Give Me The Rock

I know the feeling. The NBA regular season is over and your life feels empty. Fantasy baseball is a nicotine patch to last through the summer, but fantasy football sucks, as does having to face the real world without being able to talk about how you picked up Beno Udrih in the third week of the season and now he’s your starting point guard on your first place team. So, what do you do?

Have you tried playoff fantasy basketball? You don’t hear much about fantasy basketball during the playoffs. With the popularity of regular reason fantasy sports, I wonder what’s keeping it from being bigger. An extremely long regular season can’t help. After 82 games and almost 6 months, it can be tough finding takers for another month and a half. And after scouring the internet for good 2 minutes, I wasn’t able to find a site that will let you manage a fantasy basketball league with your friends during the playoffs. As Bill Simmons would say, its 2008, can’t we make this happen already?

In fact, this playoff league is the first that I’ve done. We were able scrounge up five teams and the commissioner is keeping stats by hand like its 1985. Eight players per team. Scoring consists of adding up points, rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks for each player for the duration of the playoffs. Here’s how my draft went (I had the second pick).

1. Kobe (Garnett was my first choice, but he went number 1)
2. Pau Gasol (At this point, I’m pulling for a Lakers/Celtics final)
3. Ray Allen (Really pulling)
4. Amare Stoudemire (all the good Celtics and Pistons are gone – time to speculate)
5. David West (I feel better about this pick now, but at the time, all the “experts” could talk about was the Hornets “lack of playoff experience”)
6. Caron Butler (with guys like Jason Kidd and Mehmet Okur going at this point in the draft, I couldn’t help myself)
7. Gilbert Arenas (As long as I was hitching myself to the Wizards bandwagon… ugh… this will probably turn out to be the worst pick out of anyone’s draft)
8. Tracy McGrady (Give me 7 games, Tracy. That’s all I ask)

Considering guys like Rondo and Tayshaun Prince were drafted, it seem like I went with “pick great players even if they’re going to go out in the first round approach.” And now that the Suns, Wizards, and Rockets all look they won’t make it out of the first round, I can see how that might have not been the best plan of attack. Interestingly, no Hawks or Sixers were picked and I picked the only Rocket (in the last round). Now that the Jazz are up 3-1, maybe I should have passed. But Carmelo Anthony and Iverson were drafted from the Nuggets and Chris Bosh was taken, so maybe there’s still a chance.

I had an empty feeling in my stomach this weekend because there were no regular season games to recap (although the playoffs started on an exciting note). But after investing 170 days of our lives, it’s only fitting to recap the best and worst of the season that was. What do you say, Nels?

Let’s start with the fantasy MVP

Nels: Chris Paul. I mean, as much as I was going with the Heart thing as kind of a running joke (for me, at least) I came to real that Paul really was the fantasy basketball MVP this year. Also, interesting to note that even though Kobe played 2 more game than CP3, their Fantasy Scores are actually closer when you look at Average stats than totals.

Patrick: Chris Paul. He finished the season number 1 on the GMTR player rater by a Chicago mile (both with turnovers and without – which is a big deal – since LeBron went from 2nd to 4th when turnovers were included). What more can I say about Chris Paul that I haven’t already said a thousand times? Not much. I would take him number 1 again next year without a worry.

Line of the Year

Patrick: After digging through 170 days worth of lines, I like Lebron James’ 50 points, 8 rebounds, 10 assists and 4 steals on Day 128, Kobe’s 53 points, 10 rebounds, 3 steals, and 9 threes on Day 151, Chris Paul’s 42 points, 5 rebounds, 9 assists, 4 threes, and 8 steals on Day 100, and Baron Davis’ 33/11/15 with 5 threes on Day 25. I’m tempted to throw in Marcus Camby’s line of 8 points, 24 rebounds, and 11 blocked shots. But he didn’t even get LotN that day, so I guess I’d go with Lebron on Day 128. He had 4-5 jaw dropping lines during the year, so he gets the award for style and consistency.

Nels: It’s probably not physically the best line, but with 39 points and 5 threes on 14/28 and 6/7, alongside 11 rebounds, 8 assists and 2 steals, Kobe Bryant’s game on Dec. 23, 2007 was one of the few Lines of the Night that I can remember that got to a 7 on NBA.com’s Player Rater.

