Give Me The Rock » NBA Cheerleaders

Day 59 of 170: Merry Christmas to All, and Peace on Earth to Everyone Else

Nels — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 15:39:52 +0000

My Christmas gift this year was to draw the actual Christmas Day post. Since the NBA has gone the Hollywood route and realized that no one actually wants to spend time with their in-laws on Christmas, they need something to distract them. And what better distraction than Cleveland @ LAL? I’m sure the NBA was hoping that Blake Griffin would be playing by now so that LAC @ Phoenix would be a decent game. What would be more interesting, though, would be to schedule the Lakers and Clippers to play in the same arena, the same day, and just close enough so that the fans could get into brawls if they were drunk enough from the eggnog and spiked cider.

My parents are actually going to be at the Portland/Denver game tonight, in the 100-Level no less. But they have a friend who gets First Class tickets a lot, so it’s not even big deal to them. My mom was thinking about not going until I told her that the Nuggets were actually good. Of course, now that the Blazers are going to face them without Oden, Pryzbilla, and probably not Brandon Roy either… maybe they should have sold the tickets and used the money to buy me my dog more presents.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, I liked what Patrick did for the pic in yesterday’s post. So, here’s to ladies in Santa outfits…

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Day 38 of 170: Vlad is Rad

Nels — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:49:06 +0000

Line of the Night: / Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Vladimir Radmanovic (1.17) is not the first WWLotN to also get the overall LotN, but he is the only player in the NBA with a VL in his name. He’s also the only player to get 20 points (4 threes), 8 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals last night. Unfortunately, that performance wasn’t enough to get a W for the W’s. I’d argue that he’s trending upwards, but since he’s only owned in 5% of leagues, you can probably afford to wait another couple games to see if that theory holds.

Honorable Mentions: Carl Landry (1.02) (and the other Rockets) proved that the Warriors are still every bit as much fantasy gold as the team that is almost as far away as you can get in the NBA (that would be the Knicks). Landry had 22 and 9 with 2 steals and 3 blocks. Aaron Brooks (0.97) had 25 points including 5 three-pointers. Shane Battier (0.80) had 10 and 10 with 4 assists and 6 blocks.

The Biggest Loser: Richard Jefferson (-0.43) has turned into the opposite of fantasy dynamite. Last night he was even worse than that, though, shooting 23% to end with 6 points. He added 4 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 steals. Yee-ha.

All Eyez On Me: A little bit of Miami at Los Angeles Lakers anyone? D-Wade, Kobe, Beasley, Bynum? Could be a 2011 Finals matchup (if the Heat end up with Chris Bosh, of course).

Also, Boston is in Oklahoma City, who is running around with a 10-8 record so far this season. The Kids Are Alright.

The Kids Are Alright – The Who

The Golden Ticket: New York is in Atlanta tonight, so Fly, Hawks, Fly!

Friday’s Tiny Dancer: Here’s Radman’s reward (click to enlarge):

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Day 29 of 170: The Golden Scrolls – Morrowind

Nels — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:47:06 +0000

Yes, I know it’s a lame title, but look! Cheerleader!

Line of the Night: The internets are abuzz today and the name on the tip of everyone’s tongue is Anthony Morrow (1.28). Morrow and his band of might Warriors took down the streaking Mavericks as though there were a new deputy in town. Morrow made 6 threes en route to 27 points, adding 9 rebounds, 5 assists and 3 steals in the process.

Honorable Mentions: Danny Granger (0.98) was also dialing from distance for dollars last night, connecting on 7 threes and tallying 36 points. Granger matched Morrow’s 9 rebounds and 5 assists, but fell short in steals, and shot only 40% from the floor.

Kevin Durant (0.85) made 11 of his 22 shots, scoring 28 points with 5 boards and 8 assists. The kid could be good.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Everyone’s favorite guy with two first names: Jarrett Jack (0.71) finally played like I thought he would when I drafted him far too many times in far too many leagues. Jack made all 7 of his shots (which will probably never happen again, so don’t use that as a factor in your decision to pick him up), and ended up with 18 points, 3 rebounds, and 6 assists.

