Give Me The Rock

I had an empty feeling in my stomach this weekend because there were no regular season games to recap (although the playoffs started on an exciting note). But after investing 170 days of our lives, it’s only fitting to recap the best and worst of the season that was. What do you say, Nels?

Let’s start with the fantasy MVP

Nels: Chris Paul. I mean, as much as I was going with the Heart thing as kind of a running joke (for me, at least) I came to real that Paul really was the fantasy basketball MVP this year. Also, interesting to note that even though Kobe played 2 more game than CP3, their Fantasy Scores are actually closer when you look at Average stats than totals.

Patrick: Chris Paul. He finished the season number 1 on the GMTR player rater by a Chicago mile (both with turnovers and without – which is a big deal – since LeBron went from 2nd to 4th when turnovers were included). What more can I say about Chris Paul that I haven’t already said a thousand times? Not much. I would take him number 1 again next year without a worry.

Line of the Year

Patrick: After digging through 170 days worth of lines, I like Lebron James’ 50 points, 8 rebounds, 10 assists and 4 steals on Day 128, Kobe’s 53 points, 10 rebounds, 3 steals, and 9 threes on Day 151, Chris Paul’s 42 points, 5 rebounds, 9 assists, 4 threes, and 8 steals on Day 100, and Baron Davis’ 33/11/15 with 5 threes on Day 25. I’m tempted to throw in Marcus Camby’s line of 8 points, 24 rebounds, and 11 blocked shots. But he didn’t even get LotN that day, so I guess I’d go with Lebron on Day 128. He had 4-5 jaw dropping lines during the year, so he gets the award for style and consistency.

Nels: It’s probably not physically the best line, but with 39 points and 5 threes on 14/28 and 6/7, alongside 11 rebounds, 8 assists and 2 steals, Kobe Bryant’s game on Dec. 23, 2007 was one of the few Lines of the Night that I can remember that got to a 7 on NBA.com’s Player Rater.

Rookie of the Year

Nels: Kevin Durant is the first rookie listed on NBA.com’s Player Rater. He’s at number 61, which seems pretty high for a rookie.

Patrick: Kevin Durant: As much as I like Al Horford (not particularly that much) facts are facts. Despite all the press about how Durant “can’t shoot” or “play defense” or “doesn’t rebound” or “isn’t a shooting guard”, he finished ranked 60 on the GMTR rater to Horford’s 103. Hell, Horford isn’t even the rookie runner-up as Jamario Moon finished at 99. It wasn’t a glorious season for the Sonics (that’s a bit of an understatement) but Durant led the Sonics as well as any other 19-year-old in the history of the game and he finished the season averaging 20.3 points and 89% from the line.

Most Improved Player

Patrick: I’ll go with Danny Granger, who finished the year ranked #25 on the GMTR rater, ahead of Jason Kidd, Andre Iguodala, Vince Carter, and Gerald Wallace. Granger took control of a Pacers team that missed Jermaine O’Neal for 40 games this year, and he went from a 14 point a game guy to a 20 point a game guy, with 2.1 threes to boot. He’s also a good defensive player, averaging 6 boards, 1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks a game this year.

Nels: Chris Paul. That’s right. Find me someone who increased their assists by nearly 3 per game while decreasing their average turnovers. Find me someone took 400 more shots, while increasing their FG% by 5 points. Paul also increased his FT% by over 3 points, and got almost 1 more steal per game than in the previous season. I know I should try to find someone who fits the mold of a MIP more (i.e., someone who isn’t an MVP candidate), but Chris Paul has to have improved as much as anyone else in the league.

And look at this picture from his NBA.com profile page.

Biggest Disappointment

Nels: My starting bid here is Mike Conley. I was expecting something more along the lines of Chris Paul’s rookie year (16.1 points, 5.1 rebounds, and 7.8 assists) rather than what MC gave us (9 pts, 2.6 rebs, 4.2 ast). I mean, I wasn’t realistically expecting actual Paul performance, but I was looking at something more like 11/4/6. Yeah, not that much of a difference, but Conley also only played 53 games.

