Give Me The Rock

It’s hard to like a team with James Posey on it, but it’s also hard to like the group of Lame-O players clustered around LeBron James.

Line of the Night: It was huge night for Carmelo Anthony (6.7). He scored 47, going 19-24 from the field and 6-6 from the line, 11 boards, 3 steals and 3 threes. So, who cares that the Nuggets lost to the Kings dropping them into a tie for the 8th seed in the West. Carmelo had 47!

Honorable Mentions: Kevin Martin (5.3) was perfect from the line (in 13 attempts) and his 36 points overcame Carmelo’s 47; the Turkish assassin Hedo Turkoglu (5.0) went for 23/5/5 with deuces (threes/steals/blocks); and Vince Carter (4.8) had 32/7/5 with a couple steals and a block.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Part of Toronto’s problem this season can be tied to the fact that Rasho Nesterovic (4.7) is their most talented center. Still, credit where it’s due - the big man finished with 22 and 14 with 3 blocks.

With the Kings starters banged up again, re-enter the dynamic duo of Francisco Garcia (4.1) and John Salmons (3.8). Garcia scored 29 in 34 minutes while Salmons was a much less successful 3-12 from the floor (but he did have 6 assists and 5 steals). Artest is currently day-to-day and it’s looking more and more like Beno Udrih is done for the rest of the year. Also, Spencer Hawes (2.8) started in place of a DNPed Bra Miller and threw up an uninspiring 8 point 9 rebound performance. Miller is also day-to-day.

Is It Ok to Sit an Entire Team? Yesterday, the Celtics finally relented and rested KG and Ray Allen (with Pierce missing the game to witness the birth of his child – pretty lame excuse if you ask me). That meant we got to see a lot of James Posey (3.7), Leon Powe (3.6), Eddie House (3.4) and the results weren’t as horrific like you’d imagine an Eddie House led team to be. Posey scored a season-high 19 points, House had 16, and Leon Powe, the poor man’s Ryan Gomes, had 22 and 9. Expect more of the same while the Celtics play out the rest of their meaningless games.

The Biggest Loser: By this point in the season, Jason Richardson (2.0) owners know to expect games like this from him every blue moon. Richardson was 4-12 from the field and 1-7 from three. He scored 9 points with 1 rebound and 4 assists as the Bobcats got torched by the Celtics backup squad.

Dishonorable Mentions: Josh Childress’ (1.2) game was pretty pathetic yesterday as he played 26 minutes and scored 2 points with 1 rebound and no threes, assists, steals, or blocks; and not only was Joakim Noah (1.4) 1-4 from the field and 5-12 from the line yesterday, but his counting stats – 2 boards and 1 assist - sucked hard as well. Good thing no one out there is actually relying on him, right?

According to the Boston Herald (the NY Post of the Boston scene) Kevin Garnett, who is currently day-to-day with an abdominal strain, could be out for weeks rather than days. The article goes on to quote Garnett:

The last three days have probably been the most difficult. You don’t know how many movements are affected throughout your core and abdomen. It’s everything from coughing and sneezing and laughing and moving around and tossing and turning in the bed at night. It can be difficult.

That doesn’t sound like a guy who’s coming back soon. If you can’t sneeze or cough, then even a slob like me knows that professional basketball is out of the question. So, if Garnett is indeed out for the immediate future, what should you do? Are there any Celtics worth picking up? Well, let’s run the Celtics last 5 games without Garnett through the player rater and see what happens.

Big Winners: Rajon Rondo (Current Rank: 97, Rank using last 5 Games: 11). You wouldn’t necessarily think that a KG injury would benefit Rajon Rondo, but the guy has absolutely been on fire in the Celtics last five games (averaging 19 points, 7 rebounds, 4.4 assists and 2.4 steals). I’m not quite sold on the points and rebounds long term even with KG out, but the Rondo should be a solid 2nd tier point guard averaging somewhere in the 15/5/5 range with 2 steals.

Ray Allen (Current Rank: 48, Rank using last 5 Games: 15): KG’s scoring may be down this year, but those missing 19.2 points have to come from somewhere, and they’ve been coming from Ray Allen (22 points and 2.5 threes a game). That scoring will most definitely continue while KG is out.

