If you’ve got Mike Bibby on any of your teams, you’ve probably noticed the same thing I have: His numbers are falling.

Not like a bowling ball into a bathtub of pudding… more like Dollhouse’s Nielsen ratings…

36 minutes on November 13th has become 26 minutes on December 13th. And I’m not just pulling those as isolated incidents. I know this because the decline coincides with another player’s numbers increasing. If you hadn’t guessed already, that player is Jeff Teague. Again, it’s not like he’s shot up like he just took a fistful of Viagra. More like that crack in your ceiling that you didn’t really notice, but now seems like it might be worth trying to do something about.

Teague has gone from 4 minutes on November 13th to 24 minutes on December 13th. He seems pretty happy about it, too.

I’m not saying you should grab Teague right now, especially if you don’t already have Bibby on your team. But, if you have an expendable roster spot, and you have Bibby on your team… it might be worth considering.

After all, this is turning out to be another Year of the Rookie – especially once Blake Griffin is throwing down 20 and 10 every night.

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“The beauty of the world, which is so soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.”
– Virginia Woolf

I am completely stunned. I mean, there was no way the Nets would be as good as last year, but at no time did I ever think they could lose 17 games in a row to tie the worst start ever.

Line of the Night: Josh Smith (1.24) had a very Josh Smithy-esque-ish line: 23 points, 7 rebounds, 2 steals, and 5 blocks. He’s up to #10 on the Player Rater. I am very sorry for having him ranked so low prior to the start of the season. If he can play another 52 games this season, he will have earned more than an apology. He’ll have my trust.

Honorable Mentions: It was Kobe Bryant (1.23) who helped the Nets tie the record with his 30 points (5 threes), 8 rebounds, and 7 assists. Marc Gasol (1.14) had 26, 5, and 6, adding 3 steals and 3 blocks. Watch those assists – he could be a Small Ball center for next year.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Sergio Rodriguez (0.98) had 24 points in 24 minutes for Sacramento. He also had 5 assists and 2 steals, but that kind of performance is usually pretty hard to repeat. And that’s probably why he’s owned in only 1% of leagues.

The Biggest Loser: I really wanted to find one of the Nets who was responsible for their 17th loss, but then Joe Johnson (-0.56) had to play 43 minutes and shoot 29%. Johnson had 10 points, 2 rebounds, and 3 assists. What the hell was he doing out there for 43 minutes? Oh, right: Letting Josh Smith do everything.

All Eyez On Me: Do yourself a favor and watch Gossip Girl tonight.

The Golden Ticket: Golden State plays host to Indiana, so let’s see if an injured Danny Granger can still pull out golden fantasy lines with the help of Nellieball.

—–

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First, please go to this post from 2 seasons ago. The immediately relevant part is the first A-Town Dancer you see there.

Okay, back? If you didn’t bother looking, let me just tell you there was a picture of (now former) Hawks A-Town Dancer. Why is that relevant?

Said, Hawks dancer, who’s real name is Briana, is now making money entertaining men in a different sort of way. And she’s probably getting a lot more of said money than she did as a dancer. She is making porn. Well, she’s not really the one making it, but she’s starring in it.

I almost laughed out loud when I first read this, but then I turned off SafeSearch and did a Google Image Search for Brandy Blair.

I know what you’re saying, that looks pretty tame… but notice the watermark. It doesn’t say Give Me The Rock, that’s for sure. And by now, you’ve probably also noticed the pics below…

So, it’s not like she got a tattoo that says: “I’m doing it for money” but those are the tame ones. Try an image search yourself, and I think you’ll find the proof is in the pudding. And by pudding, I mean, well… you know.

Thanks: Guyism

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ESPN’s Seth Landman talks about Marvin Williams before going on to evaluate some players who are trending up and down.

The Fantasy Sports Blog had Lesters Legends’ Top Fantasy Basketball Performers for 2/9/09.

And finally, it’s not fantasy-related, but StevieY19 roasts the Bulls, and it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. Can’t wait to see more bloggers do this for their teams. I’d do it to, but Stevie already did it for the Bulls and did a damn fine job of it.