The Biggest Loser: Deron Williams (-0.41) was really battling it out for the award last night. Elton Brand (-0.40) was a close second with his 4 points in 27 minutes, but Deron brought home the bacon with a near quadruple-double: 10 points, 7 rebounds, 9 assists, and 7 turnovers. He also missed both of his free throw attempts, and only shot 35% from the field. Jason Kidd anyone?

All Eyez On Me: Before we get to Orlando at Atlanta on Turkey Day, we have to sit through a bunch of good teams playing a bunch of bad teams. Do you think the NBA scheduled it that way on purpose? I mean, the best thing going is Dallas @ Houston. I’m sure the Texans out there are all in a tizzy, but I could, well, I guess I could care less… for example: Denver at Minnesota. There’s a matchup.

The Golden Ticket: Luckily for us fantasy players, Golden State will continue through Texas, stopping San Antonio. Will the Spurs be able to slow talk them into only 90 points?

New York is playing Sacramento, so look out for Knicks and Kings tonight! And Phoenix is playing Memphis, so that should work out well for somebody, right?

And since I still feel bad about the downtime last week (and because I’m moving the site again, and hoping to get in everyone’s good graces in advance): Cheerleader 2!

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Hawks A-Town Dancer Making a New Name For Herself

Nels — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:32:25 +0000

I’m afraid this is just too awesome not to post.

First, please go to this post from 2 seasons ago. The immediately relevant part is the first A-Town Dancer you see there.

Okay, back? If you didn’t bother looking, let me just tell you there was a picture of (now former) Hawks A-Town Dancer. Why is that relevant?

Said, Hawks dancer, who’s real name is Briana, is now making money entertaining men in a different sort of way. And she’s probably getting a lot more of said money than she did as a dancer. She is making porn. Well, she’s not really the one making it, but she’s starring in it.

I almost laughed out loud when I first read this, but then I turned off SafeSearch and did a Google Image Search for Brandy Blair.

I know what you’re saying, that looks pretty tame… but notice the watermark. It doesn’t say Give Me The Rock, that’s for sure. And by now, you’ve probably also noticed the pics below…

So, it’s not like she got a tattoo that says: “I’m doing it for money” but those are the tame ones. Try an image search yourself, and I think you’ll find the proof is in the pudding. And by pudding, I mean, well… you know.

Thanks: Guyism

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Where Have You Gone Friday’s Tiny Dancer

Patrick — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:40:05 +0000

It is mid-summer, which can only mean one thing (in addition to my manscaping routine being in full go-mode): NBA dance team auditions are going on across the county. A lot of them have already happened, including the big one: the Laker Girl tryouts. According to my new favorite website – UtimateCheerleaders.com – 500 dancers showed up in El Segundo to try out for 22 spots in the Laker Girls squad.

Hey, and they have video of the thing. You’ve got to ask yourself, what the hell are some of these girls thinking?

The site also keeps us all up to date on audition dates for every NBA team. For the thousands of beautiful female readers that we have in the Chicago area, the Chicago LuvaBulls are holding their auditions on Saturday, August 1st. I think it’s about time that GMTR puts a man on the ground to attend this thing in person and report back on the festivities (…looking in Nels’ direction).

And if you think the point of this post is just to show cheerleader pictures, well you’re dead wrong. It’s to show cheerleader pictures and try AND to try to coerce Nels to attend one of these things.

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Dwight Howard: Prince of the Paint

Erik — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:28:26 +0000

At this point in the season, I believe that there is no real contender to Dwight Howard’s being the Best Big Man in the NBA. I called him out as a fantasy force over at Points in the Paint early in the pre-season and addressed his definitive advantage in the head to head format while admitting that he is still a rotisserie liability. I had him floating just outside the TOP 10-12 guys in my Top 72 players for head to head. As of December 1st, my list’s last update, I probably too generously placed him at 8th. Which reminds me… I’ll be updating my head to head mini-Big Board soon.

Dwight is the hands down best big ball strategy core player so far into this season. In general, free throw percentage is given up in the strategy so Dwight’s “drawback” in that cat is far less painful in head to head as compared to roto.

