Give Me The Rock

Line of the Night: Joe Johnson (5.57) clearly wants to make the playoffs. He scored 34 points last night, including 6 threes, while shooting 62% from the field. He also had 4 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 steals and 1 block.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Since Carlos Delfino (5.03) is available in one of my Yahoo leagues, I guess that makes him eligible for WWLotN. He didn’t score 34 like Dub-J but he did make 6 three pointers last night, and ended up with 24 points. He added 5 rebounds, an assists, a steal, and a block. Unfortunately for anyone still in any sort of fantasy basketball hunt, I would recommend you NOT pick up Delfino. He hasn’t had a game even close to that one since March 30th, and it seems unlikely that it’ll happen again in the next 5 days.

A somewhat less risky pickup would be Tyrus Thomas (4.32) who had 20 and 14 with 3 assists and 3 blocks. In April, Dub-T has been averaging 29 minutes per game, and he can be very efficient with that time. He’s still definitely a risk, but if you need a few more rebounds and blocks to contend for whatever you’re contending for, then he might be worth throwing in the ring.

The Biggest Loser: Watch out for Gilbert Arenas (2.02). I’m sure there were at least a couple people counting on him to come back from injury and save them, but it’s clear that he’s just trying to get his legs back a little before the playoffs. And with his shooting the way it is (4/10, 5/14, 2/8 the last 3 games) he’s going to need all the legs he can get, especially if the Wizards draw the Cavs in the first round. Still, I wouldn’t expect Gilbert to start performing like the number 7 overall pick that he was back in October until say… April 19th rolls around.

Line of the Night: What didn’t Joe Johnson (6.5) do last night? Well, he didn’t tuck me into bed, but he was all over everything else. First, Johnson and the Hawks beat the Heat in their 52 second do-over game, and then he went out after a 15 minute break and matched his season high with 39 points, hitting 5 threes and adding 8 assists, 3 steals and a couple blocks. With those wins, the Hawks are now guaranteed a playoff spot in the East.

Honorable Mentions: If you’re familiar with the usual player rater scores on the daily rundown (5.5 to 6.0 = line of the night on most days) you’ve got to be impressed with this list of honorable mentions. Jason Richardson (6.2) had 34 points off 13-20 shooting and added 8 boards, 5 threes, 4 steals, and a block; Mehmet Okur (5.7) was 9-11 from the field and 6-7 from three and had 11 rebounds, 3 steals and 27 points; LeBron James (5.7) had 38/11/4 with 5 threes and a couple blocks; and 18-straight for Houston and Tracy McGrady (5.6), who shot 17-27 and finished with 41/6/9 and 2 blocks.

Due to all the great games, I’m leaving out a bunch of guys who scored 30+ points and even Dwight Howard who blocked 5 shots yesterday. Deal with it. As the great Ric Flair said, “To be the man you have to beat the man.”

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Nate Robinson (4.8) dropped 45 on the Blazers in an overtime loss. He also had 6 rebounds and 6 assists. I have a feeling he’s available in your league, even though he probably shouldn’t be considering the way he’s been playing as of late. It may have something to do with the fact that he’s a Knick.

The “I Wish I could Trust You More” Lines of the Night: One look at Anderson Varejao’s (4.6) box score – 15/16/6 with 4 steals – and you can see why he’s always been a sort of, kind of, intriguing pickup; and my good bubby Paul Millsap (4.5) went for 16/10/4 with 3 steals and 2 blocks. If he could average more than 20 minutes a game, I’d totally be interested.

Let Me Preempt Tomorrow’s Waiver Wire Line of the Night with This: I’ve been hitting the Thaddeus Young pretty hard over the past week, and since I’m putting this rundown up a little late today, I noticed that Young finished today’s (Sunday) game with 18 points and 9 boards in 28 minutes. Sadly, he only had one steal.