James Posey (Current Rank: 149, Rank using last 5 Games: 60): Injuries begat opportunity and KG’s has given the most opportunity to James Posey. Posey’s minutes are up about 6 a game, which means he’s scoring more points (up about 2 a game), he’s making one more 3’s a game on average, and his assists and steals have doubled. He’s due for some letdown, but Posey will totally be worth a pickup until KG returns.

Winners: Paul Pierce (Current Rank: 24, Rank using last 5 Games: 19): Scoring: Up. Assists: Up. Threes: Up. Defense: Down. Pierce has clearly shifted his focus to the O sans KG and it’s a slight positive to his fantasy game. He’s become a little bit more the Paul Pierce of old, which is great for fantasy purposes, but not so great for winning game purposes.

Tony Allen (Current Rank: 203, Rank using last 5 Games: 117): Again, not a guy you think would benefit from an injured KG, but the points have to come from somewhere and Allen can score in bunches. He has increased his scoring from 6.5 points a game on the year to 10.6 in his last five. His threes have doubled as well. Allen is really starting to come on recently after his horrific injury last year, so there is no reason to believe he can’t keep it up over the rest of the season.

Hold: Leon Powe (Current Rank: 317, Rank using last 5 Games: 191): Powe is having a decent run for the Celtics (12 points and 7 rebounds in his past 5) as the Celtics have been going small, but unless you’re in a deep league, he doesn’t bring enough to the table to justify the pickup.

Thanks for Playing: Eddie House/Big Baby Davis. Collect your consolation prize at the door (I hear it’s a grocery hauling donkey. Sweet.).

WTF: Kendrick Perkins (Current Rank: 174, Rank using last 5 Games: 219): The Celtics don’t have a lot of post players, so you’d think the guy who plays alongside KG would benefit the most from his injury. Instead, Perk’s minutes and stats are down as the Celtics have decided to run with small lineups on numerous occasions. Either Doc Rivers doesn’t know what he’s doing (entirely possible) or it looks like Perk isn’t cut out to be THE MAN down low by himself.

Line of the Night: Kobe Bryant (5.45) pulls out the best line of the night even with the 11 turnovers, and not only that, but he moves up to the Number 2 spot on NBA.com’s FSPI player rater for The 2007-08 Season. I’m not sure if it was the 39 points, the 10 rebounds, or the 13-15 from the line (or maybe even the 5 assists, 2 steals, and block)… most likely a combination of all of the above. Also, does this mean he’s now the front runner for Real World MVP?

Honorable Mentions: Dirk Nowitzki (5.42) put together a game that was fairly comparable to Kobe’s. A few less point, but an extra rebound and assist, and Dirk didn’t miss any free throws. Maybe if he’d taken 5 more he would have missed 2 of them.

Holy Crap Larry Hughes of the Night: Larry Hughes (5.10) had 28 points on 10-21 (same as Dirk), with 4 threes, and was also perfect from the line (on only 4 attempts, though). 6 rebounds, 5 assists, and 3 steals! Larry Hughes!

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Well, since I’ve already let the Larry Hughes out of the bag, let us go with Jeff Green of Seattle (3.52). Greenie had 17 points on 8-8 shooting, and as Patrick would tell you (for the second day in a row), if someone gets WWLotN by shooting over 70%, there’s a 70% chance it’s a fluke. But guess what, there’s a 100% chance it’s Friday, and a 93% chance that I don’t feel like looking at any more lines to see if there’s someone else out there to pick. Especially when the next 2 guys I looked at were James Posey (3.43), who shot 3-9, so I’m not sure how he got rated that high at all, and Damon Jones (3.41) who made 5 shots, all of which were three-pointers.

The Biggest Loser: Tony Allen (1.02) just barely cleared a rating of 1, with his 1 assist and 1 turnover last night. Most of the minutes he should have had were taken up by James Posey’s awesome performance. Eddie House and Kendrick Perkins were also near the bottom of the ratings… Good thing for the Celtics Ray Allen was back to help them take out the Mavericks. I’m telling you, though, as soon as Ray Ray goes down again, Tony Allen is money.