It’s the BLOCKS baby!

images via www.orlandosentinel.com through Yahoo! images

His immense fantasy power today comes from the leap in his blocking average. From 2.2 last season to 3.2 this year.

Check out his line-to-date: 20.2 PPG, 13.8 RPG, 1.5 APG, 1.0 SPG, 3.2 BPG, 57.8 FG% (12.1 attempts), 58 FT% (10.9 attempts), 2.7 TOs, through 36:12 MPG

Other notable contending big men are:

Marcus Camby: 12.1 PPG, 13.9 RPG, 2.1 APG, 1.0 SPG, 2.7 BPG, 50.2 FG% (9.4 attempts), 72.2 FT% (3.7 attempts), 1.6 TOs

Andris Biedrins: 13.9 PPG, 12.0 RPG, 2.0 APG, 1.3 SPG, 1.7 BPG, 55.8 FG% (10.2 attempts), 55.7 FT% (4.6 attempts), 2.0 TOs

Tim Duncan: 20.4 PPG, 10.1 RPG, 3.6 APG, o.5 SPG, 1.8 BPG, 51.4 FG% (15.6 attempts), 68.7 FT% (6.3 attempts), 2.2 TOs

Fine, he no longer has a perfect NBA attendance record on his sheet, but his stat bumps are worth it – fantasy value-wise.

Combine Dwight with anyone of these 3 and you’ve got yourself a definitive dominant edge in the big man numbers in fantasy head to head. Personally speaking, I would prefer to have paired him up with TD. Their combined shot volume from the field will give almost any team an almost sure W in the FG cat.

Enter…

The “Double -D” combo of Dwight and Duncan:

I know of at least 3 fantasy managers who have chosen to build their fantasy teams around D-Ho and Timmy-D. Combining these 2 guys give those teams what I call a consolidation of power and resources. Which basically means needing less players to dominate key categories of choice. This concept is even more valuable and important in deeper leagues. Hmm… I think I should write about this in more depth in a separate post. Anyway… Yes, one of those 3 guys is in my 18-man head to head league. You can imagine how he’s been owning the other teams in the big man cats!

We are pretty much in week 12 of 24 in the head to head calendar – the half way mark. It’s time for the cellar dwellers to make their key trades and moves to get their teams’ butts in gear for that second half push. If you’re playing the big man game and you own Dwight on your fantasy team, kudos to you on your choice. Build around him and you’ve got a solid base for the big cats.

I personally think Dwight was really planning on doing a lot more shot blocking this season. Here he is talking about the “The Art of the Block” in an interview sometime before the season began.

I sadly didn’t get to build any big ball teams around Dwight this season. But you can now officially consider me a “D-Ho” for him for next year, if ever I decide to go the big man strategy!

To make this an official GMTR take, here are what Nels and Patrick have to say about Dwight Howard and his season so far:

Nels

Okay, I’ll admit it: Dwight is a lot higher than I expected him to be this season. He’s at number 21 and 11 on the player rater (depending if you have turnovers of not), both of which are higher than his average ranking on the mock draft spreadsheet, and a lot higher than both Patrick and I had him on our Big Board (which was at 55).

His numbers are what I expected, with the sole exception of the 3.2 blocks per game, and really, I think that’s what’s got him that high up the rankings. Player Raters love defense, and 3.2 blocks a game is bordering on the believability of a Gossip Girl plot line. I mean, he’s beating Marcus Camby by more than a half a block per game.

Hindsight is 20/20, as they say, but Howard would have been a much better 3rd round pick in the 10-team Battle of the Bloggers League than my pick of David West (adding to LeBron James and Al Jefferson).

Patrick

The majority of the talk about Dwight Howard going into the season (at least coming out of GMTR) had to do with Dwight Howard’s free throw percentage and how it affected his value. I’ll do something dangerous and actually look back at the Dwight Howard prediction from our player guide:

“It’s hard to say if he can best position 73, though, since he doesn’t seem like he’s going to improve his FT shooting, and his turnovers are still very high. I would go as high as late 4th round if you believe in his upside.”