Rookie of the Year

Nels: Kevin Durant is the first rookie listed on NBA.com’s Player Rater. He’s at number 61, which seems pretty high for a rookie.

Patrick: Kevin Durant: As much as I like Al Horford (not particularly that much) facts are facts. Despite all the press about how Durant “can’t shoot” or “play defense” or “doesn’t rebound” or “isn’t a shooting guard”, he finished ranked 60 on the GMTR rater to Horford’s 103. Hell, Horford isn’t even the rookie runner-up as Jamario Moon finished at 99. It wasn’t a glorious season for the Sonics (that’s a bit of an understatement) but Durant led the Sonics as well as any other 19-year-old in the history of the game and he finished the season averaging 20.3 points and 89% from the line.

Most Improved Player

Patrick: I’ll go with Danny Granger, who finished the year ranked #25 on the GMTR rater, ahead of Jason Kidd, Andre Iguodala, Vince Carter, and Gerald Wallace. Granger took control of a Pacers team that missed Jermaine O’Neal for 40 games this year, and he went from a 14 point a game guy to a 20 point a game guy, with 2.1 threes to boot. He’s also a good defensive player, averaging 6 boards, 1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks a game this year.

Nels: Chris Paul. That’s right. Find me someone who increased their assists by nearly 3 per game while decreasing their average turnovers. Find me someone took 400 more shots, while increasing their FG% by 5 points. Paul also increased his FT% by over 3 points, and got almost 1 more steal per game than in the previous season. I know I should try to find someone who fits the mold of a MIP more (i.e., someone who isn’t an MVP candidate), but Chris Paul has to have improved as much as anyone else in the league.

And look at this picture from his NBA.com profile page.

Biggest Disappointment

Nels: My starting bid here is Mike Conley. I was expecting something more along the lines of Chris Paul’s rookie year (16.1 points, 5.1 rebounds, and 7.8 assists) rather than what MC gave us (9 pts, 2.6 rebs, 4.2 ast). I mean, I wasn’t realistically expecting actual Paul performance, but I was looking at something more like 11/4/6. Yeah, not that much of a difference, but Conley also only played 53 games.

Patrick: This one is personal. After a hot finish to 2007 where he was averaging about 20 points a game, I drafted Walter Herrmann as a sleeper in 3 separate leagues, including the CBS 30-man in round 5 when I still didn’t have a starting center (which ultimately was my demise in the playoffs) and a keeper league where I immediately signed him to a 3 year deal. Then I sat in pain and watched him play in a measly 17 games for the Bobcats, averaging 10 minutes and 4 points a game. I got a little hope when he was traded to the Pistons (I still had him in the keeper league), but the playing time was the same, and he finished out the year averaging 7 minutes in 28 games.

Waiver Wire Guy of the Year

Patrick: Jamario Moon. Anytime someone has to ask the people running the league (as in someone asking the CBS employees in the CBS Sports 30-man league) to actually add a player to the list of available free agents so he could be picked up, that’s the waiver wire player of the year in my book. And my runner up would be Beno Udrih, who went from the D-League to starting point guard for the Kings and averaging 5+ assists a game.

Nels: Jamario Moon. Moon was another ROY candidate, and came in pretty close to Durant (3.44 to 3.86 respectively). But, unlike Durant, I’m fairly certain that Moon went undrafted in most - if not all - leagues. Maybe someone took him in Patrick’s 30 team league [Patrick – Moon wasn’t even on the list of available players to be drafted]… Moon’s year end numbers don’t look all that impressive: 8.5, 6.2, 1.2 with 1 steal, 1.4 blocks, and only 0.65 turnovers, but he played in 78 games and considering that he could have been had for the price of a last round flier pick, you could have easily done worse. I know I did in at least one league.

Injury of the Year

Nels: Gilbert Arenas. For someone declared to be a consensus #1 overall pick in August, getting injured 3 weeks into the season and not returning until day 156 (when everyone else decided to return from injury) is Major Payne.

Patrick: There are three major injuries that stick in my head: Elton Brand, Gilbert Arenas, and Andrew Bynum. Everyone knew that Brand was going to miss most, if not all, of the year, so he is out. And while Arenas’ injury came at the beginning of the season, Bynum’s injury is burned into my memory the most. He was out by January 14th and teased owners for the rest of the year.

