I almost laughed out loud when I first read this, but then I turned off SafeSearch and did a Google Image Search for Brandy Blair.

I know what you’re saying, that looks pretty tame… but notice the watermark. It doesn’t say Give Me The Rock, that’s for sure. And by now, you’ve probably also noticed the pics below…

So, it’s not like she got a tattoo that says: “I’m doing it for money” but those are the tame ones. Try an image search yourself, and I think you’ll find the proof is in the pudding. And by pudding, I mean, well… you know.

Thanks: Guyism

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Hey, and they have video of the thing. You’ve got to ask yourself, what the hell are some of these girls thinking?

The site also keeps us all up to date on audition dates for every NBA team. For the thousands of beautiful female readers that we have in the Chicago area, the Chicago LuvaBulls are holding their auditions on Saturday, August 1st. I think it’s about time that GMTR puts a man on the ground to attend this thing in person and report back on the festivities (…looking in Nels’ direction).

And if you think the point of this post is just to show cheerleader pictures, well you’re dead wrong. It’s to show cheerleader pictures and try AND to try to coerce Nels to attend one of these things.

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