Ouch. That is what you call a buy oil before it hits $200 a barrel type prediction. Not our best moment. Interestingly enough, Howard has spit in our faces by NOT improving his free throw percentage at all and yet becoming a great fantasy player (at least through this point in the season). He’s shooting 58% from the line in 08-09 compared to 60% last season. Most of his other stats are on par with last season as well.

Basically, Howard has increased his value due to two stats: turnovers and blocks. His turnovers have gone down from 3.2 a game to 2.7 and his blocks have increased from 2.2 to 3.2. So, for Howard to maintain his ridiculous fantasy value he’ll have to maintain those numbers, which I think is unlikely, but not completely out of the question. He’s averaged 2.7 turnovers or less a game a couple times in his career already, so that seems possible. His blocks are a career high by a wide margin. I can see some regression as the season moves along, but he has increased his block totals every year he’s been in the league, so it’s likely he’ll finish the year north of 2.1 blocks a game (his career block trajectory would put him somewhere in the 2.5 block a game range).

~0~

Since it’s GMTR policy for me to fulfill a cheerleader quota and I, of course, wouldn’t want to void my fantasy multi-million dollar contract with the team, here’s my token Orlando Magic Dancer pic:

image by nolimits via Flickr

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Day 10 of 170: Where Brandon Roy Happens

Nels — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:35:51 +0000

Okay, so the headline is kind of misleading since Brandon Roy was actually 30th out of 39 players last night. But watching his last-less-than-a-second shot crystallized the difference between fantasy and reality. There is a game we play, and it’s not always the game they play. But this blog is about the game WE play, so let’s get back to it.

Line of the Night: In the loss, Tracy McGrady (0.90) had 28/6/8 on a very good (for him) 47% of 23 shots, adding 2 steals and a block. That’s some vintage first/second round T-Mac right there.

Honorable Mentions: He’s not Mr. Double-Double yet, but I picked him up a few days ago in the GMTR Readers League: Travis Outlaw (0.83) had 14/13/1 with 2 threes, a steal, and 2 blocks.

Hedo Turkoglu (0.79) had 20/8/3 with 2 threes, 2 steals, and a block. LaMarcus Aldridge (0.64) could have been a Bull, but instead we have Mr. Consistency and a white guy who is, I guess, still on the roster. Meanwhile, Aldridge had 25/9/2 with 3 blocks while making 63% of 19 shots.

Jameer Nelson (0.60) had 16/4/9 with a three and 2 steals on 50% from the floor.
Rashard Lewis (0.46) had 20/8/4 with 3 threes and a steal, but only shot 35% from the field and 60% from the line.
Finally, Samuel Dalembert (0.42) had 10/14/1 with 2 blocks and shot 62.5%.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Clearly if Travis Outlaw is available, he’s the go to guy for last night. He only shot 41.7%, but the good thing is that means he qualifies under Patrick’s Less Than 70% rule.

I’m going to end it there because really, the other guys who might be available only made the list because there were only two games last night.

The Biggest Loser: Stephon Marbury, who is evidently contemplating a training stint with Lincoln High School in New York. Ouch. Nothing like getting kicked out of the NBA to help coach your high school basketball team.

Really, though… my man crush Elton Brand (-0.38) went 3/8 last night for 6 points. He did have 12 rebounds, but he missed both free throw opportunities, and didn’t get a steal or block a shot. Not gonna cut it for a first round pick.

All Eyez On Me: This is the inaugural edition of AEOM. I just made it up yesterday, but Patrick agreed it was a cool idea, so here goes. Basically, I was feeling like there’s so many ways to watch basketball these days and so many games available on a typical night (even if you don’t have cable, like me), you may want (or not, in which case, you can skip down to the next section) some advice on which will be the most interesting games from a Fantasy Perspective. If this ends up being more trouble than it’s worth, we reserve the right to discontinue it at any time. That said, there’s a lot of games on tonight…

New York @ Washington: I think most people are still trying to figure out which Knicks are going to be the fantasy stars, so anytime there’s a Knicks game, it’s probably worth watching.