The Biggest Loser: Jason Terry (1.2) only got 17 minutes of play yesterday, going 2-5 from the floor and finishing with 5 points, 0 boards and 1 assists. Nothing I’d worry about too much, although it looks like his time was stolen from a one Mr. Antoine Wright, formally of the New Jersey Nets. So, it’s possible (though not likely) we could be seeing a trend here.

And since we’re talking about the Nets, Devin Harris (1.6) had an atrocious game against his former team. Harris shot 3-12 on the night and finished with 9 points, 2 boards and 2 assists in a loss to the Mavs.

I do make it a rule, though, to not talk about politics - especially not on this blog - so I’ll just say I watched both the Republicans and the Democrats and not the Bulls and we’ll leave it at that.

Line of the Night: Josh Smith (5.42) just edged Yao Ming for his 3rd LotN (along with several Honorable Mentions). 34 points on 63% shooting (60% from the line) with 9 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 steals, and 3 blocks. That’s why people love Josh Smith. And the Hawks Dancers are pretty good too.

For those who like the more natural dancers:

And for those who like them a little more Josh Smith:

Honorable Mentions: Yao Ming (5.39) had another huge night; Andres Nocioni (5.36) was big for the Bulls, despite being -7 on the +/- meter.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: I don’t exactly respect the defensive prowess of Rafer Alston, Luther Head, and Aaron Brooks, but Nate Robinson did light them up with 69% shooting and 5 three pointers leading to 25 points. Swap sides. I don’t exactly respect the defensive prowess of Nate Robinson, Stephon Marbury, or Jamal Crawford, but Aaron Brooks did light them up with 80% shooting and 4 three pointers leading to 22 points. I wouldn’t count on Aaron Brooks doing anything like that for another month or two, but Nate Rob has been scoring somewhat decently. And not really doing anything else.

Rise With Us: Once again time to look at Tyrus Thomas. Argh. 14 points, 9 rebounds, 3 blocks in 23 minutes.

Goat of the Night: Rajon Rondo followed up his 2-9 on the 4th with 1-7 last night. 5 rebounds and 0 assists is not what you want a point guard to do for you in fantasy basketball. 1-4 from the line only compounds the issue. Feel free to hit up the comments with your own Goats and Gripes. I dare you to try to top Leonard’s rant about his team.

For most fans, the NBA experience consists of watching games on TV and in person, with the occasional special event or autograph signing thrown in. But this guide will help you maximize your enjoyment of the NBA. To use this guide, simply locate your skill or skills and then do what’s listed there. It’s really that simple.

IF YOU ENJOY WRITING FAN MAIL:
Email your favorite Dallas Maverick player.

IF YOU ENJOY WRITING FAN MAIL AND STALKING:
Write to your favorite Nuggets Dancer, c/o Pepsi Center, 1000 Chopper Circle, Denver, CO 80204

IF YOU LIKE JUMPING OFF TRAMPOLINES
Join the Detroit Pistons’ Flight Crew.

IF YOU’RE A CANADIAN STREET BALLER
Play in NBA 3ON3 (sponsored by the Raptors)

IF YOUR CHILD IS A FATTY AND SHAQ IS NOT AVAILABLE
Sign-up for Get Fit with the Golden State Warriors.

IF YOU CAN GOLF:
Play with Tyrus Thomas.

IF YOU CAN’T GOLF:
Play softball with Tracy McGrady.

IF YOU CAN SING:
Audition to sing the national anthem at a Cavaliers game.

IF YOU’RE BETWEEN THE AGE 7 AND 16 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $100.
Go to a summer camp hosted by Sean May, Dell Curry, Brevin Knight, or the Carroll Brothers.

IF YOU’RE BETWEEN THE AGE 7 AND 16 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $250.
Go to the Sonics Basketball Summer Camp.

IF YOU’RE OVER THE AGE OF 35 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $17,500.
Go to the Michael Jordan Flight School.

IF YOU’RE A PUPPETEER, VENTRILOQUIST, OR HAVE ANOTHER SKILL THAT PEOPLE PRETEND TO FIND ENTERTAINING:
Become an in-game entertainer for the Hawks or Bobcats.