Patrick: This one is personal. After a hot finish to 2007 where he was averaging about 20 points a game, I drafted Walter Herrmann as a sleeper in 3 separate leagues, including the CBS 30-man in round 5 when I still didn’t have a starting center (which ultimately was my demise in the playoffs) and a keeper league where I immediately signed him to a 3 year deal. Then I sat in pain and watched him play in a measly 17 games for the Bobcats, averaging 10 minutes and 4 points a game. I got a little hope when he was traded to the Pistons (I still had him in the keeper league), but the playing time was the same, and he finished out the year averaging 7 minutes in 28 games.

Waiver Wire Guy of the Year

Patrick: Jamario Moon. Anytime someone has to ask the people running the league (as in someone asking the CBS employees in the CBS Sports 30-man league) to actually add a player to the list of available free agents so he could be picked up, that’s the waiver wire player of the year in my book. And my runner up would be Beno Udrih, who went from the D-League to starting point guard for the Kings and averaging 5+ assists a game.

Nels: Jamario Moon. Moon was another ROY candidate, and came in pretty close to Durant (3.44 to 3.86 respectively). But, unlike Durant, I’m fairly certain that Moon went undrafted in most - if not all - leagues. Maybe someone took him in Patrick’s 30 team league [Patrick – Moon wasn’t even on the list of available players to be drafted]… Moon’s year end numbers don’t look all that impressive: 8.5, 6.2, 1.2 with 1 steal, 1.4 blocks, and only 0.65 turnovers, but he played in 78 games and considering that he could have been had for the price of a last round flier pick, you could have easily done worse. I know I did in at least one league.

Injury of the Year

Nels: Gilbert Arenas. For someone declared to be a consensus #1 overall pick in August, getting injured 3 weeks into the season and not returning until day 156 (when everyone else decided to return from injury) is Major Payne.

Patrick: There are three major injuries that stick in my head: Elton Brand, Gilbert Arenas, and Andrew Bynum. Everyone knew that Brand was going to miss most, if not all, of the year, so he is out. And while Arenas’ injury came at the beginning of the season, Bynum’s injury is burned into my memory the most. He was out by January 14th and teased owners for the rest of the year.

Biggest Loser

Patrick: The New York Knicks, the worst team in the history of professional sports. Let’s start with the losing. 23-59. Throw in the Isiah Thomas, who destroyed Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry (poor little David Lee didn’t have a chance). The Stephon Marbury experience, complete with sex the back of a truck, skipping games because he was mad at Thomas, being bench by his teammates only to have Isiah play him anyway, season ending ankle surgery in January just because, and this quote: “I’ve got so much shit on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can fuck me, but I’ll fuck him first. You have no idea what I know.” Throw in a sexual-harassment lawsuit, a $160 million payroll, Fire Isiah chants and fans getting thrown out of games, and everything else and you have a biggest loser.

Nels: Eddy Curry. Crap. Nevermind. Curry only dropped 5 places on the GMTR Player Rater from last season. Next up, how about Marco Belinelli? He was taken (probably by me) at number 116 in the GMTR Mock Draft, and ended up at 388 on the Player Rater. Did anyone else actually pick him? I know I did it in at least one league.

Draft This Guy Next Year

Nels: Dwight Howard. I took Howard in the Readers League this year and traded him for Manu Ginobli. At the time I thought that was kind of a stupid thing to do, but since I already had a small ball team, I went with it. Ginobli ended up at 11 (according to NBA.com) while Howard finished at 27, so it was a good trade for me (not that it actually mattered anyway). But next season, Howard is only going to improve his game, and get closer to being the perennial lottery fantasy draft pick that Shaquille O’Neal once was.