Minnesota @ Sacramento: The Return of Brad Miller. What’s going to happen to everyone’s favorite early pickups Spencer Hawes and Jason Thompson?

Detroit @ New Jersey: AI.

Dallas @ Denver: Chauncey.

Friday’s Tiny Dancer: I watched parts of the ORL/PHI game last night on TNT’s OverTime streaming thing (there was a link from Yahoo’s NBA page – don’t ask me how to get there if you’re actually looking for it), and if you like being at the game more than watching a broadcast, this might be for you. There’s no commercials so instead they show the arena during the breaks. And by arena, I mean you get to see the dance teams in action. Last night, Philly was in Orlando (I should have stayed up for the other game, but since it was in Portland, that wasn’t going to happen). In honor of the Magic win and me watching the game in their arena…

Rachael:

And a bonus, Brittany:

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Day 171 of 170: What, the Regular Season is Over? (End of the Year Awards)

Patrick — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:24:08 +0000

I had an empty feeling in my stomach this weekend because there were no regular season games to recap (although the playoffs started on an exciting note). But after investing 170 days of our lives, it’s only fitting to recap the best and worst of the season that was. What do you say, Nels?

Let’s start with the fantasy MVP

Nels: Chris Paul. I mean, as much as I was going with the Heart thing as kind of a running joke (for me, at least) I came to real that Paul really was the fantasy basketball MVP this year. Also, interesting to note that even though Kobe played 2 more game than CP3, their Fantasy Scores are actually closer when you look at Average stats than totals.

Patrick: Chris Paul. He finished the season number 1 on the GMTR player rater by a Chicago mile (both with turnovers and without – which is a big deal – since LeBron went from 2nd to 4th when turnovers were included). What more can I say about Chris Paul that I haven’t already said a thousand times? Not much. I would take him number 1 again next year without a worry.

Line of the Year

Patrick: After digging through 170 days worth of lines, I like Lebron James’ 50 points, 8 rebounds, 10 assists and 4 steals on Day 128, Kobe’s 53 points, 10 rebounds, 3 steals, and 9 threes on Day 151, Chris Paul’s 42 points, 5 rebounds, 9 assists, 4 threes, and 8 steals on Day 100, and Baron Davis’ 33/11/15 with 5 threes on Day 25. I’m tempted to throw in Marcus Camby’s line of 8 points, 24 rebounds, and 11 blocked shots. But he didn’t even get LotN that day, so I guess I’d go with Lebron on Day 128. He had 4-5 jaw dropping lines during the year, so he gets the award for style and consistency.

Nels: It’s probably not physically the best line, but with 39 points and 5 threes on 14/28 and 6/7, alongside 11 rebounds, 8 assists and 2 steals, Kobe Bryant’s game on Dec. 23, 2007 was one of the few Lines of the Night that I can remember that got to a 7 on NBA.com’s Player Rater.

Rookie of the Year

Nels: Kevin Durant is the first rookie listed on NBA.com’s Player Rater. He’s at number 61, which seems pretty high for a rookie.

Patrick: Kevin Durant: As much as I like Al Horford (not particularly that much) facts are facts. Despite all the press about how Durant “can’t shoot” or “play defense” or “doesn’t rebound” or “isn’t a shooting guard”, he finished ranked 60 on the GMTR rater to Horford’s 103. Hell, Horford isn’t even the rookie runner-up as Jamario Moon finished at 99. It wasn’t a glorious season for the Sonics (that’s a bit of an understatement) but Durant led the Sonics as well as any other 19-year-old in the history of the game and he finished the season averaging 20.3 points and 89% from the line.

Most Improved Player

Patrick: I’ll go with Danny Granger, who finished the year ranked #25 on the GMTR rater, ahead of Jason Kidd, Andre Iguodala, Vince Carter, and Gerald Wallace. Granger took control of a Pacers team that missed Jermaine O’Neal for 40 games this year, and he went from a 14 point a game guy to a 20 point a game guy, with 2.1 threes to boot. He’s also a good defensive player, averaging 6 boards, 1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks a game this year.