IF YOU OWN A CAMCORDER AND ENJOY WATCHING THE CLIPPERS:
Make a fan video.

IF YOU OWN A CAMERA, A COPY OF PHOTOSHOP, AND A GRILL OR OTHER HIBACHI-LIKE DEVICE
Enter the “Are you Hibachi enough?” contest.

IF YOU’RE AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH DANCE SKILLS
Audition to become an NBA dancer, preferably for the Lakers, Mavs, Heat, Spurs, or Rockets

IF YOU’RE AN UNATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH DANCE SKILLS
Get a lesson from the Knicks Dance Team.

IF YOU’RE A FORMER CHEERLEADER OR GYMNAST AND ARE ATTRACTIVE (FEMALE) OR ENJOY TOUCHING WOMEN IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACES WITHOUT THE THREAT OF GOING TO JAIL (MALE):
Try out for the Detroit Work Force or Utah Jazz Stunt Team.

IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE EVALUATING PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS
Become the Director of Player Personnel for the Houston Rockets.

IF YOU HAVE BALL HANDLING SKILLS AND COURT VISION:
Try out for the Celtics. (Credit to Basketbawful)

The Hawks missed the playoffs for the eighth straight season, but reached 30 wins for the first time since the 2002-03 season.
-Yahoo Sports

I could have saved myself a lot of time on this preview by simply pointing you in the direction of the 2006 GMTR Hawks preview with the instructions to substitute the name Al Horford for Shelden Williams. That’s pretty much all you need to know about the fantasy 2007 Atlanta Hawks.

Instead, I’m going to go the extra mile for my good friend and Atlanta “resident” Jimmy. Jimmy was a homeless man who once led me through downtown Atlanta one night around 12 in the am. I won’t go into details about how I got there, just know that I learned my lesson. Jimmy was kind of hard to understand, but I did hear him say that he had been in jail before. Interestingly, he brought up the jail thing in the larger context of trying to convince me that he was a good guy. “I’ve been in jail” and “I’m a good guy” aren’t phrases that usually go together, at least at my family dinner conversations, so I’m eternally grateful to Jimmy for not killing me in front of the Majestic Diner.

But the point is that Jimmy got me where I needed to go without raping me in an alley, which is more than can be said about the Hawk’s GM, Billy Knight. Ok, that’s a little harsh. The Philips Arena has much better lighting than an alley.

What the Hawks lack in victories, they more than make up for in point guards and forwards. Billy Knight must be trying to get back at his detractors by currently carrying five point guards on his roster. Acie Law, the second of the Hawks’ first round picks, is one of those point guards. Law, who has drawn comparisons to Chauncey Billups or Sam Cassell is an unselfish player who is a good ball handler with leadership abilities. I’m no expert on the Hawks, so I’ll let Sekou Smith elaborate more on the point guard situation in his blog. According to Smith, it looks like Law will have some time to develop as the team’s second or third point guard behind Speedy Claxton (201, 245) and perhaps Tyronn Lue (175, 190) or Anthony Johnson (273, 280), if one or both doesn’t get traded.

Regardless of how the Hawks point guard clusterf**k plays out, the most likely outcome is some kind of 20/20/8 situation that destroys everyone’s fantasy value, at least until someone (cough:Claxton:cough) gets hurt. I wouldn’t rush to draft any Hawks point guard, although it might be a good idea to keep a lazy eye on Acie Law to see if his playing time increases as the season progresses or maybe, just maybe, he wins the job outright.

It’s tough to mention Al Horford’s name without mentioning that he’s “NBA ready” so, just so you know, he’s NBA ready, which basically means that he’s ready to play in the NBA, unlike say, Kevin Durant, whose popsicle stick body got chewed up into little, wet splinter sized pieces during summer league games. From what I can gleam off the Internet, Horford’s drawn comparisons anywhere from a Shelden Williams clone to a “young Derrick Coleman without the baggage,” which, my friends, is no Derrick Coleman. Let me go out on a limb and say, even by the end of the year, it will be apparent that Horford is not the third best player from this draft. Expect decent defense from Horford right out of the gate and, even though he’s NBA ready, his offense will need a little time to develop.

