Give Me The Rock

It’s hard to like a team with James Posey on it, but it’s also hard to like the group of Lame-O players clustered around LeBron James.

I don’t remember where I read about it first, but someone noticed how in those There Can Be Only One commercials how they two players’ eyes always blink at the same time.

Here’s a really noticeable example.

Seriously? I am starting to think they’re fake. Or at the very least, heavily digitally edited. I mean, is it really possible that in every ad, two different people blink at the exact same time? I don’t think so. I think they probably edited it because someone found it distracting when they blinked at different times.

Whatever the case, they are really cool ads, but I do have a hard time watching them now without noticing the blinking. And now I inflict that suffering on you as well.

I was going to actually write something about the whole DeShawn-LeBron-Soulja-Boy-Jay-Z thing, but I’ll just do a quick recap in case anyone missed it:

0. Evidently, LeBron said the Wizards suck.
1. Publicly, DeShawn Stevenson said LeBron was overrated.
2. LeBron said that responding to DeShawn would be like Jay-Z responding to Soulja Boy.
3. Soulja boy showed up at Game 3.
4. Jay-Z recorded a track dissing DeShawn (you can download it at the link up there)

I’m pretty sure R. Kelly is orchestrating this whole thing. Just you wait. When a midget shows up in the beef, then you’ll believe me.

I’m cutting short the whole MisPlaced CapitaliZation ScanDal because Becky through out an Arrested Development reference. I almost felt like that was worth a whole post by itself, but there really isn’t anything more to write. Too bad I had the Suns getting to the WCF in my BallHype Bracket. But, since none of the series are over yet, I am still tied for first place overall.

And finally, LOLSonics. It’s almost like today is Friday with all this stuff that going around.

I know the feeling. The NBA regular season is over and your life feels empty. Fantasy baseball is a nicotine patch to last through the summer, but fantasy football sucks, as does having to face the real world without being able to talk about how you picked up Beno Udrih in the third week of the season and now he’s your starting point guard on your first place team. So, what do you do?

Have you tried playoff fantasy basketball? You don’t hear much about fantasy basketball during the playoffs. With the popularity of regular reason fantasy sports, I wonder what’s keeping it from being bigger. An extremely long regular season can’t help. After 82 games and almost 6 months, it can be tough finding takers for another month and a half. And after scouring the internet for good 2 minutes, I wasn’t able to find a site that will let you manage a fantasy basketball league with your friends during the playoffs. As Bill Simmons would say, its 2008, can’t we make this happen already?

In fact, this playoff league is the first that I’ve done. We were able scrounge up five teams and the commissioner is keeping stats by hand like its 1985. Eight players per team. Scoring consists of adding up points, rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks for each player for the duration of the playoffs. Here’s how my draft went (I had the second pick).

1. Kobe (Garnett was my first choice, but he went number 1)
2. Pau Gasol (At this point, I’m pulling for a Lakers/Celtics final)
3. Ray Allen (Really pulling)
4. Amare Stoudemire (all the good Celtics and Pistons are gone – time to speculate)
5. David West (I feel better about this pick now, but at the time, all the “experts” could talk about was the Hornets “lack of playoff experience”)
6. Caron Butler (with guys like Jason Kidd and Mehmet Okur going at this point in the draft, I couldn’t help myself)
7. Gilbert Arenas (As long as I was hitching myself to the Wizards bandwagon… ugh… this will probably turn out to be the worst pick out of anyone’s draft)
8. Tracy McGrady (Give me 7 games, Tracy. That’s all I ask)

Considering guys like Rondo and Tayshaun Prince were drafted, it seem like I went with “pick great players even if they’re going to go out in the first round approach.” And now that the Suns, Wizards, and Rockets all look they won’t make it out of the first round, I can see how that might have not been the best plan of attack. Interestingly, no Hawks or Sixers were picked and I picked the only Rocket (in the last round). Now that the Jazz are up 3-1, maybe I should have passed. But Carmelo Anthony and Iverson were drafted from the Nuggets and Chris Bosh was taken, so maybe there’s still a chance.