Patrick: Zach Randolph. It might sound crazy, but you probably could get Randolph around pick 70-100 in next year’s draft. He finished this season ranked 73 on the rater and with Isiah gone, it can’t get any worse than that, right?

Don’t Draft This Guy Next Year

Patrick: Unless the Raptors trade TJ Ford, avoid Jose Calderon in drafts next year. Nothing against the talented Calderon, who was sweet peaches for Toronto this year, averaging 8+ assists a game (9+ assists in his starts). But the end of this season has shown that the Raptors consider Ford is their starting point guard. As long as he’s healthy, Calderon is going to average around 22 minutes a game. And that’s not worth a high draft pick.

Nels: Jamario Moon. I’m using Moon more as a template of the kind of player you need to watch out for when drafting next season. The kind of player I’m talking about is the one that comes out of no where to have an awesome season (what we call a “sleeper”). The problem is, he’s not a sleeper anymore. Now he’s a player that everyone is going to want to take to look like they know what they’re doing. If you establish a round or specific place in the draft where you’ll take a player like that and don’t get tempted to take them earlier, then, well, that’s what you’re supposed to do anyway. [Patrick - So, what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t draft him like I did Walter Herrmann this year (/taking notes)]

Friday’s Tiny Dancer of the Year

I added this category at the last moment so Nels will have to respond in the comments, but, in the spirit of Friday’s Tiny Dancer, I’ll go with a dancer from the best team in the league this season. First up, the queen bee of the Celtics dancers, Alison:

You can never go wrong with white knee high boots. Never. Finally, Michelle and her barely long enough “jersey” is also enchanting.

Line of the Night: Only 3 games yesterday, but one of them was the epic showdown between the Nuggets and the Warriors for the 8th playoff spot in the West (using the current exchange rate, that roughly translates into the 3rd seed in the East). So, it’s only fitting that Carmelo Anthony (6.0) wins the LotN. I watched most of the game and it was pretty apparent that, when he wanted to, Melo could get to the hoop and score with little trouble. He finished with 25 points off 12-20 shooting and 9 boards. And his score was certainly boosted by the 5 steals and 2 blocks he racked up.

Honorable Mentions: Dirk Nowitzki’s (5.6) Mavs beat the Jazz 97-94, helped by Dirk’s team-high 32 points. He was 4-5 from three, and yet he only had 2 boards and 1 assist. Strange. He must have been helped by that steal and 2 blocks (after a quick check of the various components in the rater… yep. Also the shooting percentages and the threes gave him a big boost. It wasn’t a good night for the three). Allen Iverson (5.1) only had 1 three, but he did score 33 adding 9 assists and 3 steals; and a triple double for the bearded one, Baron Davis (4.6), who finished with 20/10/11. His shooting (9 for 25 overall and 1 of 9 from three) was what did him in.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Luke Walton (5.0) is back after missing 2 games with a hamstring injury. And in 24 minutes, he managed to score 18 points (going 4-5 from three) with 5 boards and 4 assists. With the Lakers fighting for first in the West, I wouldn’t expect to see much more than 24-25 minutes for Walton going forward.

After that? Ah, Brandon Bass (3.8) had 14 points in 16 minutes. That’s pretty cool.

The Biggest Loser: Josh Howard (2.2) left in the third quarter of yesterday’s game with a bruised right knee. But what he had done up to that point was go 1-8 from the floor, scoring 3 points with 4 rebounds and 1 assist in 20 minutes. That was bad enough for me not to give him the pass because of injury.

Dishonorable Mentions: Going into the championship week, you may have picked up Mickael Pietrus (1.6) or Josh Powell (2.1) because of their strong play in the previous week. Unfortunately, that would have been a huge mistake. Pietrus saw 10 minutes in yesterday’s showdown vs. the Nuggets (scoring 0 points), while Powell saw 19 for the Clips, going 0-3 from the field, scoring 2 points with 0 assists. But hey, he did have 6 rebounds.

Friday’s Tiny Dancer

The very sexy Chad, who you may remember from the Nuggets Cheer Team.