Damn, I wish that Josh Smith (25 on the rater last season, 41 with turnovers) could shoot, because he can just about do everything else. His 69% free throw and 44% field goal percentages (25% on threes) are not pretty to look at, but you put up with that for 16 points, 8.6 rebounds, 1.4 steals, and 3 blocks a game. His percentages haven’t improved any since he came into the league and he should actually lay off the threes a little as it’s a pretty weak part of his game. But overall, he’s a solid 3rd rounder and it’s always nice to have someone on your team who will supply you with sweet highlights on a daily basis.

The end of last year was a Carl Lewis’ national anthem-level disaster for head-to-head leagues. Joe Johnson (34, 44) was one of those guys who made it so bad. Johnson had a solid year until he went down with a calf injury during the last month of the season. He was ready to return by the end of the season, but was held out cause the Hawks sucked. That’s a good sign… that Johnson was healthy, not that the Hawks suck. It was also the first game he missed in five years, so there’s no reason why Johnson shouldn’t go by the fourth round, at least.

It’s so much easier to make decisions with your gut than to sit back and look at the facts. The Marvin Williams (134, 161) I conjure up off the top of my head was the guy I drafted, promptly broke his hand and missed the first month of the season, came back to shoot like a blind man from the floor, and put up some horrible stat lines for about a month before I dropped him. I was ready to write Williams off again this year, but his game log shows that he actually had a pretty decent end to the season (14.7 points, 6.3 rebounds and 85% from the line in his last 22 games). Ok, it’s not gangbusters, but its way better than the image I have of him in my head. I don’t see him blowing up anytime soon, but he should get plenty of minutes ahead of…

After three years of no improvement, Josh Childress (65, 47) had a smallish breakout before also going down at the end of the year. I’d be a little more excited about his prospects this year except that Josh Smith and Marvin Williams appear to be the frontrunners for the starting forward spots on this team. It took Childress 37 minutes a game to average his 13 points, 6 rebounds, and 2 assists last season (he’s the anti Eddie House). Unless someone gets hurt, he’ll probably be lucky to average 30 minutes on this team. The result will probably be a return to his pre-2007 numbers and he’ll be worth a nice 9th to 10th round pick.

I greatly enjoy reading basketbawful’s word of the day. I’d love to see “Zaza” become the word of the day for a backup fantasy center. As in Zaza Pachulia (102, 130). It’s fun to say. It rolls off the tongue. 12 points, 7 rebounds, half a block, decent percentages. Oh yeah, that’s a Zaza.

Shelden Williams (221, 239). Not. A. Good. Draft. Pick. Even the Shelden Williams fan site stopped posting after his 9th game. Salim Stoudamire (287, 277) is like the 6th guard on the depth chart. Slava Medvedenko (410, 402) has a name that’s fun to say.

The Hawks get a lot of crap for being historically inept at just about everything, however, this team appears to be headed in the right direction. They have a lot of young talent and (amazingly) this talent seems to fit into one larger plan. The Hawks’ depth will hurt the fantasy performance of some guys, like Horford and Childress, but expect to see some roster movement in the next few months, especially at the point guard position. Maybe this is a team worth keeping an eye on after all.

GMTR Draft Prognostication

Josh Smith: 3rd Round
Joe Johnson: 3rd/4th
Marvin Williams: 9th
All Zazas: 10th+
Acie Law/Speedy Claxton/Tyronn Lue/Anthony Johnson: To be announced

It’s that time of year in fantasy basketball when injuries and missed games begin to destroy all the wonderful progress your fantasy team has made since November. Watch as the fantasy team you spent countless hours obsessing over while ignoring your job, wife, kids, and the outside world in general goes into the crapper in a few short days thanks to events that are completely out of your control. Yes, it’s true, and I personally experienced the feeling this week with Jermaine O’Neal, who left Wednesday’s game after aggravating his chronic knee injury. He’ll be back in a game or two, right?