Nels: Chris Paul. That’s right. Find me someone who increased their assists by nearly 3 per game while decreasing their average turnovers. Find me someone took 400 more shots, while increasing their FG% by 5 points. Paul also increased his FT% by over 3 points, and got almost 1 more steal per game than in the previous season. I know I should try to find someone who fits the mold of a MIP more (i.e., someone who isn’t an MVP candidate), but Chris Paul has to have improved as much as anyone else in the league.

And look at this picture from his NBA.com profile page.

Biggest Disappointment

Nels: My starting bid here is Mike Conley. I was expecting something more along the lines of Chris Paul’s rookie year (16.1 points, 5.1 rebounds, and 7.8 assists) rather than what MC gave us (9 pts, 2.6 rebs, 4.2 ast). I mean, I wasn’t realistically expecting actual Paul performance, but I was looking at something more like 11/4/6. Yeah, not that much of a difference, but Conley also only played 53 games.

Patrick: This one is personal. After a hot finish to 2007 where he was averaging about 20 points a game, I drafted Walter Herrmann as a sleeper in 3 separate leagues, including the CBS 30-man in round 5 when I still didn’t have a starting center (which ultimately was my demise in the playoffs) and a keeper league where I immediately signed him to a 3 year deal. Then I sat in pain and watched him play in a measly 17 games for the Bobcats, averaging 10 minutes and 4 points a game. I got a little hope when he was traded to the Pistons (I still had him in the keeper league), but the playing time was the same, and he finished out the year averaging 7 minutes in 28 games.

Waiver Wire Guy of the Year

Patrick: Jamario Moon. Anytime someone has to ask the people running the league (as in someone asking the CBS employees in the CBS Sports 30-man league) to actually add a player to the list of available free agents so he could be picked up, that’s the waiver wire player of the year in my book. And my runner up would be Beno Udrih, who went from the D-League to starting point guard for the Kings and averaging 5+ assists a game.

Nels: Jamario Moon. Moon was another ROY candidate, and came in pretty close to Durant (3.44 to 3.86 respectively). But, unlike Durant, I’m fairly certain that Moon went undrafted in most – if not all – leagues. Maybe someone took him in Patrick’s 30 team league [Patrick – Moon wasn’t even on the list of available players to be drafted]… Moon’s year end numbers don’t look all that impressive: 8.5, 6.2, 1.2 with 1 steal, 1.4 blocks, and only 0.65 turnovers, but he played in 78 games and considering that he could have been had for the price of a last round flier pick, you could have easily done worse. I know I did in at least one league.

Injury of the Year

Nels: Gilbert Arenas. For someone declared to be a consensus #1 overall pick in August, getting injured 3 weeks into the season and not returning until day 156 (when everyone else decided to return from injury) is Major Payne.

Patrick: There are three major injuries that stick in my head: Elton Brand, Gilbert Arenas, and Andrew Bynum. Everyone knew that Brand was going to miss most, if not all, of the year, so he is out. And while Arenas’ injury came at the beginning of the season, Bynum’s injury is burned into my memory the most. He was out by January 14th and teased owners for the rest of the year.

Biggest Loser

Patrick: The New York Knicks, the worst team in the history of professional sports. Let’s start with the losing. 23-59. Throw in the Isiah Thomas, who destroyed Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry (poor little David Lee didn’t have a chance). The Stephon Marbury experience, complete with sex the back of a truck, skipping games because he was mad at Thomas, being bench by his teammates only to have Isiah play him anyway, season ending ankle surgery in January just because, and this quote: “I’ve got so much shit on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can fuck me, but I’ll fuck him first. You have no idea what I know.” Throw in a sexual-harassment lawsuit, a $160 million payroll, Fire Isiah chants and fans getting thrown out of games, and everything else and you have a biggest loser.

Nels: Eddy Curry. Crap. Nevermind. Curry only dropped 5 places on the GMTR Player Rater from last season. Next up, how about Marco Belinelli? He was taken (probably by me) at number 116 in the GMTR Mock Draft, and ended up at 388 on the Player Rater. Did anyone else actually pick him? I know I did it in at least one league.