No, I wouldn’t do that to you guys. Nels would forever remove me from the Friday shift. Instead, I’ve been trying to figure out which Nuggets dancer has the better name. First up, Caty Sue Green:

Also in the running is Linda Koucky (I’m not sure how you pronounce it, but every way is funny):

Did you ever have “backwards day” in elementary school, where everyone would wear their clothes backwards and the day would be all mixed up? No? Me neither. But let’s make up for lost time with the strange day that was yesterday.

Line of the Night: If you had Al Thornton (5.7) in your lineup yesterday, you lucked into the LotN (or possibly you are psychic). Thornton scored a career-high 39 points, with 5 steals and 3 threes as the Clippers ended a 10-game losing streak. Corey Maggette accurately sums up the Al Thornton fantasy experience:

“He’s kind of a streaky player, so you never know what you’re going to get. But you know he’s going to try to play extremely hard and get the fans involved. There’s still room for improvement, but I’m proud of him. He continues to push. I don’t think I was that good when I was a rookie.”

Honorable Mentions: Baron Davis (4.9) scored 28 points off 4-10 from three, adding 7 assists and 3 steals; Vince Carter (4.8) decided to put some effort into yesterday’s game and had 32/7/6 with 3 threes and a couple steals (although he did have 5 turnovers); god bless Marcus Camby (4.8), otherwise we would never see lines like this – 2! points off 1-4 shooting, 12 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, and 5 blocks; and Amare Stoudemire (4.4) had 33 and 15 for the Suns.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Travis Outlaw (4.8) had the fourth best line yesterday, scoring 26 points while hitting 4 threes in 35 minutes. He also had a couple steals and a block. With Brandon Roy all but shut down for the season, Outlaw will have decent fantasy value for the next few weeks.

Both Drew Gooden and Aaron Gray sat out the Bulls last game with various injuries, so Joakim Noah (4.8) played 39 minutes and earned the fifth best line of the night. He went for a career high 18 points and a career high 15 rebounds, adding 2 steals and 4 blocks; And like a cockroach, Brevin Knight (4.0) refuses to go away. Yesterday, he had 14 points and 11 assists in 35 minutes of hot LA action.

Elton Brand Alert: According to the game recap, “All-Star F Elton Brand, trying desperately to savage something out of this dreadful season for himself and the Clippers, said he hopes to play sometime during the team’s two-game trip through Seattle and Sacramento.”

The Biggest Loser: I didn’t name this backwards day just because of Al Thornton. No, it takes something bigger, something like LeBron James (2.2) to make that happen. LeBron was 4-17 from the floor (1-5 from three) and finished with 13 points, 4 rebounds, 5 assists, and 5 turnovers as the Piston held the Cavs to a lowly 71 points.

Dishonorable Mentions: Helping the Cavs to a dismal game was Zydrunas Ilgauskas, who finished with 11 points off 5-16 shooting, with 5 boards and 0 assists. And while we’re here, why don’t we throw in Wally Szczerbiak (2.2) who shot 3-9 and Sasha Pavlovic (1.5) who was 2-8. I’m amazed the Cavs even scored 71.

And, finally, in honor of backwards day, I give you Los Angelos Clippers Dancer Laura, who hit a behind the back half-court shot during a Clippers game, totally stealing the manhood from the guy who went after her and missed his regular half-court attempt.

Line of the Night: Jason Kidd (6.42) pulled out the first 6+ I’ve seen in a while. Or at least that I remember seeing. And reality and what I remember can be two vastly different things. Kidd had 19 points on 6/11, 4/5 and 3 threes. He also has 15 assists, 4 rebounds (no triple-double??), 5 steals, and - ouch - 6 turnovers. It actually reminds me of this super old school post about Jason Kidd having 6 turnovers.