Ryan over at HoopsAddict scared up a pretty good selection of bloggers (and others) to give their predictions for the playoffs. I only say it’s a pretty good selection because I got some quotes in there. But, if you’re not drowning in playoff prep material already, or you just can’t get enough of it, go on over and see what some peeps have to say.

Have we really hit the last week of fantasy basketball? If you’re one of the lucky ones, you are either wrapping up a roto league or you’ve already finished your H2H championships a week or two ago. If your team is in a championship this week? You’re probably screwed.

But let GMTR help you out. Jeff of Four-Point Play mentioned to Nels and I that it would be good idea to note who to play and who not to play in the last week of the fantasy season as teams rest starters for the playoffs, tank for lottery position, and just don’t give a shit anymore (my words, not his). My only reservation is that I couldn’t get something up earlier. Here’s a team-by-team rundown for the Eastern Conference (with the West to come).

Atlanta Hawks: With the Hawks fighting for a playoff spot, you can be sure that all their starters will be playing. In fact, they only went 9 deep during their last game against the Pacers. Joe Johnson hit 44 minutes while Bibby’s 27 was more because of his recent slump (0-8 in that game) than actually trying to get the guy some rest.

Boston Celtics: Doc Rivers is resting his starters. Well, he’s resting them as only Doc Rivers can. After sitting KG, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce against the Bobcats on Saturday, Allen got 37, Pierce got 37, and KG got 31 minutes in a C’s loss to the Wizards on Wednesday. Expect more of the same from the Big 3 this year - meaning you can expect a feast or famine depending on the whims of Doc on any given day (very scary). In the meantime, expect Rondo to log some serious minutes as Sam Cassell won’t see much time until the playoffs.

Charlotte Bobcats: It appears that a groin injury is going to bench Gerald Wallace for the rest of the season, which is sevens for Matt Carroll (who got 40 minutes in the Bobcats most recent game). Otherwise, the starters (read Jason Richardson, Raymond Felton, and Emeka Okafor) are full steam ahead. Jared Dudley could get some play as a sixth man over the last week, which would be great if his offensive game didn’t suck as hard as my picking up women skills.

Chicago Bulls: As Nels noted, Tyrus Thomas is finally getting some play for the Bulls (26 minutes against Orlando). Otherwise, it’s a team going through the motions to finish out the slog (25 minutes and minimal effort from everyone). Just like in real life, I wouldn’t be excited if I had to rely on any Bull for the playoffs. Well, with the possible exception of Aaron Gray who has shown a little effort.

Cleveland Cavaliers: The only Cav really worth worrying about is THE ONE (the one with a bad back). He got 35 minutes in his last game and managed a 33/7/8. Let’s get real: If you’ve made it this far with LeBron, you’re not going to sit him now. In other news, the Cavs are cutting back slightly on their starters’ minutes (such as giving 25 to Delonte and 29 to Big Z). It’s just enough to screw a fantasy team in championship series.

Detroit Pistions: Doc Rivers, take some notes, this is how you rest a basketball team. Flip Saunders is giving the starters about 20 minutes a game. That means the Pistons five, with the possible exception of Chauncey Billups, should be benched if you have better alternatives. Unfortunately, (for fantasy teams) the Pistons are deep, meaning that studs like Amir Johnson and Walter Herrmann (totally not serious about that last one) aren’t getting the minutes to make them worth a pickup. Rodney Stuckey is the only guy who should be considered from the Pistons bench and only in deep leagues.

Indiana Pacers: They still have an outside shot at a playoff spot and they are hot (and I’m just not talking about the smooth looks of Ike Diogu), so stick Danny Granger and Mike Dunleavy in your lineups with no worries. Just don’t expect more than 20 minutes from Jermaine O’Neal (18, 20, 19, 20, and 19 since his return). Marquis Daniels is also getting some play in the Pacers recent run (although there are better pickups if you are looking for someone).