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Honorable Mentions: Manu Ginobli (1.28) had 26 points (4 threes, 80% FG, 86% FT), 8 rebounds, 2 steals and a block. He played 21 minutes. I wonder where that gets him on Hollinger’s efficiency ratings.

Everyone’s favorite sleeper, Paul Millsap (0.92), had 28 and 15.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: The easy choice here is Sebastian Telfair (0.58), who had the 7th best line of the night with 17 points (2 threes) and 9 assists, turning the ball over only once. Bassy has played more than 30 minutes in 7 of his last 8 games, and also started 7 of those last 8. He’s still fumbling with consistency, but since Kevin Ollie is injured and Rashad McCants is evidently cool with his DNP-CDs,* Telfair is definitely worth looking at if you need some PG help.

The Biggest Loser: I’m afraid the first guy that comes up who is actually owned in a majority of leagues is going to be Danny Granger (-0.35). Granger played 33 minutes, but shot only 5-15 from the field, and had only a single rebound and one lone assist. He did shoot 7-8 from the line and ended up with 17 points, so it wasn’t a total waste. And with Granger on your team, you probably weren’t looking to win FG% every week anyway, right?

All Eyez On Me: Cleveland at Portland looks to be a preview of a Finals matchup a few years from now.

The Golden Ticket: Golden State played Oklahoma City today, so here’s to Kevin Durant and Jeff Green. Phoenix will be at New York for the Old vs. New matchup. Do players get psyched up to play against their new coach’s old team?

* McCants said last week:

“I’m a professional. I’ve just got to come to work every day and prepare. Whether I play or not, I just always have to be ready.”

Dont miss a day of the Fantasy NBA. Subscribe to Give Me The Rock  right now. You can also get bonus (and easily digestible) content by following GMTR on Twitter, or join the Give Me The Rock Room on FriendFeed to get posts, Twitters, and Midnight Snacks all in one place. You can even become a fan of GMTR on Facebook! We’re so social!

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Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Since Carlos Delfino (5.03) is available in one of my Yahoo leagues, I guess that makes him eligible for WWLotN. He didn’t score 34 like Dub-J but he did make 6 three pointers last night, and ended up with 24 points. He added 5 rebounds, an assists, a steal, and a block. Unfortunately for anyone still in any sort of fantasy basketball hunt, I would recommend you NOT pick up Delfino. He hasn’t had a game even close to that one since March 30th, and it seems unlikely that it’ll happen again in the next 5 days.

A somewhat less risky pickup would be Tyrus Thomas (4.32) who had 20 and 14 with 3 assists and 3 blocks. In April, Dub-T has been averaging 29 minutes per game, and he can be very efficient with that time. He’s still definitely a risk, but if you need a few more rebounds and blocks to contend for whatever you’re contending for, then he might be worth throwing in the ring.

The Biggest Loser: Watch out for Gilbert Arenas (2.02). I’m sure there were at least a couple people counting on him to come back from injury and save them, but it’s clear that he’s just trying to get his legs back a little before the playoffs. And with his shooting the way it is (4/10, 5/14, 2/8 the last 3 games) he’s going to need all the legs he can get, especially if the Wizards draw the Cavs in the first round. Still, I wouldn’t expect Gilbert to start performing like the number 7 overall pick that he was back in October until say… April 19th rolls around.

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Honorable Mentions: If you’re familiar with the usual player rater scores on the daily rundown (5.5 to 6.0 = line of the night on most days) you’ve got to be impressed with this list of honorable mentions. Jason Richardson (6.2) had 34 points off 13-20 shooting and added 8 boards, 5 threes, 4 steals, and a block; Mehmet Okur (5.7) was 9-11 from the field and 6-7 from three and had 11 rebounds, 3 steals and 27 points; LeBron James (5.7) had 38/11/4 with 5 threes and a couple blocks; and 18-straight for Houston and Tracy McGrady (5.6), who shot 17-27 and finished with 41/6/9 and 2 blocks.

Due to all the great games, I’m leaving out a bunch of guys who scored 30+ points and even Dwight Howard who blocked 5 shots yesterday. Deal with it. As the great Ric Flair said, “To be the man you have to beat the man.”