Biggest Loser

Patrick: The New York Knicks, the worst team in the history of professional sports. Let’s start with the losing. 23-59. Throw in the Isiah Thomas, who destroyed Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry (poor little David Lee didn’t have a chance). The Stephon Marbury experience, complete with sex the back of a truck, skipping games because he was mad at Thomas, being bench by his teammates only to have Isiah play him anyway, season ending ankle surgery in January just because, and this quote: “I’ve got so much shit on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can fuck me, but I’ll fuck him first. You have no idea what I know.” Throw in a sexual-harassment lawsuit, a $160 million payroll, Fire Isiah chants and fans getting thrown out of games, and everything else and you have a biggest loser.

Nels: Eddy Curry. Crap. Nevermind. Curry only dropped 5 places on the GMTR Player Rater from last season. Next up, how about Marco Belinelli? He was taken (probably by me) at number 116 in the GMTR Mock Draft, and ended up at 388 on the Player Rater. Did anyone else actually pick him? I know I did it in at least one league.

Draft This Guy Next Year

Nels: Dwight Howard. I took Howard in the Readers League this year and traded him for Manu Ginobli. At the time I thought that was kind of a stupid thing to do, but since I already had a small ball team, I went with it. Ginobli ended up at 11 (according to NBA.com) while Howard finished at 27, so it was a good trade for me (not that it actually mattered anyway). But next season, Howard is only going to improve his game, and get closer to being the perennial lottery fantasy draft pick that Shaquille O’Neal once was.

Patrick: Zach Randolph. It might sound crazy, but you probably could get Randolph around pick 70-100 in next year’s draft. He finished this season ranked 73 on the rater and with Isiah gone, it can’t get any worse than that, right?

Don’t Draft This Guy Next Year

Patrick: Unless the Raptors trade TJ Ford, avoid Jose Calderon in drafts next year. Nothing against the talented Calderon, who was sweet peaches for Toronto this year, averaging 8+ assists a game (9+ assists in his starts). But the end of this season has shown that the Raptors consider Ford is their starting point guard. As long as he’s healthy, Calderon is going to average around 22 minutes a game. And that’s not worth a high draft pick.

Nels: Jamario Moon. I’m using Moon more as a template of the kind of player you need to watch out for when drafting next season. The kind of player I’m talking about is the one that comes out of no where to have an awesome season (what we call a “sleeper”). The problem is, he’s not a sleeper anymore. Now he’s a player that everyone is going to want to take to look like they know what they’re doing. If you establish a round or specific place in the draft where you’ll take a player like that and don’t get tempted to take them earlier, then, well, that’s what you’re supposed to do anyway. [Patrick - So, what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t draft him like I did Walter Herrmann this year (/taking notes)]

Friday’s Tiny Dancer of the Year

I added this category at the last moment so Nels will have to respond in the comments, but, in the spirit of Friday’s Tiny Dancer, I’ll go with a dancer from the best team in the league this season. First up, the queen bee of the Celtics dancers, Alison:

You can never go wrong with white knee high boots. Never. Finally, Michelle and her barely long enough “jersey” is also enchanting.

I’m typically one not to shill, but I’ll make an exception for this event. While it has been up for a while now, Hardwood Paroxysm is currently running the NBA Blogger Season Awards for 2008. So far so good (in fact, I like the idea so much I’ve already voted). However, one of Hardwood’s categories includes the “best nightly recap” and, surprisingly, GMTR is nowhere to se seen. Best. Nightly. Recap. As in Day X of 170. What a total shaft.

So, if you’ve got a couple spare seconds, head over to Hardwood Paroxysm and give a write-in vote to GMTR for best nightly recap. Why? I’ll give you 7 solid reasons.

1. Unlike some nightly recaps, we’ve posted EVERY SINGLE DAY this season. In fact, Nels even posted on Christmas Day. Now that is dedication.

2. We were on top of the Beno situation from day 20.

3. ESPN and Yahoo are included in the vote? Don’t vote for the machine. Not when Friday’s Tiny Dancers are included.

4. We’ve got photoshopping skillz.

5. Unlike the NBA, we don’t tank at the end of the season. We’ve given you 170 days of solid waiver wire pickups, even when they didn’t exist.

6. Mad Libs

7. The man. The myth. The Chad.

We’ve given you 170 days, give us a couple seconds. Voting is open until April 20th.