“The question is when I am going to get back onto the court. Hopefully I can play in the next few games,” he said. “I’ve been trying to stay with it, but it hasn’t really gotten any better. It’s gotten worse.”

Uh. Not the most encouraging words. The free agent option until O’Neal returns is Jeff Foster, which, as Fantasy Basketblog explains, is indeed no option at all. Jeff Foster and fantasy basketball championships go together like hand puppets and Harlem. They exist in different planes of reality and trying to put them together will result in confusion and anger.

As I’m sure you’ve thought to yourself by now, Jermaine O’Neal injuring his knee is hardly an unexpected event, and to feign surprise about it is an insult to your intellect. Fair enough. More of a surprise is Joe Johnson, who is likely out for the season with a bruise in his right calf. And, really, with a record of 23-39, there’s no reason for Johnson to rush back to the Hawks. I just found out how the injury happened, though:

The injury apparently occurred in Monday’s game against the Miami Heat, when Johnson was accidentally kicked in the leg by teammate Esteban Batista

That’s spelled E-S-T-E-B-A-N, if there are any Joe Johnson owners out there who feel the need to send hate mail. Anthony Johnson played 44 minutes for the banged up Hawks in their last game, and I guarantee you that he’ll be more productive than Jeff Foster if you were pick him up. On a scale of 1 to 10, that’s some level 2 praise right there. A step ahead of “well, he tries harder than Michael Olowokandi”, which can be said of everyone with the possible exception of Lebron James.

Esteban Batista, Quality Teammate

In related news, you sold high on Wally Szczerbiak after his hot start to the season, right? Well, after missing 24 games so far this season with 5 ankle sprains, Szczerbiak “underwent season-ending surgery on his left ankle Thursday.” That’s 5 ankle sprains THIS season, not in his career. A good fact to remember when you’re thinking about drafting Szczerbiak next season.

I’ve been waiting on Andres Nocioni’s return from plantar fasciitis since before the All-Star break and now it appears that he might not return at all this season. Well, it’s a keeper league, anyway. Although, I’ll probably end up keeping Nocioni’s teammate Deng instead, who’s put together a great low-key year for me and is one of the only guys on my team who can actually put the ball in the hoop over half the time.

To end on a positive note: Mark Madsen returns for the Timberwolves tonight, setting up the huge Shaquille O’Neal/Mark Madsen grudge match showdown. Dance, white boy, dance.

or: Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They’re just an interpretation, they’re not a record, and they’re irrelevant if you have the facts.

or: I don’t feel drunk

My name is Nels. I am a basketball addict. I wasn’t always like this.

Most of the time I can safely ignore the period of professional basketball that started in 1994 and continued through 2001. It’s really kind of a long time. And I do, generally, try to ignore the fact that basketball was played professionally during those 7 years. Not because I disapprove of any of the players or teams or styles or anything, really. The truth is, I didn’t follow basketball for those 7 years. Why this sudden confession?

Well, it started with this article on CelticsBlog.com about Boston’s team in 1997. It continues like this: I could not tell you who was drafted in what year for anyone drafted during that time. I’d even be stymied to come up with the correct year for the #1 picks. I watched Jordan dismantle (or just beat, depending on your perspective) teams in the Finals and that was about it.

So, what does this have to do with an article about one of the worst teams in the Celtics (and perhaps League) history? Well, two years before that 97 team, Dominque Wilkins played for the Celtics. So what?

I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. That’s right. Before reading that post, as far as I was concerned, Nique - the Human Highlight Reel - retired with the Hawks. Fans of his may very well wish that he had, just as many Jordan fans wish that he’d finished with what Bob Costas called possibly his last shot. But Nique went on to play for the Celtics (among others) and scored almost 18 points a game for them. That ain’t bad. I mean, that’s definite fantasy relevance. But I didn’t know that.

Whew. Okay. Just had to get that out there. I’m sure no one would have ever found out, but really, sometimes, you just have to lay yourself bare for your own edification.