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Nate Robinson (4.8) dropped 45 on the Blazers in an overtime loss. He also had 6 rebounds and 6 assists. I have a feeling he’s available in your league, even though he probably shouldn’t be considering the way he’s been playing as of late. It may have something to do with the fact that he’s a Knick.

The “I Wish I could Trust You More” Lines of the Night: One look at Anderson Varejao’s (4.6) box score – 15/16/6 with 4 steals – and you can see why he’s always been a sort of, kind of, intriguing pickup; and my good bubby Paul Millsap (4.5) went for 16/10/4 with 3 steals and 2 blocks. If he could average more than 20 minutes a game, I’d totally be interested.

Let Me Preempt Tomorrow’s Waiver Wire Line of the Night with This: I’ve been hitting the Thaddeus Young pretty hard over the past week, and since I’m putting this rundown up a little late today, I noticed that Young finished today’s (Sunday) game with 18 points and 9 boards in 28 minutes. Sadly, he only had one steal.

The Biggest Loser: Jason Terry (1.2) only got 17 minutes of play yesterday, going 2-5 from the floor and finishing with 5 points, 0 boards and 1 assists. Nothing I’d worry about too much, although it looks like his time was stolen from a one Mr. Antoine Wright, formally of the New Jersey Nets. So, it’s possible (though not likely) we could be seeing a trend here.

And since we’re talking about the Nets, Devin Harris (1.6) had an atrocious game against his former team. Harris shot 3-12 on the night and finished with 9 points, 2 boards and 2 assists in a loss to the Mavs.

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Line of the Night: Josh Smith (5.42) just edged Yao Ming for his 3rd LotN (along with several Honorable Mentions). 34 points on 63% shooting (60% from the line) with 9 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 steals, and 3 blocks. That’s why people love Josh Smith. And the Hawks Dancers are pretty good too.

For those who like the more natural dancers:

And for those who like them a little more Josh Smith:

Honorable Mentions: Yao Ming (5.39) had another huge night; Andres Nocioni (5.36) was big for the Bulls, despite being -7 on the +/- meter.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: I don’t exactly respect the defensive prowess of Rafer Alston, Luther Head, and Aaron Brooks, but Nate Robinson did light them up with 69% shooting and 5 three pointers leading to 25 points. Swap sides. I don’t exactly respect the defensive prowess of Nate Robinson, Stephon Marbury, or Jamal Crawford, but Aaron Brooks did light them up with 80% shooting and 4 three pointers leading to 22 points. I wouldn’t count on Aaron Brooks doing anything like that for another month or two, but Nate Rob has been scoring somewhat decently. And not really doing anything else.

Rise With Us: Once again time to look at Tyrus Thomas. Argh. 14 points, 9 rebounds, 3 blocks in 23 minutes.

Goat of the Night: Rajon Rondo followed up his 2-9 on the 4th with 1-7 last night. 5 rebounds and 0 assists is not what you want a point guard to do for you in fantasy basketball. 1-4 from the line only compounds the issue. Feel free to hit up the comments with your own Goats and Gripes. I dare you to try to top Leonard’s rant about his team.

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IF YOU ENJOY WRITING FAN MAIL:
Email your favorite Dallas Maverick player.

IF YOU ENJOY WRITING FAN MAIL AND STALKING:
Write to your favorite Nuggets Dancer, c/o Pepsi Center, 1000 Chopper Circle, Denver, CO 80204

IF YOU LIKE JUMPING OFF TRAMPOLINES
Join the Detroit Pistons’ Flight Crew.

IF YOU’RE A CANADIAN STREET BALLER
Play in NBA 3ON3 (sponsored by the Raptors)

IF YOUR CHILD IS A FATTY AND SHAQ IS NOT AVAILABLE
Sign-up for Get Fit with the Golden State Warriors.

IF YOU CAN GOLF:
Play with Tyrus Thomas.

IF YOU CAN’T GOLF:
Play softball with Tracy McGrady.