Line of the Night: Jason Richardson (6.4) looks like a guy who will beat the living piss out of you in his NBA.com page. The dude had 31 points, 5 threes, 10 rebounds, and, oh, how about 8 steals in a 112-108 Charlotte loss to the Nets.

Honorable Mentions: After he delivered my first child, Chris Paul (5.1) scored 22 points off 10-13 shooting with 12 assists and one circumcision; Lamar Odom (4.9) went for 15/12/3 with 3 steals; and David West (4.4) scored 32 points against the Clippers.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: The Kings got trounced by the Lakers to finish the regular season, but that didn’t stop Kings super sub Quincy Douby (4.4) from putting up 32 points and 3 threes. Just don’t remember his name when it comes time to draft next season…

The Biggest Loser: Peja Stojakovic (2.4) had a nice 2-14 shooting night (going 2-11 from three), scoring 7 points with 4 boards and 2 assists. Other than that? Ah, Elton Brand wasn’t that great, with 9 points, 4 rebounds, and 2 assists in 35 minutes. But I’m inclined to give the guy a break, seeing he just came back from almost-season-ending surgery.

Looks like NBA.com might be shutting it down for the year with some kind of fake ankle injury. Let’s roll on with the GMTR scores (close to the NBA ones, only like any good politician, they go negative).

It’s a sad, sad day. Isiah Thomas has probably/likely/with all certainty coached his last game at Madison Square Garden and, according to this article, he’s looking to be a part of some kind of ticker-tape parade. Maybe the one going on inside his head.

Line of the Night/Waiver Wire Line of the Night/Waiver Wire Line of the Year: Ramon Sessions (7.0) had a franchise record 24 assists for the Bucks (in a crazy game they lost to the Bulls 151-135). Sessions also added 20 points, making him the first Buck to throw down a 20 point-20 assist game, ever. Even for a franchise like Milwaukee, that’s impressive.

“It definitely wasn’t a playoff atmosphere.” - Joakim Noah after the game

Honorable Mentions: This is why it’s good idea to wrap up your fantasy league before the last week of the season. Here are the top 10 fantasy performances last night:

Ramon Sessions (7.0)
Chris Duhon (5.8) – 22 points, 15 assists
Roger Mason (5.5) – 31 points, 7 threes
Danny Granger (5.0) – 35 and 9 with 7 threes
Mike Dunleavy (4.9) – 26 points, 2 steals, 3 blocks
Monta Ellis (3.9) – 20/8/6 with 6 steals
Francisco Garcia (3.8) – 5 steals and 2 blocks
John Salmons (3.3) – 29 points, 10 rebounds
Tony Parker (3.3) – 32 points, 11 assists
James Posey (3.2) – 15 points, 5 threes

If you’re fighting for a championship right now, some of those lines have to scare you. Hell, I’m starting Francisco Garcia in one league and those lines still scare me.

Ridiculous Ron Artest story of the Day (via Empty the Bench): Mr. Artest’s personal assistant … fields late-night requests for organic cookies, is developing Mr. Artest’s line of athletic wear and was asked recently to remove what Mr. Artest thought were giant snake eggs in his backyard. They turned out to be mushrooms.

The Biggest Loser: Carmelo Anthony, who was arrested for DUI Monday morning in Denver at 4 am. Melo’s certainly had difficulty staying out of trouble during his career. In fact, I wasn’t particularly shocked or surprised when I heard the news, which is not a good sign.

Dishonorable Mentions: In on-the-court related news, Baron Davis (-8.5) only played 17 minutes and yet still managed to chuck up 13 shots. Unfortunately, he only made 2 of them. He also had 1 rebound and 3 assists and was benched in the second half by Don Nelson (says Nelson, “I gave Baron a much-needed rest the second half” … ouch!). Andre Iguodala (-7.3) on the other hand, played 43 minutes (although he didn’t fair much better). AI2 did have 8 rebounds, but that was negated but a 4-17 shooting performance, 1 assist and no steals or blocks.

And you can hand out a dishonorable mention to the refs in the Cavs/Sixers game for calling a mysterious foul on Samuel Dalembert with 0.2 seconds left in the game, allowing Devin Brown to hit 2 free throws in a 91-90 win for the Cavs. Hopefully this game is not a precursor to this year’s playoffs. I don’t think we’re ready to relive last year.

I thought about using the phrase “Sleepless in Seattle” in the title, but then I would have had to punch myself in the face for being an idiot.