Honorable Mentions: Allen Iverson (5.41) had 31 points; and in what might be the most incredible Bronze Medal line I’ve ever seen, Baron Davis (5.35) had 12/5/7 with 4 steals and 2 blocks, but shot 4/12 from the field, including 1/5 from three. But, those 2 blocks were as much as anyone else had last night, and the 4 steals were pretty close (see: Jason Kidd, above). Carmelo Anthony (5.28) checked in just under those two, but had what seems to me to be a better game, with 32/10/8 and 2 steals.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Checking in at numero cinco is Steve Blake (4.96) with 22 points, and 6 assists on 8/12 shooting with 4 threes. The funny thing is, I’m seeing (not literally, of course) Steve Blake getting a lot of minutes in Portland, but I’m not seeing him do much. If you need assists, though, say, if you’re going up against a team next week that has Jason Kidd, Steve Nash, or Chris Paul… maybe it’s worth picking up Blake just for that.

The Biggest Loser: A day after his line of 28/9/6 (with 7 threes) Ricky Davis (2.02) played only 1 less minute, but scored 21 less points, shot nearly 40% worse, had 4 less rebounds, and 4 less assists. That’s 7/5/2 for those who can’t do word problems. Wow, Mad Libs and Word Problems. Patrick’s got his TMNT jammies… I think I might still have my She-Ra He-Man action figures somewhere. Maybe underneath my Batman underoos…

Friday’s Tiny Dancer: Wow. Remember how I said that part about my memory at the beginning? No? Don’t worry, neither do I. But I do remember how I just looked up new jersey nets dancers on Google to find a picture for today’s Tiny Dancer. Yeah, Jason Kidd… not so much on the Nets anymore. Too bad, too… because…

and

But both the Nets and Mavericks Dance Teams were eliminated in the first round of this year’s Dance Team Bracket. Probably because Dallas had some idiot pick this picture for them:

Mark, here’s a tip, next year, make them post one of these kinds of pictures:

Today’s Out of Context Quote: “Right from the start we had no sharpness to ourselves at all… I’m lost… I don’t get this game”

-Portland coach Nate McMillen (more or less)

Line of the Night: Technically, today it’s a tie. But since I like Baron Davis’ (6.4) 38/9/8 line with 6 threes and 3 steals a lot more than Amare Stoudemire’s (6.4) 36 and 11 with 4 blocks (10-12 from the line), I’ll give this one to Davis despite the fact that the Warriors lost to the Suns 123-115 yesterday.

Honorable Mentions: Amare; Ron Artest (5.4) is a simple man who likes to shoot the ball (22 points) and rip the ball from your cold, preferably dead, hands (6 steals); 21 points with 13 assists and 4 threes for the (Steve) Nashster (5.2); and Brandon Roy (4.6) had 21/9/6 with a couple steals.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Aleksandar “Sasha” Pavlovic (3.9). Like the Sonics, the Cleveland Cavaliers have learned that the best place for Wally Szczerbiak (2.0) is anywhere but on the basketball court. Yesterday, Devin Brown got some play and earned the WWLotN, and today it’s Pavlovic who appears to have been fully worked back into the Cavs rotation. He got 28 minutes last night and finished with 5 threes and 24 points.

Also Rising: If Delonte West (4.1) is available in your league, pick him up, because he shouldn’t be; as Farid of Fantasy Basketball Pros noticed a couple days ago, Mickael Pietrus (3.7) is starting for the Warriors over Andris Biedrins and has been putting up some good board and steal numbers (8 and 2 yesterday); and, I’m just throwing this out there, do whatever you want with this information, but the Vanilla Gorilla Joel Przybilla (3.6) had 10 rebounds and 3 blocks. I’m just saying.

Welcome Back: Caron Butler (2.6) returned to the Wizards on his birthday and played a whopping 42 minutes, scoring 19 and adding 6 boards. I’m all for getting the guy back on the court, but 42 minutes after missing the previous 16 games? Isn’t that a tiny bit excessive?