Leandro Barbosa (1.73) had a pretty awful night, and the expectation are a bit higher for him than for Tony Allen. Barbosa was 2-10 with 2 rebounds and 3 assists. He’s still at #54 on the GMTR Player Rater, though he’s slipped to #89 on NBA.com’s ratings for the past 10 days.

Happy Friday.
Happy Super Sunday.

Happy All-Star announcement day for Brandon Roy.

Blazer Dancer Melissa in honor of Brandon Roy

Yes, there have been other days when the Celtics beat the Knicks. And there will probably be more days when the Celtics beat the Knicks. But probably not many more that will top the drubbing the Knicks took last night.

Line of the Night: Baron Davis (6.35) had to actually play in his game, so he gets the A for effort. 27 points, 8 assists, and 5 steals (it’s always the big steals and blocks that get people high on the fantasy ratings).

Honorable Mentions: Paul Pierce (5.20) had 21 points in 29 minutes off of 4 three pointers and added 8 rebounds, 4 assists and 2 steals. Garnett (4.46) was also in the top 10, and Ray Allen (4.22) was 11. None of The Big Three played more than 30 minutes, so that should tell you a lot about efficiency as it relates to fantasy basketball.

Waiver Wire Line of the Night: Eddie Hizzouse (5.01) missed his only 2 shots inside the arc, but he made 5 of them from outside, and also had 3 steals to add some juice to his fantasy rating. Too bad for him the Celtics don’t play the Knicks every night.

Rise With Us: Linus Kleiza (3.41) has put together 2 good games in a row. Luis Scola has 9 and 9 with 2 steals and a block… but some “fantasy expert” in your league probably already has him. Steve Francis put in another decent Waiver Wire type of game. He’s doing everything except scoring…

Goat of the Night: Zach Randolph (1.34) and his 1/10 in only 18 minutes just edged out Eddy Curry (1.39) and his 2/11 (in 22 minutes). At least Marbury (1.56) only took 6 shots. Curry had an assist, which I guess is worth more than Randolph’s 2/2 from the line.

With Ray Allen and KG joining the Celtics this season, tickets to home games will no doubt be impossible or very expensive to get. I felt it important to document the pre Allen/KG game attending experience, so we can see how much things are about to change.

Or, in other words, I had these pictures sitting on my computer for a while and now is a good time to break them out.

I believe these pictures are from a Celtics game in 2005 against the Nets, although I’m not completely sure about the date. Our tickets for the game were on the floor level, probably about 10-15 rows deep behind the visitors’ hoop. Pre Allen/KG, these tickets had a face value of $100 each, but we were able to get ours for $50 due to less than stellar demand. We got down to the Fleet Center (now the TD Banknorth Garden) two hours before the start of the game because the Celtics opened their doors to premium ticket buyers (of which we were included) at that time. All the “regular” people had to wait until an hour before the game. During this two hour period, you could walk around an empty arena, watch players do their pre-game warm-ups, and of course, hound players walking on and off the court for autographs.

I was at the game with my beautiful wife, her sister, and two of my brother-in-laws (my wife comes from a family with 7 children, so I have a total of 5 brother-in-laws and 5 sister-in-laws. Holidays are interesting). Anyway at the time, one of my brother-in-laws was in love with Marcus Banks. He was absolutely sure that Banks was going to be the next great Celtics point guard. And when Banks came over to our side of the court, he was all over him and was able to get him to autograph his ticket. That autograph didn’t quite turn out as he expected, but Marcus to his credit, was incredibly nice to the fans and signed autographs for everyone who asked for one.

My other brother-in-law was equally excited about Kerry Kittles. I think he followed him going back to his Villanova days. He actually ran around to another section of the arena just so he could get Kittles’ autograph as he was leaving the court. I was only able to get a back shot of Kittles, but notice how he is handing the autograph back without even looking at my brother-in-law. I guess that’s what happens when you ask for Kittles’ autograph while wearing a Celtics shirt. Kittles didn’t sign many autographs that day.