Draft This Guy Next Year

Nels: Dwight Howard. I took Howard in the Readers League this year and traded him for Manu Ginobli. At the time I thought that was kind of a stupid thing to do, but since I already had a small ball team, I went with it. Ginobli ended up at 11 (according to NBA.com) while Howard finished at 27, so it was a good trade for me (not that it actually mattered anyway). But next season, Howard is only going to improve his game, and get closer to being the perennial lottery fantasy draft pick that Shaquille O’Neal once was.

Patrick: Zach Randolph. It might sound crazy, but you probably could get Randolph around pick 70-100 in next year’s draft. He finished this season ranked 73 on the rater and with Isiah gone, it can’t get any worse than that, right?

Don’t Draft This Guy Next Year

Patrick: Unless the Raptors trade TJ Ford, avoid Jose Calderon in drafts next year. Nothing against the talented Calderon, who was sweet peaches for Toronto this year, averaging 8+ assists a game (9+ assists in his starts). But the end of this season has shown that the Raptors consider Ford is their starting point guard. As long as he’s healthy, Calderon is going to average around 22 minutes a game. And that’s not worth a high draft pick.

Nels: Jamario Moon. I’m using Moon more as a template of the kind of player you need to watch out for when drafting next season. The kind of player I’m talking about is the one that comes out of no where to have an awesome season (what we call a “sleeper”). The problem is, he’s not a sleeper anymore. Now he’s a player that everyone is going to want to take to look like they know what they’re doing. If you establish a round or specific place in the draft where you’ll take a player like that and don’t get tempted to take them earlier, then, well, that’s what you’re supposed to do anyway. [Patrick - So, what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t draft him like I did Walter Herrmann this year (/taking notes)]

Friday’s Tiny Dancer of the Year

I added this category at the last moment so Nels will have to respond in the comments, but, in the spirit of Friday’s Tiny Dancer, I’ll go with a dancer from the best team in the league this season. First up, the queen bee of the Celtics dancers, Alison:

You can never go wrong with white knee high boots. Never. Finally, Michelle and her barely long enough “jersey” is also enchanting.

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Day 164 of 170: Nuggets Have Hand

Patrick — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:13:04 +0000

Line of the Night: Only 3 games yesterday, but one of them was the epic showdown between the Nuggets and the Warriors for the 8th playoff spot in the West (using the current exchange rate, that roughly translates into the 3rd seed in the East). So, it’s only fitting that Carmelo Anthony (6.0) wins the LotN. I watched most of the game and it was pretty apparent that, when he wanted to, Melo could get to the hoop and score with little trouble. He finished with 25 points off 12-20 shooting and 9 boards. And his score was certainly boosted by the 5 steals and 2 blocks he racked up.

Honorable Mentions: Dirk Nowitzki’s (5.6) Mavs beat the Jazz 97-94, helped by Dirk’s team-high 32 points. He was 4-5 from three, and yet he only had 2 boards and 1 assist. Strange. He must have been helped by that steal and 2 blocks (after a quick check of the various components in the rater… yep. Also the shooting percentages and the threes gave him a big boost. It wasn’t a good night for the three). Allen Iverson (5.1) only had 1 three, but he did score 33 adding 9 assists and 3 steals; and a triple double for the bearded one, Baron Davis (4.6), who finished with 20/10/11. His shooting (9 for 25 overall and 1 of 9 from three) was what did him in.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Luke Walton (5.0) is back after missing 2 games with a hamstring injury. And in 24 minutes, he managed to score 18 points (going 4-5 from three) with 5 boards and 4 assists. With the Lakers fighting for first in the West, I wouldn’t expect to see much more than 24-25 minutes for Walton going forward.

After that? Ah, Brandon Bass (3.8) had 14 points in 16 minutes. That’s pretty cool.

The Biggest Loser: Josh Howard (2.2) left in the third quarter of yesterday’s game with a bruised right knee. But what he had done up to that point was go 1-8 from the floor, scoring 3 points with 4 rebounds and 1 assist in 20 minutes. That was bad enough for me not to give him the pass because of injury.