Miami Heat: Kasib Powell, Stephane Lasme, Earl Barron, Joel Anthony, Daequan Cook? My head is hurting. Just stay away. Oh, also, Jason Williams is back, which sounds nice in theory, except that his return means the end of Chris Quinn as a fantasy contributor (yes, the Chris Quinn who is starting for me in the GMTR Readers Championship game).

Milwaukee Bucks: Charlie Villanueva and Ramon Sessions. Charlie Villanueva and Ramon Sessions. Charlie Villanueva and Ramon Sessions. And if you’re really desperate (and I’m talking about jerking it to the Sears catalogue desperate), did you know that Bobby Simmons has scored double digits in the past 6 games? His stats look serviceable enough (well, until he strains his groin the day after you pick him up).

New Jersey Nets: The Nets aren’t fighting for a playoff spot anymore and yet Vince Carter played 40 minutes in their last game? Color me confused. Net’s uberkind Josh Boone has been out with a tweaked right knee for the past few games and that has given playing time to Nenad Krstic (8 and 7 in his last game). Ok, 8 and 7 is garbage. Also manning the box for the Nets are Stromile Swift and DeSagana Diop. Garbage. Total garbage.

New York Knicks: I picked up and actually played Quentin Richardson last week. So, what the hell do I know about the Knicks? Ok, you didn’t hear this from me, but Wilson Chandler has put together 3 good games in a row (averaging about 18 points and 8 boards). He’d be a risky play, but one that champions are made of.

Orlando Magic: Dwight Howard is busy abusing the Bulls, so all seems good with the Magic. Even though they have the third seed locked up in the East, they’re a young team, so expect their starters to play decent minutes the rest of the season.

Philadelphia 76ers: The Sixers are another team fighting for playoff position and according to this article, they won’t be letting up anytime soon: “Philadelphia 76ers coach Maurice Cheeks spent three off days reminding his players there are still reasons to play hard, still goals to aim for. He wants them to play for the highest possible seed in the NBA East, without regard for possible opponents.” In the spirit of that article, Andre Miller got 40 minutes and Andre Iguodala 42 in the Sixers most recent game against Detroit.

Toronto Raptors: Toronto is another team that, despite having already clinched a playoff spot, is still playing its starters in heavy rotation as they fight for playoff position. Bosh is getting 40 minutes a game, while Ford, Parker, and Moon are still getting 30+. Toronto has done their best to bury Jose Calderon, Andrea Bargnani, and Carlos Delfino during the past couple months and unfortunately that is not going to change this season. If you haven’t done so, I beg of you to look at Rasho Nesterovic’s game log over the last month. The man has scored in double digits for almost a month straight, averaging 7+ rebounds over that time. It’s ridiculous. It’s unbelievable. It’s a guy you’ve got to at least think about if your team needs rebounds, points, or blocks.

Washington Wizards: Gilbert Arenas is back, but he’s only averaging about 21-22 minutes a game. I wouldn’t expect him to be a significant force again until the playoffs (for those of you who held onto him all year, the term is ‘sunk cost’). Antawn Jamison is also back from a shoulder injury that kept him out two games and he played a solid 37 minutes in his first game back. With the Wizards fighting for playoff position (i.e. let’s not play Boston or Detroit in the first round) the starters will be seeing heavy minutes.

Here are my updated playoff odds through the games on Match 11. The four way fight for the last playoff spot in the East slightly favors the Hawks, but the Bulls have come back from the dead to make things interesting (well, as interesting as the 8th seed in the East can be). How have they done it? By playing .500 ball, of course (3-3 in March), which at least is more than can be said of the Hawks (1-5 in March).

In the West, things are kind of clearing up after the mess that was the last GMTR playoff odds. The 8th seed is a two team race between the Nuggets and the Warriors (although an epic collapse by the Suns or the Mavs is entirely possible considering how their recent trades have been working out). And it’s cool to see the Southwest is still up for grabs. The NBA: Where a meaningful regular season finally happens.