Finally, a guy who I wouldn’t mind getting an autograph from, if I did that kind of thing. There were children stacked 5 deep within a second of Pierce appearing from the locker room. I could have probably taken 3-4 kids out on my way to Pierce, but 5 would have been a challenge.

Here is a view of the Celtics warming up from our seats.

There are a lot of great things going on with this picture (tough to see in this small version). Pierce and Ricky Davis are warming up, but:

1. Who is that third Celtics player with them? Is it Vin Baker? (UPDATE - it’s actually Jumaine Jones)
2. The Celtics warm-up did mainly consist of Pierce, Davis, and player number 3 standing around and making jokes to each other.
3. Deep in the background, there is Rodney Rogers standing at the three point line practicing his shot. That sweet three point touch apparently took some practice.
4. Notice the balding white men standing around Rogers, surely imparting him with all their pick-up basketball wisdom.
5. Ricky Davis appears to be undressing my wife with his eyes.

So, there you go. Attending a Celtics basketball game pre Allen/KG consisted of buying floor tickets at half their face value, casually walking players to get their autograph, and having Ricky Davis molest your wife with his eyes.

For most fans, the NBA experience consists of watching games on TV and in person, with the occasional special event or autograph signing thrown in. But this guide will help you maximize your enjoyment of the NBA. To use this guide, simply locate your skill or skills and then do what’s listed there. It’s really that simple.

IF YOU ENJOY WRITING FAN MAIL:
Email your favorite Dallas Maverick player.

IF YOU ENJOY WRITING FAN MAIL AND STALKING:
Write to your favorite Nuggets Dancer, c/o Pepsi Center, 1000 Chopper Circle, Denver, CO 80204

IF YOU LIKE JUMPING OFF TRAMPOLINES
Join the Detroit Pistons’ Flight Crew.

IF YOU’RE A CANADIAN STREET BALLER
Play in NBA 3ON3 (sponsored by the Raptors)

IF YOUR CHILD IS A FATTY AND SHAQ IS NOT AVAILABLE
Sign-up for Get Fit with the Golden State Warriors.

IF YOU CAN GOLF:
Play with Tyrus Thomas.

IF YOU CAN’T GOLF:
Play softball with Tracy McGrady.

IF YOU CAN SING:
Audition to sing the national anthem at a Cavaliers game.

IF YOU’RE BETWEEN THE AGE 7 AND 16 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $100.
Go to a summer camp hosted by Sean May, Dell Curry, Brevin Knight, or the Carroll Brothers.

IF YOU’RE BETWEEN THE AGE 7 AND 16 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $250.
Go to the Sonics Basketball Summer Camp.

IF YOU’RE OVER THE AGE OF 35 AND HAVE ACCESS TO $17,500.
Go to the Michael Jordan Flight School.

IF YOU’RE A PUPPETEER, VENTRILOQUIST, OR HAVE ANOTHER SKILL THAT PEOPLE PRETEND TO FIND ENTERTAINING:
Become an in-game entertainer for the Hawks or Bobcats.

IF YOU OWN A CAMCORDER AND ENJOY WATCHING THE CLIPPERS:
Make a fan video.

IF YOU OWN A CAMERA, A COPY OF PHOTOSHOP, AND A GRILL OR OTHER HIBACHI-LIKE DEVICE
Enter the “Are you Hibachi enough?” contest.

IF YOU’RE AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH DANCE SKILLS
Audition to become an NBA dancer, preferably for the Lakers, Mavs, Heat, Spurs, or Rockets

IF YOU’RE AN UNATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH DANCE SKILLS
Get a lesson from the Knicks Dance Team.

IF YOU’RE A FORMER CHEERLEADER OR GYMNAST AND ARE ATTRACTIVE (FEMALE) OR ENJOY TOUCHING WOMEN IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACES WITHOUT THE THREAT OF GOING TO JAIL (MALE):
Try out for the Detroit Work Force or Utah Jazz Stunt Team.

IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE EVALUATING PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS
Become the Director of Player Personnel for the Houston Rockets.

IF YOU HAVE BALL HANDLING SKILLS AND COURT VISION:
Try out for the Celtics. (Credit to Basketbawful)