Dishonorable Mentions: Going into the championship week, you may have picked up Mickael Pietrus (1.6) or Josh Powell (2.1) because of their strong play in the previous week. Unfortunately, that would have been a huge mistake. Pietrus saw 10 minutes in yesterday’s showdown vs. the Nuggets (scoring 0 points), while Powell saw 19 for the Clips, going 0-3 from the field, scoring 2 points with 0 assists. But hey, he did have 6 rebounds.

Friday’s Tiny Dancer

The very sexy Chad, who you may remember from the Nuggets Cheer Team.

No, I wouldn’t do that to you guys. Nels would forever remove me from the Friday shift. Instead, I’ve been trying to figure out which Nuggets dancer has the better name. First up, Caty Sue Green:

Also in the running is Linda Koucky (I’m not sure how you pronounce it, but every way is funny):

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Day 152 of 170: Backwards Day

Patrick — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 12:37:13 +0000

Did you ever have “backwards day” in elementary school, where everyone would wear their clothes backwards and the day would be all mixed up? No? Me neither. But let’s make up for lost time with the strange day that was yesterday.

Line of the Night: If you had Al Thornton (5.7) in your lineup yesterday, you lucked into the LotN (or possibly you are psychic). Thornton scored a career-high 39 points, with 5 steals and 3 threes as the Clippers ended a 10-game losing streak. Corey Maggette accurately sums up the Al Thornton fantasy experience:

“He’s kind of a streaky player, so you never know what you’re going to get. But you know he’s going to try to play extremely hard and get the fans involved. There’s still room for improvement, but I’m proud of him. He continues to push. I don’t think I was that good when I was a rookie.”

Honorable Mentions: Baron Davis (4.9) scored 28 points off 4-10 from three, adding 7 assists and 3 steals; Vince Carter (4.8) decided to put some effort into yesterday’s game and had 32/7/6 with 3 threes and a couple steals (although he did have 5 turnovers); god bless Marcus Camby (4.8), otherwise we would never see lines like this – 2! points off 1-4 shooting, 12 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, and 5 blocks; and Amare Stoudemire (4.4) had 33 and 15 for the Suns.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Travis Outlaw (4.8) had the fourth best line yesterday, scoring 26 points while hitting 4 threes in 35 minutes. He also had a couple steals and a block. With Brandon Roy all but shut down for the season, Outlaw will have decent fantasy value for the next few weeks.

Both Drew Gooden and Aaron Gray sat out the Bulls last game with various injuries, so Joakim Noah (4.8) played 39 minutes and earned the fifth best line of the night. He went for a career high 18 points and a career high 15 rebounds, adding 2 steals and 4 blocks; And like a cockroach, Brevin Knight (4.0) refuses to go away. Yesterday, he had 14 points and 11 assists in 35 minutes of hot LA action.

Elton Brand Alert: According to the game recap, “All-Star F Elton Brand, trying desperately to savage something out of this dreadful season for himself and the Clippers, said he hopes to play sometime during the team’s two-game trip through Seattle and Sacramento.”

The Biggest Loser: I didn’t name this backwards day just because of Al Thornton. No, it takes something bigger, something like LeBron James (2.2) to make that happen. LeBron was 4-17 from the floor (1-5 from three) and finished with 13 points, 4 rebounds, 5 assists, and 5 turnovers as the Piston held the Cavs to a lowly 71 points.

Dishonorable Mentions: Helping the Cavs to a dismal game was Zydrunas Ilgauskas, who finished with 11 points off 5-16 shooting, with 5 boards and 0 assists. And while we’re here, why don’t we throw in Wally Szczerbiak (2.2) who shot 3-9 and Sasha Pavlovic (1.5) who was 2-8. I’m amazed the Cavs even scored 71.

And, finally, in honor of backwards day, I give you Los Angelos Clippers Dancer Laura, who hit a behind the back half-court shot during a Clippers game, totally stealing the manhood from the guy who went after her and missed his regular half-court attempt.

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