The Biggest Loser: Today, it’s Kevin Martin (1.8) by the distance a Zach Randolph three misses the rim; it’s not even close. Martin scored 6 points off 2-11 shooting, adding 2 rebounds, 1 assist and 4 turnovers in 25 minutes of play. You can blame this one on Tom Ziller, who predicted Martin would go off against the Blazers (it was almost as good as my Louis Williams prediction).

Friday’s Tiny Dancer: I will try and do Nels proud with today’s selection. In honor of Baron Davis, today we have Golden State Warrior Girl Alexis.

There’s a lot to like about Alexis. Not only does she blog, but her favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber, her favorite food is hamburgers, and her favorite kind of dancing is street jazz. Yes, street jazz. That’s my favorite too! We should meet, I’m a big fan of hamburgers as well. Oh, and I almost forgot, Alexis has a twin sister named Lauren. Mmmmmmmmmm……….

Since there’s some news of the Heat, now seems like a good time to chime in. Starting right now, and continuing through April 3rd, you can vote for your favorite NBA Dance Team. It’s like March Madness, except the cheerleaders dancers just show their mini dresses and underwear instead of full frontal nudity. All classy like.

Last year’s Dance Team Champs: Miami Heat Dancers

And they’re going to be tough to be again this year if Natalie has anything to say about it.

No fantasy basketball related shenanigans last night. Only the sophomores putting the annual beat down on the rookies 136-109 in the NBA Rookie Challenge. And with nothing better to do on a Saturday morning, why not run the game through the player rater and see what happens?

Line of the Night: Funny things happen when you run one game through a rater. Daniel Gibson (5.7) took home the game MVP, going 11-20 for three and finishing with 33 points. 11 threes! Someone get a hand in his face! I fully expected Boobie to moonwalk to the LotN. Instead, it was Jordan Farmar (6.2) – the guy feeding Gibson all those shots - who finished with the highest game score. Farmar only scored 17, but he dished out 12 assists, had 4 steals and 3 threes himself. Farmar clearly studied up on the winning philosophy of Hubie Brown (yes, this sentence is just an excuse to link to an amazing Hubie Brown video).

Rookie Line of the Night: That would be Al Horford (2.3), who scored 19 points off 8-10 shooting and added 7 boards. Although Tom Ziller over at Fanhouse was a little bored with Horford leaning heavily on the post moves. Maybe Al didn’t get the memo that this was an all-star game. We want to see guys shooting 20 threes, not a bunch of post moves. Kevin Durant (1.7) was also pretty good with his 23/8/4 line, but (ready for this) he didn’t shoot particularly well and had 5 turnovers.

The Biggest Loser: Jeff Green (-4.6) saw the most minutes out of anyone on both sides and used it to shoot 4-12 from the floor. Bargnani (-4.7) had the worst game for the Sophs, finishing with 8/0/1 in 17 minutes.

If that recap was more fun than you could handle, here’s the rest of the lineup for All-Star weekend.

Saturday
3:00PM EST: D-League All Star Game (NBA TV)
8:00PM EST: Shooting Stars (Man, I hope Bill Laimbeer shows up for this again)
9:00PM EST: Skills Challenge
9:30PM EST: Three-Point Shootout
10:00PM EST: Slam Dunk Contest

Sunday
8:30PM EST: 57th NBA All-Star Game

Yep, I admit it. I’m a fan of NBA All-Star weekend, especially the three-point and dunk contests. The NBA says the Saturday night stuff starts at 8, but last year I tuned in at 9 and they were still running with the shooting stars challenge (god knows what crap was on before that).

The skills challenge lineup looks good on paper (Jason Kidd, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, and Dwyane Wade). At least we won’t have to watch a bored Lebron James jogging around the court giving about 20% effort. And the dunk contest should be intense this year. I’m glad Dwight Howard returned to extract his revenge. If there’s one thing I absolutely want to see this weekend, it’s this:

A little of this would have been good too (Sadly, there is no All-Star Dance Team this year):