IF YOU CAN SING:
Audition to sing the national anthem at a Cavaliers game.

IF YOU’RE BETWEEN THE AGE 7 AND 16 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $100.
Go to a summer camp hosted by Sean May, Dell Curry, Brevin Knight, or the Carroll Brothers.

IF YOU’RE BETWEEN THE AGE 7 AND 16 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $250.
Go to the Sonics Basketball Summer Camp.

IF YOU’RE OVER THE AGE OF 35 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $17,500.
Go to the Michael Jordan Flight School.

IF YOU’RE A PUPPETEER, VENTRILOQUIST, OR HAVE ANOTHER SKILL THAT PEOPLE PRETEND TO FIND ENTERTAINING:
Become an in-game entertainer for the Hawks or Bobcats.

IF YOU OWN A CAMCORDER AND ENJOY WATCHING THE CLIPPERS:
Make a fan video.

IF YOU OWN A CAMERA, A COPY OF PHOTOSHOP, AND A GRILL OR OTHER HIBACHI-LIKE DEVICE
Enter the “Are you Hibachi enough?” contest.

IF YOU’RE AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH DANCE SKILLS
Audition to become an NBA dancer, preferably for the Lakers, Mavs, Heat, Spurs, or Rockets

IF YOU’RE AN UNATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH DANCE SKILLS
Get a lesson from the Knicks Dance Team.

IF YOU’RE A FORMER CHEERLEADER OR GYMNAST AND ARE ATTRACTIVE (FEMALE) OR ENJOY TOUCHING WOMEN IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACES WITHOUT THE THREAT OF GOING TO JAIL (MALE):
Try out for the Detroit Work Force or Utah Jazz Stunt Team.

IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE EVALUATING PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS
Become the Director of Player Personnel for the Houston Rockets.

IF YOU HAVE BALL HANDLING SKILLS AND COURT VISION:
Try out for the Celtics. (Credit to Basketbawful)

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I could have saved myself a lot of time on this preview by simply pointing you in the direction of the 2006 GMTR Hawks preview with the instructions to substitute the name Al Horford for Shelden Williams. That’s pretty much all you need to know about the fantasy 2007 Atlanta Hawks.

Instead, I’m going to go the extra mile for my good friend and Atlanta “resident” Jimmy. Jimmy was a homeless man who once led me through downtown Atlanta one night around 12 in the am. I won’t go into details about how I got there, just know that I learned my lesson. Jimmy was kind of hard to understand, but I did hear him say that he had been in jail before. Interestingly, he brought up the jail thing in the larger context of trying to convince me that he was a good guy. “I’ve been in jail” and “I’m a good guy” aren’t phrases that usually go together, at least at my family dinner conversations, so I’m eternally grateful to Jimmy for not killing me in front of the Majestic Diner.

But the point is that Jimmy got me where I needed to go without raping me in an alley, which is more than can be said about the Hawk’s GM, Billy Knight. Ok, that’s a little harsh. The Philips Arena has much better lighting than an alley.

What the Hawks lack in victories, they more than make up for in point guards and forwards. Billy Knight must be trying to get back at his detractors by currently carrying five point guards on his roster. Acie Law, the second of the Hawks’ first round picks, is one of those point guards. Law, who has drawn comparisons to Chauncey Billups or Sam Cassell is an unselfish player who is a good ball handler with leadership abilities. I’m no expert on the Hawks, so I’ll let Sekou Smith elaborate more on the point guard situation in his blog. According to Smith, it looks like Law will have some time to develop as the team’s second or third point guard behind Speedy Claxton (201, 245) and perhaps Tyronn Lue (175, 190) or Anthony Johnson (273, 280), if one or both doesn’t get traded.

Regardless of how the Hawks point guard clusterf**k plays out, the most likely outcome is some kind of 20/20/8 situation that destroys everyone’s fantasy value, at least until someone (cough:Claxton:cough) gets hurt. I wouldn’t rush to draft any Hawks point guard, although it might be a good idea to keep a lazy eye on Acie Law to see if his playing time increases as the season progresses or maybe, just maybe, he wins the job outright.