Line of the Night: The Nuggets inched closer to the playoffs with a 111-94 win over the Rockets yesterday and Allen Iverson (5.8) can take his share of credit for the win. AI scored 33 with 7 rebounds, 7 assists and 4 steals.

Honorable Mentions: Hedo Turkoglu (5.6) scored 24 with 8 assists and 3 steals. If he’s not the biggest fantasy surprise of the season, he’s at least in the top 3; The Seattle mojo couldn’t contain Dirk Nowitzki (4.8), he went for 32 and 9 with 4 threes; J.R. Smith (4.7) shot 8-13 from the floor and hit 5 threes on his way to 23 points (in only 25 minutes); Chris Bosh (4.7) had 30 and 10; and Marcus Camby (4.6) had a ridiculous 6 points on 2-7 shooting, but added 14 rebounds and 7 blocked shots.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Not much out there today, so let’s give a tip of the old hat to not-quite-waiver-wire-but-close-enough-for-government-work Earl Watson (4.9). Amazingly, the 4 foot Watson was only 2 boards short of a triple-double as he finished with 21/8/10 in 42 minutes. The Sonics beat the Mavs 99-95 in what could have been their last home game in Seattle.

Biggest Loser: On the bright side, Carmelo Anthony (2.1) had 8 rebounds and, well, ah, that’s the end of the bright side. He finished 3-14 from the field with 11 points, 1 assist and no steals or threes.

Dishonorable Mentions: Mark Blount (1.6) had 2 rebounds yesterday. The 7-footer is now averaging 3.8 on the year; and Vlad Rad’s (1.5) fantasy usefulness is gone as quickly as it came. He had 2 points and 2 boards in his second straight game for the Lakers.

Line of the Night: The not nearly as sung as he should be Danny Granger (5.5) had a career high scoring night, finishing with 37 points off 6-12 from three. He added 5 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals and a block, although the Pacers suffered a playoff crushing loss from the Bobcats. While he won’t make the playoffs, keep Granger high on your cheat sheets for next season.

Honorable Mentions: Overall, it wasn’t the most impressive day of fantasy performances. The little-heard-from-this-year Cuttino Mobley (5.3) had 30 points and 4 threes, adding 10 rebounds and a couple of blocks; believe it or not Vince Carter (5.0) is still playing and putting in an effort for the lottery bound Nets. He only scored 21, but had 10 assists and 4 steals; Andre Iguodala (4.9) went for 22/6/7 with 3 steals; Elton Brand (4.6) is officially back with 21 and 14 with 3 blocks (alright, he’s been awesome since his first game back); and Mehmet Okur (4.6) finished with 20/15/5.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Raise your hand if you had Kirk Snyder (4.4) in your lineup yesterday. Raise that hand up high so the whole class can see. Ok. All of you with your hands in the air are dirty lying bastard liars! Kirk, who is still wearing a Houston Rockets jersey on his NBA.com page, scored 22 points for the Wolves (off 9-11 shooting), adding 11 boards and 3 steals in 38 minutes on the floor. Despite the minutes, Kirk doesn’t pass the 70% test, which means we give him a pat on the back for a job well done and never hear from him again (38 minutes or not, the 70% test rules all. Trust me.).

Two guys who have been pumped up on GMTR lately are Francisco Garcia (4.4) and Ramon Sessions (4.0). Garcia may not score with much efficiency (he had 16 points off 5-14 shooting yesterday), but he will consistently net you steals (3 yesterday) and blocks (3 again); and Sessions has come out of nowhere to become a 10+ assist a game guy. Yesterday he had 12/6/13 with a couple steals.

The Biggest Loser: With the Nuggets fighting for a playoff spot, you would think that Kenyon Martin (2.0) could put up a better line than 4 points, 4 rebounds, 1 assist in 30 minutes of play against the Jazz. You would think.

Dishonorable Mentions: Foolishly, I believed in Brevin Knight (1.4) this year for some reason that probably involved unhealthy amounts of alcohol; Josh Childress (1.9) has been the equivalent of a fantasy head-on car crash this season. Yesterday he had 5 points, 4 rebounds and no assists in 30 minutes of play against the Celtics; and finally, the Memphis Grizzles are so bad even their stadium is giving up, as a section of their stadium collapsed about an hour before the 8pm start of their game against the Wolves.