It’s tough to mention Al Horford’s name without mentioning that he’s “NBA ready” so, just so you know, he’s NBA ready, which basically means that he’s ready to play in the NBA, unlike say, Kevin Durant, whose popsicle stick body got chewed up into little, wet splinter sized pieces during summer league games. From what I can gleam off the Internet, Horford’s drawn comparisons anywhere from a Shelden Williams clone to a “young Derrick Coleman without the baggage,” which, my friends, is no Derrick Coleman. Let me go out on a limb and say, even by the end of the year, it will be apparent that Horford is not the third best player from this draft. Expect decent defense from Horford right out of the gate and, even though he’s NBA ready, his offense will need a little time to develop.

Damn, I wish that Josh Smith (25 on the rater last season, 41 with turnovers) could shoot, because he can just about do everything else. His 69% free throw and 44% field goal percentages (25% on threes) are not pretty to look at, but you put up with that for 16 points, 8.6 rebounds, 1.4 steals, and 3 blocks a game. His percentages haven’t improved any since he came into the league and he should actually lay off the threes a little as it’s a pretty weak part of his game. But overall, he’s a solid 3rd rounder and it’s always nice to have someone on your team who will supply you with sweet highlights on a daily basis.

The end of last year was a Carl Lewis’ national anthem-level disaster for head-to-head leagues. Joe Johnson (34, 44) was one of those guys who made it so bad. Johnson had a solid year until he went down with a calf injury during the last month of the season. He was ready to return by the end of the season, but was held out cause the Hawks sucked. That’s a good sign… that Johnson was healthy, not that the Hawks suck. It was also the first game he missed in five years, so there’s no reason why Johnson shouldn’t go by the fourth round, at least.

It’s so much easier to make decisions with your gut than to sit back and look at the facts. The Marvin Williams (134, 161) I conjure up off the top of my head was the guy I drafted, promptly broke his hand and missed the first month of the season, came back to shoot like a blind man from the floor, and put up some horrible stat lines for about a month before I dropped him. I was ready to write Williams off again this year, but his game log shows that he actually had a pretty decent end to the season (14.7 points, 6.3 rebounds and 85% from the line in his last 22 games). Ok, it’s not gangbusters, but its way better than the image I have of him in my head. I don’t see him blowing up anytime soon, but he should get plenty of minutes ahead of…

After three years of no improvement, Josh Childress (65, 47) had a smallish breakout before also going down at the end of the year. I’d be a little more excited about his prospects this year except that Josh Smith and Marvin Williams appear to be the frontrunners for the starting forward spots on this team. It took Childress 37 minutes a game to average his 13 points, 6 rebounds, and 2 assists last season (he’s the anti Eddie House). Unless someone gets hurt, he’ll probably be lucky to average 30 minutes on this team. The result will probably be a return to his pre-2007 numbers and he’ll be worth a nice 9th to 10th round pick.

I greatly enjoy reading basketbawful’s word of the day. I’d love to see “Zaza” become the word of the day for a backup fantasy center. As in Zaza Pachulia (102, 130). It’s fun to say. It rolls off the tongue. 12 points, 7 rebounds, half a block, decent percentages. Oh yeah, that’s a Zaza.

Shelden Williams (221, 239). Not. A. Good. Draft. Pick. Even the Shelden Williams fan site stopped posting after his 9th game. Salim Stoudamire (287, 277) is like the 6th guard on the depth chart. Slava Medvedenko (410, 402) has a name that’s fun to say.

The Hawks get a lot of crap for being historically inept at just about everything, however, this team appears to be headed in the right direction. They have a lot of young talent and (amazingly) this talent seems to fit into one larger plan. The Hawks’ depth will hurt the fantasy performance of some guys, like Horford and Childress, but expect to see some roster movement in the next few months, especially at the point guard position. Maybe this is a team worth keeping an eye on after all.

GMTR Draft Prognostication

Josh Smith: 3rd Round
Joe Johnson: 3rd/4th
Marvin Williams: 9th
All Zazas: 10th+
Acie Law/Speedy Claxton/Tyronn Lue/Anthony Johnson: To be announced

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